We entered this new month while still busy with the STAY comeback, although I had not been reporting to work since late August.

At this point our wave had experienced a high level of attrition. As more and more people leave the company, I knew my time with the company was going to end. Our performance as a team had been declining since our transition started. Surveys were ok - a lot of us had promoter calls. But it seemed that our biggest weakness as a team would have to be our inability to close sales. Being the nature of our job, we were being pushed by our supervisors to go our greatest lengths to close sales. They think that a lot of people can do it, so why can’t we?

But for many of us, the idea of closing sales would come at the expense of our moral principles. A lot of my ‘detractors’ (opposite of ‘promoters’) could be attributed to my attempts at closing sales. I was trying my best, but for each passing shift I already grew more and more uncomfortable with my job. I even considered leaving myself because of it. However, since transition was going to end anyway, I decided to gamble on my fate based on my performance - the same way I did for Cara when I decided to re-debut him in another group amid his uncertainties as a leader.

I chose to do my best without expecting anything. If I get in, then I stay. If not, then I leave.

While on sick leave, assuming that I will be leaving the company, I spent the next few days applying for different companies. For the first time, I became confident with my capabilities. That led me to take this leap of faith.

When I came back to work, almost everyone were gone. A lot of the friends I made have already left the company. From there I met an entirely new team. I had to start again from ground zero.

After all, a lot of time had passed since the last time I reported to work. It’s been two weeks.