big Billy burger Joint

It was one of those Charleston days—the kind where the sun is shining, the shorts come out, and you remember exactly why you packed up your life and moved south. A perfect day for some after-Christmas bargain hunting at the outlets. All that walking, weaving, and deal-grabbing worked up a serious appetite.

Enter: Big Billy’s Burger Bar.

Naturally, the Bacon X3 Burger was the chosen victim.

✨Appearance – 4 pts

When this burger hit the table, hope was alive and well. Bacon? Plenty of it. Cheese? Ooey, gooey, and melty. Visually, it was doing everything right and had me leaning forward in my chair with excitement.

🥯Bun – 6 pts

A standard white bun showed up and did exactly what it was hired to do: hold everything together until the final bite. No collapse, no drama—but also no personality. Just vibes of “I’m here to help.”

🥩Meat – 24 pts

Oh, how I wanted this to be great. I ordered medium. What I got was well done with a capital W. No pink, no juiciness—just gray sadness. The patty was dry and oddly salty, yet somehow completely lacking flavor. If it weren’t for the bacon stepping in like a superhero, this burger would have been straight-up miserable.

🧀Cheese – 10 pts

Cheddar was the order, and yes, it arrived melted and looking legit. Unfortunately, it tasted like… nothing. So much nothing that I actually lifted the bun to confirm it was still there. It was. Barely.

🥬Veggies – 10 pts

Classic lineup: lettuce, tomato, pickle. The pickles stole the show—crispy, punchy, and the first thing to disappear. Lettuce had a satisfying crunch. The tomato showed up with a little juice and flavor, but nothing to write home about.

💧Dressing – 8 pts

The Bacon Mayo was the MVP. Flavorful, smoky, and actually boosted the bacon instead of competing with it. Easily the best thing happening between the buns.

🧻Messiness – 2 pts

This burger was far too dry to cause any chaos. The sauce was properly portioned, the tomato behaved itself, and I walked away needing exactly one paper towel. A clean exit.

🍔Burgerness – 6 pts

Yes, it technically qualified as a burger: meat, cheese, bacon, bun. But it lacked soul. A dry, overcooked patty doesn’t spark joy—or appetite.

Final Score: 70 Patty Points

This burger had no magic. The over-salted, overcooked meat dragged everything down, which was especially disappointing given how promising it looked on arrival. I want to believe this was just an off day… so a return visit might be in order—purely in the name of burger science. 🍔