Tiring Followers
1 Because the Nomad and his disciples spread “propaganda”, they were exiled from Syria to the deepest parts of the Cascades. These messages challenged Pope Tyler’s laws and beliefs. After the Nomad ascended into heaven, his followers grew enfeebled from their snowy, cold, and bitter home in the numbing Cascades. 2 Many disciples wanted to conquer Syria and take Pope Tyler’s hold on Syria. Some were still more hesitant: “We need to leave eventually from this snowy wasteland!” 3 St. Tucker said with great concern, “No! We are fine here and we are not good enough to fight them.” St. Maia yelled.
4 “Quiet, quiet all of you! I am tired of your impertinence; have you not read the scriptures? 5 Your acquiescence to his word is inoperative! 6 For the Nomad said, “Blessed is he who speaks the truth in their own eyes but is kind in the eyes of the beholder so that thee who listens shall accede with thee who speaks[a].” For I tell you, obey yourself and others so they may obey you also.” St. Alvis aforementioned.
The disciples were astonished at his understanding of the holy doctrines. 7 St. Alvis was usually dismissed as a minor disciple, surprising almost everyone except St. Tucker and St. Parker, his closest friends. St. Maia was rather a bully and thought she was better than everyone. 8 So they talked and talked, and by majority vote, they would take back their land from the evil Pope Tyler!
[a]
Spies Listening
2 While the disciples were squabbling, a group of soldiers walking on a nearby path suddenly heard all this yelling, arguing, and plans to invade Syria. 2 The soldiers then rushed back to Syria to tell Pope Tyler. When they arrived three days later and told Pope Tyler, Pope Tyler was furious: 3 “We cannot allow these rebels to infiltrate our city! Send out the militia and destroy them! 4 Pope Tyler then sent a division of the army to attack the Nomad’s disciples.
Incoming Attack
3 Four days after Pope Tyler sent out the militia, they were closing in on the disciples. 2 St. Bryson was playing chess with St. Tucker and looked out of their stained glass window and saw many soldiers coming; “Tucker, look outside! There must be a thousand: no, tens of thousands of soldiers!” St. Bryson said. 3 “We need to evacuate! They must be coming from Pope Tyler; he wants to kill us!” St. Tucker responded. 4 “Why are you all screaming– what the devil‽” St. Christian screamed. “Run for the hills!” Everyone panicked, they ran out of the fort and scrambled. 5 But suddenly, a large, fiery, whirlwind was born from the sky and blocked the Syrian soldiers from attacking the disciples. 6 Then a loud voice from heaven said, “These are my people; my sons and daughters. What you do unto them I will do unto you.” 7 The disciples ran until they reached the Ararat town of Van and hid. 8 The townsfolk of Van were abhorrent adulterers, cultists, and sinners who despised the Nomad and his followers. 9 They endorsed the Cat-One and did many demonic practices.
Undercover Helpers
4 While the disciples of the Nomad were in Van hiding from the Syrian troops sent by Pope Tyler, the disciples were eating A5 Dogmeat for dinner in their kutcha house, 2 when a violent mob with evil intentions was trying to break down the front door of their house saying, “Let us in so we can kill you!” 3 The disciples were disgusted and they dashed out the door. 4 They ran till they could no more and ran into a camp of refugees who worshiped the Nomad. They met the camp leader Titus, who was from Macedonia. 5 Titus told them he was part of an undercover group called, ‘The Contestants’. They were a group of game show hosts that gathered homeless people and made them compete for food and water. 6 The disciples of the Nomad asked Titus for any food, water, medical supplies, or weapons, and Titus then recommended they fight in the games. St. Christian responded, “I would rather go back to eternal damnation than fight in your games!” 7 Titus then let them go to their headquarters in Bibracte for a price. St. Alex then gave Titus 15 bottles of Nomad Oil, the rarest oil, and the Stone of Skibidi. 8 Titus sold the oil for 70,000,000 Spanish doubloons, bought a ship, and sailed to Bibracte. 9 They got their supplies there and stole the Eiffel Tower, and dropped it off in southern Goiky.
Shipwrecked Survivors
5 As the disciples and followers were heading out of southern Goiky, the eyes of the Nomad withheld their sight, and the disciples were no longer protected. 2 They were caught up in a storm and they crashed in Yoyleland: most of them were injured and they all grumbled. 3 St. Tucker and St. Alex prayed to the Nomad and the Nomad heard them and said, “I have heard the suffering of my people and I will abet my people when they are troubled. 4 But, my people disobey me and sin against me. My people grumble when I feed them and carp when I quench them. 5 As Hierome saith: I shall put discipline where there is disobedience and truth where there are lies. You shall go to Yoyle Mountain and there I will give you my commandments.” 6 The other followers were told of this and they started their trek to Yoyle Mountain. 7 Twenty-seven days into the journey, the followers started to grumble. The Nomad heard this and he was enraged, he then cursed them to wander in the wilderness for one year and eat nothing but sourdough and crow, and drink nothing but brackish water.
