Final Paper Peer Reviewed Editing of Riverside Avenue Study
Final Paper Peer Reviewed Editing of Riverside Avenue Study
Group 1 Paper Edit - Click here for edited PDF file
This paper is very well organized and consists of extremely well thought out figures that relate directly to the point of the paper. The structure of the paper is well organized and is easy to follow. The abstract is perfect and summarizes the entire paper well. All the concepts are there and are structured in a good manner. After the introduction explaining landslide causes then diving into the different hydrology (surface and ground) keeps the paper structured and gets the point across in a good way. The figures created using GIS help visualize the findings in a powerful way which would help someone who doesn’t have a science background understand the paper as well. The amount of citations used is great as it shows that you guys really know what you are talking about. The length of the paper meets the criteria of 1200 words. There weren’t too many grammar mistakes as well which makes it look very professional on the first draft, well done! I don’t have much to suggest because it looks so good other than the few things I marked up on the paper. Great job, keep up the good work group 1.
Group 2 Paper Edit - Click here for edited PDF file
The paper is well organized and flows well. The abstract lays the entire paper out in an organized fashion that is readable by all. I really enjoyed the title of this paper, it’s super informative and describes the over paper in a good way. I noticed that the word count is over the required, when thinking about cutting things, I think it’s important to have the history of the slopes, however I think that section could see some cutting. Also, I think that climate change should be touched on more in the paper. Large precipitation events are only going to get more frequent, which will cause more events like the 2019 Halloween storm. There were a few grammatical errors but not too many. The figures are great, however one final suggestion I did have when reading through the paper was that you guys possibly increase the size and resolution of the figures for readability. Nevertheless, the rest of the paper looks great. I liked the case study section on the Halloween storm, (structure is nice) and how you applied the science to the event that occurred. The conclusion tied up the main points well and provides great options for moving forward. Overall, the first draft looks great!
Group 3 Paper Edit (Mine) - Click here for edited PDF file
Although we have the main ideas there, we need to do a bit more organization and structure. Organization such as creation of an introduction and then moving into the concepts and the study area. It was the first draft; however, the paper doesn’t flow that well and is mashed up between different voices. As a group we discussed this and are going to work together to make it more cohesive and like a scientific paper. To do this we need to add more a formal introduction that flows into the rest of our paper. Also, I think we need to add one more figure that portrays the landslides along riverside avenue better. There are a few grammar mistakes, however not too many. We need to also incorporate our figures better into the text to make it more professional. The conclusion needs to incorporate the rest of the paper more to tie all the main ideas together in a more cohesive way. We also need to add more citations and incorporate them into our text. Shortening of the paper also needs to be done and I think this can be done in the human induced section as well as cutting of redundant information. The main ideas are there it’s just organizing them in a way that makes sense to us and the people who will be reading the paper and making decisions based on the findings of the paper. We have a decent start, however we still have some work to do…
Group 4 Paper Edit - Click here for edited PDF file
Overall, the paper flows pretty well and is organized. The abstract introduces the paper nicely and provides a summary of the entire study. The discussion proposes the main ideas in a good way and you guys defiantly know what you’re talking about. The figures were look pretty good; however, I think it would be beneficial to put a map as you first figure just to tell the readers where the paper is taking place. One suggestion I had when reading your paper is that you want to make sure that you are referring to you figures as much as possible. You guys did a good job with this, but I think there are a few areas where improvement can be made. The hydrology section is great, there was just one suggestion that I could make and that’s the addition of climate change to your discussion. Since we know that climate in making precipitation events more frequent, I think it’s important to add this into the paper. The discussion flows well and is structured good, I think you guys should also add in-text citations to further your point and the structure of the paper. One final point is that after your discussions I think you should add a subheading for a conclusion, so the reading doesn’t get abruptly cut off. Nevertheless, the conclusion that is there looks, and it touches upon the main ideas and findings as well as reports options for moving forward. It looks like a great start, keep up the good work!
Group 5 Paper Edit - Click here for edited PDF file
The paper has pretty much everything there, I think you guys just need to spend a little more time getting rid of the hash between the different voices (just like in group 3’s paper – which is mine). I think this is the toughest part about writing group papers and is something that my group struggled with as well. The key concepts are presented in the abstract, however I think it would be beneficial to add in some of the methods and data types within the abstract. Also, I think it would be good to modify the first two figure maps and add in where the study was done (put it into power point and mark it up, add a star or something to indicate the study location). All the main ideas are there, however I think a formal introduction and the addition of subheadings will also help structure the paper better. References to sources in-text should also be added to further the professionalism of the overall paper. The final two suggestions that I have are formatting you references into APA or MLA format to get rid of the links in the references. UVM libraries has a great citation maker that is super easy to use (https://library.uvm.edu/research/citations_style_guides_and_information_management/uvm_citation_builder). This will help you when adding more in-text citations to your paper. Finally, I think the addition of climate change within a section (human induced) can help further your point when talking about large precipitation events and the frequency of landslides along riverside avenue. Great work group 5!
Group 6 Paper Edit - Click here for edited PDF file
Overall, you guys defiantly know what you’re talking about. The structure of the paper is well done (looks scientific), and the figures are excellent and well referenced in the text. The abstract lays out the key concepts and talks about the upcoming paper. I would add your main results to your abstract or your suggestions for moving forward on the topic of riverside avenue to better represent the overall paper. The figures are super easy to read (big) and the captions provided explain them nicely. One suggestion for the figures that are pictures/maps is that you add North arrows to show direction. The paper explains the science behind the landslides in a great way and the figures that show the forces are referenced in-text well. The area that could use some shortening would be the big paragraph about landslide mitigation. Its super informative and important, however I think that it can be cut down a bit and still get the point across. The conclusion is great and ties everything together including climate change which is great. Overall, it’s looks like you guys are doing a great job and really only need to do a couple things for you next draft. Good work group 6!