Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

When the third and fourth movies failed to fully entertain me, I thought this franchise was dead in the water. But apparently, dead franchises do tell more tales in the form of "Dead Men Tell No Tales". I'm glad I saw this new "Pirates of the Caribbean" for free because it likewise failed to entertain. Our beloved protagonist wasn't how we remember him nor was he altered to account for the passage of time. The movie's story had problems for the third time in a row and the verisimilitude of the first two films in the franchise wasn't reclaimed. It appears as though the filmmakers wanted to resurrect the glory of the original film by means of a few cameos and by introducing a new generation of characters but they fell far short.

Other iconic characters, such as those performed by Harrison Ford, still have their appeal after multiple movies and over a decade after their introduction on the big screen. The filmmakers however wanted to reset Jack Sparrow's circumstances back to what they were originally in 2003. However, we don't like Jack because he is down on his luck; we like him because he always is in trouble but gets out of it using luck. When the Rocky franchise reset their main character in "Rocky V" back to his origins, audiences did not approve. Subsequently, "Rocky Balboa" succeeded because the protagonist made some improvements since his last film but he is emotionally stuck in the past. In "Dead Men Tell No Tales", Jack is worse off I think than he was in "The Curse of the Black Pearl". That isn't something audiences want I believe after a six-year gap since the last film. We have a new generation of characters introduced in this sequel, one of which is Will and Elizabeth's son. Jack and Henry's meeting should have felt more significant seeing as how Jack has had associations with three generations of Turners. Instead, we seem to share Henry's disappointment. The scene might have been better if Henry had been the one behind bars when they met because then Jack would have had at least some pride. To summary my point, in the first movie, Norrington says that Jack is the worst pirate he's ever heard of to which Jack replies "But you have heard of me". These lines established Jack as infamous not because he was unsuccessful but rather for being unconventional. His state of affairs at the start of "Dead Men Tell No Tales" got things off on the wrong foot. I don't think I can place blame on Johnny Depp for this because he had his moments in this film. He appears to be acting out what the filmmakers planned out for his character.

The characters are this franchise's best quality but not only did the new characters fail in their duties but so did the story. Oscar-winner Javier Bardem's accent did prevent me from understanding a few things his character said. Coincidentally, he is Penelope Cruz's husband and I had troubles understanding her in the last movie. I was happy to see Marty make a return to the franchise and I didn't expect to see Scrum. Mullroy and Murtogg have made appearances in every odd-numbered movie in the franchise by the way. The character of Shansa had no purpose in the movie except as an obvious plot device to solve a few plot holes at the start of the film. Tia Dalma on the other hand belonged in "Dead Man's Chest" because she has a pre-existing relationship with Jack. She also shows up at the end of the second movie and contributes to the story in all her scenes. She felt part of the movie where Shansa felt completely out of place as a Deus ex machina. Many of the cameos in "Dead Men Tell No Tales" were spoiled for me. We may not have Keith Richards as Teague but another rock star plays Uncle Jack and that was pretty cool. Not only did the overall plot fail to entertain also the romantic subplot between Henry and Carina. The two actors lacked chemistry and they were not given enough screen time together for their love to convincingly bloom. Will and Elizabeth on the other hand had a pre-existing friendship for years prior to the events of the first movie. The subplot involving Carina's father however was one of the few noteworthy parts of the script. The flashback scene of young Jack Sparrow was cool but in my opinion, the character of Jack has become the stuff of folklore. As a result, he can't be given an origin story that he deserves unless you are going to take more time with it like with the opening of "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade". This scene also doesn't follow the mythology of the franchise because Tia Dalma gave Jack his compass as mentioned in "Dead Man's Chest". The political message found at start also was a distraction. Some franchises have stopped becoming fun it seems and like to preach instead. There is nothing wrong with a message as long as it is subtle like the ones Elizabeth Swann used to teach by just being herself.

When you look at the list of directors that were rumored to be in the running for making this sequel, many of them had the potential to produce a better film than what we got such as Sam Raimi ("Spider-Man"), Shawn Levy ("Night at the Museum") and Oscar-winning director Alfonso Cuaron ("Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban"). Original franchise director Gore Verbinski was even considered. I usually enjoy writer Jeff Nathanson's work but he failed to deliver this time. Apparently, Depp helped write the movie as well. "Dead Men Tell No Tales" was supposed to come out in 2015, which would have been only four years since "On Stranger Tides". However, the failure of "The Lone Ranger" (also staring Depp) delayed the making of this movie, as did problems with the script. I laugh at that because there still are problems with the script. This delay may have sealed the fate of the show. The characters were also lacking in "Dead Men Tell No Tales", even with Jack himself. Verbinski, Jerry Bruckheimer, Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio were able to effectively suspend our disbelieve with the first two cinematic installments but the filmmakers on this last movie seemed not to care. In trying to accomplish a soft reboot, the filmmakers actually produced something no better than the last film.

2.5 Stars out of 5