Oh... the things I have seen

I've worked in icy-cold, city-sized rooms, securing endless rows of servers. Seeing everybody's little secrets passing through mysterious algorithms conjured by the shadiest of agencies. Staying in my lane, thinking of my children and the prospect of exile... to an icy-cold country.

I've lived in a sweltering ghost town ghetto - where stop lights are optional - teaching rainbow-skeptical kids where to discover beetles. I've seen them dance and scream when they make contact... with the "little cockroaches".

I've stood up from a warm auditorium seat and waved thanks to the CEO of America's largest security firm. He's recognizing me as the "Hacker of the Year." A friend later tells me that - unlike the evening's previous recipients, I was supposed to walk up and shake his hand for the photo-op. I hadn't read that in the program. There was never a program.

I've slogged through a banquet sized barn shoveling out inches of steaming poop being launched from the butts of a hundred cows who waited impatiently for their udders to be vacuumed of milk, at three in the morning... morning after morning.

I've feasted in the Bacchanal Room with the owner of Caesar's Palace while enjoying a massage... avoiding advances from his daughter and maybe an invitation to lunch... with his lions.

I've watched the persuasive preacher in an echo chamber cathedral, shouting dramatically he's disconnecting Satan from suburban Americans. He paused from his ministry... to wink at me.