Curses

Time to hit the Jukebox again! Give this ancient Egyptian hit a listen as you discover how curses came to be.

Following the discovery of the ability to bring the dead to life, Ra understood the magic that could be unlocked in this place. He knew the magicians, along with his divine power, could create magic that could change the course of history.

Ancient Egypt had always seen its foes, but none yet quite like the Hyksos. The Hyksos were a Canaanite tribe and they wanted nothing more than the total destruction of Egypt.

Ra knew of the threat of the Hyksos, and knew the Egyptians were not prepared to defend themselves against the mighty tribe. This was an issue he discussed frequently with the magicians who made his food every morning at Waffle House. The magicians never had an answer for the Sun god.

One day, it became too late. The Hyksos invaded Egypt and attacked Memphis, the current capital at the time of the raid. Thousands of Egyptians fled to Thebes, and Ra knew that something powerful needed to be done.

Ra first consulted with the god associated with protection, Horus. He invited Horus into his sacred temple in the ancient Waffle House. Horus explained to Ra that his powers were not strong enough to combat the oncoming Hyksos army. He needed more magic to be bestowed upon himself as well as the Egyptian army. Together, Ra and Horus sat at the countertop in the Waffle House, and decided to figure out a plan to defeat the enemy.

As the two sat there, Ra knew he needed to unlock new magic in the Waffle House. This was Horus’ first time coming to this sanctuary, and he knew very little of the power that it held.

Ra knew from the hieroglyphics on the wall that dark magic existed within the Waffle House the same way that good magic did. The two eventually decided they needed to find a way to directly cause harm to the Hyksos army. Horus brought up the suggestion that if the food was magical, perhaps they could utilize it to have an effect on the army.

Ra then invited Geb, god of the earth, and commanded him to take stone from the earth and cast a special waffle iron with the name “Hyksos” engraved into it. Geb quickly did what he was told, and brought it back to the magicians to make the waffles.

Ra told the magicians to use the finest Egyptian emmer wheat to make these waffles. As they made the batter, Horus asked Ra, “Great Ra, how are we going to defeat an army with breakfast food?”

Ra replied simply, “Horus, we eat it, and the magical food does the rest.”

By engraving the “Hyksos” name into the waffle, and then eating it, Ra believed this would unlock a special force of evil power upon the powerful army.

As the magicians brought the completed waffles over, the two added chocolate chips for added magic.

They both ate their waffles and both Ra and Horus felt a strange sensation come over them. This sensation was the ability to bestow curses. They both felt their eyes being opened to secret hieroglyphics on the walls, in which different curses were written. These curses, such as curses of disease and destruction, were then performed against the Hyksos army.

The Hyksos army quickly began to deteriorate, and the Egyptian army moved back in with more power than ever. After days of fighting, the Egyptians were able to reclaim the land they had lost.

Curses became very important in Egyptian magic after Ra and Horus discovered them. Horus shared the curses with magicians, who then proceeded to inscribe clay pots or tablets with names of Egyptian enemies.

This Waffle House had unlocked the ability to bring the dead to life and the ability to curse the enemies of Egypt. Soon would be perhaps the most important experience of Ra in Waffle House, where he would prepare to battle the ultimate god of evil, the serpent Apep.

The waffle iron that was cast with "Hyksos" in it. Salter The waffle that Ra and Horus ate to create curses. Alamy