Emerging Technologies Critical Essay

During this lesson, we learned what PEEL paragraphs are and how to effectively write them. The first P is for point which is used to state our point in the paragraph. The First E is for evidence which uses quotes to directly prove our point before we explain the point. The second E is the explanation so we can properly convey our point to the reader.

Critiques:

Very insightful to the history of video game consoles with many facts to back this up

You have also said what the advancements were between the magnvox and the atari which were the difference in controls which is a very good thing to point out

One wish is to  make sure that this statement is not in first person as I highlighted at the top

The introduction paragraph is engaging and dives straigt into the facts making the essay straight forward and well layed out.

I feel that certain areas could be layed out slightly diffrently which will effect the delivery of the essay. For example the part in blue says (The home console that first boomed in sales and popularity after the Odyssey was the Atari 2600 released in 1977) I feel you could have said that following the odessy the industry boomed with consloles like the atari 2600. Then following with the explanation of the atari.

Lastly I would say you could move on to the future of home consoles in gaming as you have provided plenty of evidensce of the history. This would help the essay feel smoother and would make the reading experience better for the reader.