Tactical Empathy

Never Split the Difference: Techniques in Tactical Empathy

In his excellent TEDx Talk, author and former hostage negotiator Chris Voss defines tactical empathy as describing, demonstrating, & understanding the needs, interest, & perspectives of your counterpart without necessarily agreeing.

A big takeaway from the talk is his statement that people make decisions based on what they care about, which makes decision making an emotional process. I consider myself to make a lot of my decisions based on emotions, and couldn't agree with him more.

Additionally, Voss provides 6 listening skills that demonstrate tactical empathy:

1. Effective pauses

2. Minimal encouragers

3. Mirroring

4. Labeling

5. Paraphrasing

6. Summarizing (How Communication Works, 2018).

The accompanying video below (right) by How Communication Works outlines these practices in further detail.

This is a topic that I will carry with me for the rest of my life! I find myself more aware of how I practice reflective listening in all conversations I have, academic, professional, or even personal. Previously, I was adept at using minimal encouragers while listening to others and I generally will paraphrase what others say to me to not only help me understand what they're saying, but to show the other person that I'm listening. Two tactics I will try to practice more is using effective pauses and labeling.

Tactical Empathy in Action