Queer Romance

Anonymous suggested this topic. The topic was: What are your thoughts on queer romance and its tropes? 

That's really interesting. I have a lot of thoughts that I will enjoy going over in this blog. Hope you enjoy, Anonymous!

Homosexuality has been prevalent in literature for centuries. There is the origin of the word lesbian stemming from the island of Lesbos that Sapphos came from, who was known to be a homosexual poet and writer. Sapphos is in fact the origin of the word sapphic.¹ However, I have some qualms about the way queerness is expressed in literature in modern times. Much of queer literature tends to be centred on 2 male characters. Even with expansion in acceptance, we limit ourselves in our literature with race and gender. I personally liked reading this one book: The Weight of the Stars. It is a book regarding 2 girls. It was a captivating read for me, and I still remember reading it regardless of doing so 4 years ago. This is something I would love to seem more of. My friend would personally get this anecdote, but I need more doomed/toxic yuri! So much of the literature I get recommended is mlm. Red, White, and Royal Blue, Song of Achilles, and Call Me By Your Name are some examples. I have yet to read any of them, but they are widely proclaimed (likely for good reason). When I searched up gay literature recommendations, my results were “Queer mlm books you have to read” and “Underrated and popular m/m books that are perfect for spooky season” were in my top 5 results. However, in different pocket spaces of literature, the reverse may be true. On the SCP foundation wiki, wlw seems to be more prevalent compared to mlm. Perhaps it would be best to bring some of those smaller spaces of fandoms into mainstream media. 

Another issue I have is the need for sex to always be in this genre of literature. I don't understand what is wrong with enjoying an amazing book of romance without the need to take off the clothes. Lately, people have been rating books based on their spice rating, spice relating to how sexual it is. I, as an asexual, feel alienated from the need to associate sex with every piece of literature. Sex is a healthy, normal part of life, but if you take it to the point of basing if you would read a book off of it, that is strange. I would like to be able to read a cute or tragic romance that spans over a series without having a sexual act happen every 5 chapters or so. It makes it impossible to read and grasp a coherent storyline. This is more of a literary pet peeve. It does not fall just under the genre of queer romance, but it is a recurring trend in queer romance. 

Additionally, another thing I dislike about queer literature is how people are so used to heteronormativity (that means that heterosexuality is the norm or default) that they try to make queerness into their idea of straight norms. We see this in how people are shamed for being the bottom in a relationship, often because of heteronormativity, and they are in ‘the girl’ position. They see that there is a ‘man’ in the relationship within wlw relationships because they are pushing the ideas of gender roles and labels on these not-cis-het relationships. (This is a connection back to my Gender Identity post.)² This is a trope that we see in queer romances to make there be ‘a man’ and ‘the woman’. It is a trope that I despise. 

On the topic of tropes, gay romance tropes are interesting because I feel there is much overlap from literary romance tropes in general. One thing I love to read is angst so when it's a tragic tearing apart of the couple, I am happy. However, I did have a discussion with someone that was interesting. They said that there is a trope—we all know it and we all hate it—of a gay couple, but one of them gets killed off in popular media. This is commonly used because the relationship shows diversity, and since they fulfilled having that diversity slot, the person gets killed off. The person I was conversing with said we do the same thing and kill off our characters as well with doomed yuri/yaoi trope. However, I feel that these instances are different because, for one, when it is done properly, it is a way to introduce a new thematic and emotional experience. It works compared to wanting to get rid of the diversity. That is one trope of doomed queer relationships that I know is specific to queer literature. But another is toxic queer relationships. A friend and I discussed this, but toxic mlm relationships are portrayed more than wlw. Women can be just as toxic and terrible human beings as men but aren't shown as much as men in literature because of how society has portrayed women as nurturers. In the toxic wlw relationships I have read, one of them was always in a nurturer/subservient role to the other. This is seen with how women are seen as nurturers compared to men, who are depicted as aggressive and dangerous because of toxic masculinity.² Look at the previous post if you would like to see me talk about gender and how society pushes gender roles on people. I started this post first but ended up finishing that because of how much I needed to say on gender.

Furthermore, some queer tropes that I have found on a website³, I will now talk about with my opinions. “First time gay” or when a main character finds out that they're gay for the first time. I'm mixed about this trope because if it is executed well, it is beautiful and is wonderful in showing the reader the realities of discovering your identity. However, if not done well, it's harmful to the queer community. Oftentimes, this reinforces the stereotypes that come with the queer community. That also falls under the “gay for you” trope. I just don't like it. It's terrible in the sense that it doesn't make sense to be gay for someone, but you're straight for everyone else. Does that mean you don't view that person as their gender? It means you probably are queer just with a heavy preference for the opposite sex. Personally, as a biromantic, I get falling for someone no matter their gender. A cishet (cisgender heterosexual) woman would not fall for another woman because she feels no attraction towards them; if she did and was in a relationship with another woman, it would not make sense to say she is only attracted to men. HOWEVER, this is not pressure to change the labels that you are using. If you, the individual, do not feel comfortable with labels or using the specific labels that exist, that's perfectly fine. You go with what you're comfortable with. This is specific to literature. Maybe you can express this same plight in your media rather than just slapping on the “I'm gay only for you" trope. That would make your characters more complex and interesting to the reader. It endears the reader to the characters if they also have the same issue and makes them seem more realistic.  

There are many more tropes that I dislike or even hate but that would go on for too long and be too much negativity so moving onto tropes that I love, specifically when they are queer. I like the immortal and mortal trope but in a sense of it being doomed. I like it when the mortal is aware that they would be the one to die and this otherworldly being will outlive them forever and possibly even move on quickly after their death. But the truth is that the immortal is sacrificing themselves for the mortal and will be the one to die first. Especially if it's one of those guardian angel and human tropes. One thing I don't like about this trope is when they make it strange with it being paedophilia or preying on the mortal for a long time. Perhaps the immortal is way older than them. That is not fun for me but it is for some other people. Another trope is the sacrifice trope, which may have been hinted at a moment ago. Sacrificing yourself for someone is so complex. As an avid reader of 전지적 독자 시점 by 싱숑 [Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint by Shing-Shong], the authours explore this theme of self-sacrificing yourself since the main character, 김독자 [Kim Dokja], does so often. It is even said in the novel “김독자의 구원은 잔혹하다. 칼끝으로 물에 빠진 사람을 구하는 것처럼, 그에게 구명 받은  사람은 돌이킬 수 없는 상처를 입는다” [Kim Dok-Ja's salvation was cruel. Like rescuing a drowning person with a blade, those saved by him were inflicted an unhealable wound] (싱숑 Chapter 448)⁴. Sacrifice is leaving behind those around you to be left in the loss of you. You sacrifice yourself to better their lives but by doing so, they also get harmed. It's a beautiful trope that, when applied to queer romance, hits me like a sucker punch. 

Speaking of tragicness, queerness itself feels tragic because of discrimination and homophobia, so sometimes we want to feel good. A feel-good trope that I like to read is slow burn. Slow burn is nice because of how long it takes for the characters to accept that they actually like each other but after they do, they can just bask in the feelings of romance (I do not like the miscommunication trope. At. ALL. These sometimes go hand in hand and use the miscommunication trope to prolong the slow burn. That is not preferable to me.) I like slow burn but more of knowing you like this person and mutually pinning after each other. You may not be anything yet, but that is the person you like, and they know it; so, you are just spending time together, not as anything together but just enjoying each other. 

Thank you so much for tuning in! If there's anything interesting you find and want me to speak about, let me know.