The Twelve Commandments
6 When the followers arrived at Yoyle Mountain the normal followers were instructed to stay at the bottom of the mountain and the disciples were instructed to summit the mountain. 2 When the disciples reached the top, the Nomad unveiled his glorified form and wrote the law on two osmium tablets and gave them to the disciples. 3 The law was, “Thou shalt not steal, thou shalt not lust, thou shalt not blaspheme, thou shalt not have unrighteous anger, remember my sacrifice and honor it, thou shalt not murder, thou shalt not practice sorcery, thou shalt not use hurtful words in vain, thou shalt not commit adultery, thou shalt not worship idols, thou shalt not lie, and thou shalt not covet.” 4 As the disciples came down the mountain, they shared the law with the other followers and they all worshipped and praised the Nomad. 5 They then sailed back to the Persian Gulf and landed in Ras Al Khair.
Return to Arabia
7 After the disciples landed in Ras Al Khair, they set camp seventeen miles southeast of the city. 2 They then went and strategized about taking back Syria from the evil and tyrannical Pope Tyler. 3 They reached a consensus and they armed themselves with their weapons and set their course for Syria. 4 On their way, the followers of the Nomad grumbled and the Nomad didn’t like this. 5 The Nomad then sent pestilence, famine, and drought upon the followers. Hungry, the followers cursed the Nomad and the Nomad said unto his direct disciples, 6 “Cursed are they who here blaspheme against me! 7 You shall speak to and mentor those who disobey me so they may be fixed. But those who still curse me shall die where they stand and they burn forevermore.” 8 The disciples told the rest of the followers and they all repted. 9 The followers then arrived in the city of Moabed, a city close to where the remains of the land of burgers and the Apple mountains are[a].
[a]The Nomad destroyed the land of burgers and the apple mountains in Prayers of Jerish.
Incoming Attack
8 Soon after the followers arrived in Moabed, Pope Tyler was told of the Nomad’s followers gathering outside the city, potentially planning an invasion. 2 Pope Tyler then sent all of his soldiers to attack the disciples, leaving the city of Aleppo[a] undefended. 3 The Nomad heard this and he spoke to the disciples saying, “Pope Tyler is planning an assault on your camp and I shall not stand for it! You will go to Aleppo, where the city is left undefended, and there I will send the Archangel Queshet to assist you in destroying the city.” 4 The disciples heard this and prepared to advance.
[a]Aleppo is a city in modern-day Syria where Pope Tyler built his palace.
The Battle of Aleppo
9 As Pope Tyler’s army was advancing on the Nomad’s followers, the followers were spotted on their way to Aleppo. 2 They engaged in a skirmish where the disciples were losing until St. Dano called on the naval fleet of the Galactic Empire[a]. 3 Soon enough, many aircraft came from what seemed to be nowhere and launched many smaller aircraft. 4 Pope Tyler then called on the help of Edomite Mercenaries who vanquished the followers. 5 St. Dano then called Thrawn[b], his best buddy, and he sent a ship named The Tyrant and it bombarded the army of Pope Tyler. 6 The Archangel Queshet then appeared and destroyed the city walls and they began to take the city.
The Annexation of Syria
10 As the followers were annexing the city, Pope Tyler was in distress, “If they find me, they will shurly kill me!” 2 St. Tony then had the idea of raiding Pope Tyler’s palace and the other disciples loved this idea 3 and so they went to the Papal Palace and they took Tyler and locked him in an insane asylem. 4 The disciples then decreed that all must anoint the feet of the golden Nomad statue, of which they brought with them to Syria, and the people of Syria did so, and it is still a tradition around today.
The Feast of the Nomad
11 Soon after the disciples took Syria, the disciples had a great feast and their names were: 2 Andersen, Tucker, Bryson, Eggroll, Alex, Micah, Parker, Matthew, Christian, Dano, Jake of Corinth, Maia, Jake of Basra, Addison, (Wouldn’t St. Jackson have died a while ago?), Claire, Oakley, Dantes, (Finish Writing Later). 3 After the feast many departed, but some stuck together and they spread the word across the world.