Sita's Story

I have almost given up on Rama coming to rescue me. I have been suffering under Ravana’s watch for what feels like an eternity. Then again, every moment spent away from Rama feels like an eternity.

The other night I dreamt that we were back home in our little hut in the woods. The birds were singing, and the morning smelled of fresh dew on the grass. We were lying there in each other's arms when suddenly Ravana crashed in and ripped me out of Rama’s arms…

I have had that dream many times now. I always wake up from it, and, for a split second, I am relieved that it was a dream. Then, I realize that the nightmare is my reality.

Every day I wake up to the garish sun of Lanka in my lavishly lonely room and pray to the goddess Bhavani that she will bless Rama and bring him home safely to me… so far I do not think she has heard me.

For the first several months that I was here, I wept bitterly every day for hours on end. I only stopped when sleep was kind enough to render me unconscious of my reality. Now, I have no more tears to cry. My heart has grown cold and the hope of Rama returning, which used to light the fire in my soul, dims more and more every day.

I suppose things are not quite as bad as they could be. There are many kind rakshasa women in the palace and most of Ravana’s wives are very pleasant. I know they see how miserable I am, and many of them try their best to lift my spirits by making pleasant conversation with me. Trijata is my favorite rakshasi. She is very wise and kind. Trijata's mother, Sarama, has also been a very good friend to me. They especially see how sad I am and always try to offer some word of encouragement to lift my spirits. Their attempts are in vain, but I always welcome the distraction and appreciate the efforts they make to comfort me.

The worst part of the day is when Ravana comes to visit me. Every inch of him repulses me, and every attempt to gain my affection makes me loathe him even more. Each day he tries a new tactic to win my hand. Some days it's lavish gifts, other days it's lustful poems, some days it's even him simply begging for my affection. I assure you, though, that there is nothing he could ever do to make me even come close to thinking of anyone other than Rama. He is nowhere near the man that Rama is, nor will he ever be. I have told Ravana repeatedly that I am Rama's wife and should he ever so much as come close to me I would have my maid build a fire for me to immolate myself right then and there. He knows I mean it, which is why he has never tried anything more.

As far as I can tell, the end to my loneliness is nowhere in sight. I will never let Ravana see how sad I really am. No matter how miserable I am, I will always pray for my husband’s safety and happiness…even if I never see him again.

Author’s Note: I based this off of the section of the Ramayana where Sita has been captured and is held captive in Ravana’s castle. While her sadness is discussed in the book, the reader never gets any insight as to what she is actually thinking during her days at Ravana’s palace. I especially wanted to highlight this feeling of loneliness that seems to pervade Sita’s existence after she is captured by Ravana. I thought it would be a good idea to portray this loneliness through the description of what a typical day is like for her at the palace.

The idea about her relationship with the rakshasas and the wives came from the scene when Ravana takes Sita to the top of the hill to show Sita the bodies of Rama and Lakshmana. Sita believes they are dead, but Trijata whispers to her, “Don’t lose heart, they are not dead." I thought this line implied some sort of friendship between the two as well as other potential female relationships within the palace.

Of course, I also wanted to discuss her faithfulness to Rama despite Ravana’s advances. I know this subject is brought into question later on in the epic, but I believe Sita was true to her word. I wanted her sincerity and loyalty to Rama to be clearly stated in my telling of her story.

Bibliography: The Indian Epics Retold: The Ramayana by R.K. Narayan, pages 95-188.

Wikipedia Page: Sarama

Public Domain Edition Ramayana: Sita