Life Without a Manual – Living Without You

Available as an eBook, Paperback and Hardcover

About the Book

Life Without a Manual – Living Without You is the true story of a mother who lost her son.

Originally, this book was never meant to be published. It began as a long letter I wrote to my children.

For years, they often told me I was overprotective, sometimes even overbearing. They were right. But they could never understand what was happening inside me.

After the death of their older brother, Michael, I no longer saw the world the way I once had. Even after we moved into a new home, whenever I looked at the steep street outside our house, I didn't see a place where my son could safely learn to ride a bicycle. I imagined him losing control, crashing at the bottom of the street, as if history could repeat itself at any moment.

I wrote this letter to explain those invisible fears. Not to justify myself. Not to ask for forgiveness. But simply so my children could understand why their mother had become the person she was.

I wanted to tell them the truth. Without softening my story. Without hiding my fears. Without hiding my guilt. Without hiding my mistakes. Without hiding my vulnerabilities. Without hiding the moments when I completely fell apart.

Because I believed this letter would only ever be read by them.

Then, one day, the first people who read my manuscript told me something I had never imagined. They told me this letter was no longer only for my children. They recognized their own fears, their own wounds and their own silences in its pages. They encouraged me to share it, believing it could also bring comfort and understanding to other bereaved parents, as well as to those around them.

That was the moment this letter became a book. I never changed its soul.

My name is Valérie Lamber, a Belgian author of Greek origin. This book was published independently.

After completing my studies, I was welcomed as an au pair in Purley, England, fulfilling a long-held dream of improving my English.

I personally carried out the English and Greek translations of this book. As I am not a professional translator, some imperfections may remain. I hope, however, that readers will receive these editions with the same understanding, kindness, and sincerity with which they were carried out.

This is not a theoretical book about grief. It is a true story, deeply personal, written with love, honesty and courage.

I do not claim to have all the answers. I simply share the journey of a mother who lost her child and who, despite a pain that never truly disappears, chose to keep living.

If these pages help you feel understood, a little less alone, or simply heard, then this letter will have found a new purpose.

You are not alone.

Author's Note

"The repetitions found throughout this account are a faithful reflection of what a bereaved parent lives through. They are not a stylistic choice, but the expression of a mind marked by trauma."