The Merchant
Volume 1 Issue 4
Non curamus quid de nobis sentias.
FEBRUARY 2023
Christos Dimas '25, Matt Malloy '25
What's the real reason behind Grant Best's incredible abilities on the court? More practice? A new girlfriend? ... A new tan? Read more...
James McCormac '25
Dean O'Connor starts a brand new class open to freshman, sophomores, juniors, and seniors. Read more...
Mr. Dominic Scheuring, Guest Faculty Columnist
I don't like the freshmen, but does anybody, really? I figure that we can just get rid of them. Who needs them anyway? Read more...
Mount Carmel adds historic fourth floor to main building
Andrew Stanislawski '25
Breaking news hits the Caravan as Mt. Carmel president Mr. Brendan Conroy announced an addition to the main building. Read more...
Marty Wilmes '25
After a demand for after school snacks, administration has come through with a new Chipotle in the student center. Read more...
Students from every grade level are starting to take the Robotics club a bit more seriously as they develop a new game-changing technology. Read more...
Other News
MR. NOLAN NEVRLY SPOTTED WEARING MR. BROOKS NEVRLY'S HONORARY GREEN JACKET
AIR FORCE SHOOTS DOWN MC MANDARIN CLASS NEW YEAR BALLOON
ST. RITA'S SATIRICAL NEWSPAPER FOUND TO BE WRITTEN BY CHATGPT
CLASSES ON HOLD AS STUDENTS, FACULTY CONTINUE SEARCH FOR ZANDER GORMAN'S LOST KICKS