Greetings
1 Greetings, and good times to you, disciples of Prussia. For I, Sir Tucker, write to you on behalf of the good Nomad. I have seen your flaws, and I implore you to take my advice and fix your mistakes.
Resist Temptations
2 Do not give in to the Cat-One's temptations! 2 The temporary happiness of the Cat-One's pleasures is meaningless, but the eternal gift of the Nomad is joy given by the Nomad's everlasting love. 3 You say you love the Nomad, but you commit heinous acts; for you claim to serve two masters, which is false. You can only love one master and hate the other, or hate one master and love the other. Therein, if you do not love the Nomad, you hate him, and if you hate him, he will not love you. 4 Therefore, prove you love the Nomad by doing his works and reject the Cat-One by resisting his temptations.
Use the Gift of Faith
3 You people know the Nomad, but you do not have faith in him, for your excuse is that the Nomad has not given you the ability to have faith. You may think that you are right, but this is false, for the Nomad has given faith to all people. 2 Faith is like a gift; you just refuse to open it and use it. 3 All you need is someone's help to open the gift; the person who will help you is the Nomad, and he will never give up helping you. 4 If you deny his help, you won't use his gift, then you won't have faith in the Nomad, and you will surely die.
Be Willing to Die for the Nomad
4 Be willing to die for the Nomad, for you trusted in him before, and he will provide after. 2 If you truly have faith in the Nomad, you would die for him, and you would then see death was defeated by the Nomad beforehand. 3 When faced with death and you deny the Nomad to avoid death, you will never see the kingdom of the Nomad because you clearly don't want to because you tried to avoid going to his kingdom. 4 When the Nomad sees you, he will deny you and send you to the place where the Nomad isn't.
Advice Against Parasitism
5 Listen to me, might you; for you are in great need of advice. Do not forsake each other for your benefit. 2 Put others before yourself, for the listener may put you above them someday. 3 Most of all, it is not for your future benefit, but for the benefit of others now. 4 For the Nomad once said, “I am a servant of mankind. Neither the lowest of lows nor the highest of highs will undermine my serviceability to man.” 5 Therefore, I say unto you, do not be selfish: be selfless.
Thou Shalt Not Covet
6 Do not covet what belongs to your brother, unless it's really cool[a], nor take from their plate under the guise of fellowship. 2 The Cat-One tempts you to fanum tax the fruits of another’s labor, claiming it is a small and meaningless theft, but greed in small things leads to wickedness in great things. 3 For the Nomad provides exactly what you require; a single portion of dog meat given in his name is greater than a mountain of cat meat[b]. 4 Be content with your portion, and let your heart be full of gratitude rather than your belly full of cat.
[a] Rescue of Jerish 12:8
[b] Dog meat represents the gifts of the Nomad, and the cat meat representing the stolen gifts of others.