Identify positive sides of negative situations

General

Even in challenging circumstances, it's possible to look for silver linings.

• Here's a possible worksheet to help structure your discussion. 

• Step 1 - Positive mindset: List 5 things that make your life enjoyable. 
• Step 2 - A moment of frustration: What happened that didn't go your way?
• Step 3 - Silver Linings: Spend time reflecting on silver linings from situation in step 2 and describe 3 of them.

University Application Specific

This may seem harsh, but after some time has passed after a series of university rejections, I gently guide some of my students through a discussion of what they gained through the entire university application process. 

"What did you learn / what skills did you gain from the process?" You can make it more specific, zeroing in on certain stages such as: 

• • Essay writing process
  • Reflecting on your activities
  • Researching universities

"What would you tell yourself as you started this process?"

"Would you repeat this process if you knew the outcome?"

I also focus on the very fact that they put themselves out there, and how that's incredibly courageous of them. 

Practice Gratitude

Actively identifying what you're thankful for is well known to boost well-being and mental health.

•  Here's a worksheet to help your students practice gratitude amidst hard times. 

• I'm grateful for my family because...
• Something good that happened this week...
• I am grateful for who I am because...

Solution-Focused Techniques

These techniques used in therapy and coaching can empower students and emphasize their potential & resources for change. 

There are 14 techniques that can be adapted to college counselling purpose as well. The article breaks down into: purpose, benefits, when to use it, how to use it, and examples. 

1. Problem-free talk
2. Strengths-based questions
3. Future perfect
4. Miracle questions
5. Scaling
6. Counter finding
7. Exception questions
8. Coping questions
9. Reframing questions
10. Externalization
11. Affirming and complementing
12. Feedback
13. Goal setting and action planning
14. EARS

How to help students cope with rejection

• Self-compassion is a really effective solution against the painful experience of rejection. Three components of self-compassion are:

• Self-kindness: ability to be warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer or feel inadequate

• Mindfulness:  ability to observe our own negative thoughts and emotions with openness and clarity.

• Connectedness:  awareness that these experiences are a normal part of being human

• Read more about it here! 

• And take a test here if you'd like 

• Here is a link to a 'rejection workshop' I made for my students to deliver once the university responses start rolling in, to soften the inevitable painful blow.

Deep Dive into Self-Compassion for Teens: Workbook

• An entire workbook on self-compassion for teenagers if you are really interested. 

Avoid comparison

• Let's battle perfectionism with the following psychoeducational worksheet. 

  • Learn about the distinction between perfectionism vs striving for excellence, challenges of perfectionism.