Kausalya's Story

Today is the darkest day of my life…I have just received news that my dearest, most beloved son, Rama, is going to be sent into exile for fourteen years. I cannot believe the events that have transpired over the past day. Just yesterday I was making preparations for my son to become King and for his beautiful wife, Sita, to become Queen. Together they would have reigned as the most beautiful and kindest couple the world had ever seen. Now, I fear, the world will never know such kindness.

How am I expected to survive these next years of my life without my Rama? He has been the light and joy of my life ever since the moment he came into being in my womb. I knew even before he was born, when I had a cosmic vision of him appearing before me as Vishnu in his universal form, that he would be special. (This universal form of Vishnu is a very special iconographical form of the god known as Vishvarupa. It is a very rare occurrence.) When he was born, I will never forget the glow that emanated from his tiny body. It was as if the gods had placed heaven's most beautiful stars in his heart and allowed each of them to shine through. I remember thinking that this baby would be the one that would save us from all of the evils of the world. As he grew up, I watched as he interacted with all of the people that encountered him. He treated each and every person with the most sincere kindness. No one could have ever imagined a more perfect being. I know that I say that as his mother, but ask anyone he knows and they would tell you the same thing. Well, almost anyone he knows would tell you the same thing…

All of this misery could have been avoided if it weren’t for the King’s favorite, her royal highness Queen Kaikeyi and that wretched maid of hers, Kooni. I should have seen straight through that beautiful head into her cold heart of stone. I must say, though, that I am not surprised. She has always been the King’s favorite. The man has never so much as questioned a single one of her requests… it should come as no surprise that he didn’t refuse this one. Yes, she saved his life, but now she is using the two boons he gave her in order to destroy not only Dasharatha’s life, but the fate of the entire kingdom. How selfish can she be? Of course, it does not help that her own son, Bharata, is not here to speak for himself ...

As much as I want to blame Kaikeyi for this whole doing, I cannot help but speculate that Kooni is really the mastermind behind such a dreaded fate. She has always had it out for Rama… yes, when he was little he mocked her for her deformity. (I must say, she is quite possibly the only person Rama has ever treated this way.) I suppose I should assume responsibility for part of her resentment. As his mother, I should have reprimanded him and told him to apologize to Kooni…however, at the time, I thought she would understand that Rama was a child and did not know any better.

Now, I must suffer an eternity of sorrow for my mistake. No matter how much I beg, Rama refuses to let me go with him, as it is my wifely duty to stay with my husband. I have spent all night meditating and the whole day performing ceremonies for Rama. I can only hope that my prayers will be answered and that I will live to see the day when Rama returns. Then, our kingdom will regain its rightful ruler and I will get to see the face of my perfect son once more.

Author’s note: This story is told from the perspective of Rama’s mother, Kaushalya. I really wanted to give Kaushalya more of a voice, especially on the topic of Rama’s exile. Her perspective on the matter is hardly discussed at all. I feel that, since she is Rama’s birth mother, she should absolutely have a voice in regards to Rama’s exile. I wanted to base the story off of what I imagined her emotions would be right after she received news of Rama’s exile, partly because this is the only time in the story that she is mentioned and partly because I imagine her feelings are particularly strong on the matter. Since she is not really discussed in the book, I concluded that Kaushalya is a strong woman and a wonderful mother but tends to be more soft spoken. That being said, I also imagine her to be incredibly perceptive about the people around her. With this in mind about her personality, I especially wanted to venture into her feelings toward Kaikeyi. I would venture to guess that there is quite a bit of unspoken contention between the two. I imagine she is a bit jealous of Kaikeyi, since Kaikeyi is the King’s favorite wife. It seems contradictory that Kaikeyi should be Dasharatha’s favorite wife, but Kaushalya raised his favorite son. I also thought it would be fascinating to explore her feelings towards Kooni. Since karma is prevalent throughout the Indian Epics, I thought it would be worth watching this concept through Kaushalya’s lack of actions about how Rama treated Kooni.

Bibliography: R.K. Narayan, The Indian Epics Retold: The Ramayana pp. 13-90

Valmiki's Sanskrit Ramayana, pp. 262-263, 276-284 .

Wikipedia Page: Vishvarupa