25 Transgender Myths

Transgender people face many myths created primarily by people that choose to discriminate against them. This list is not complete but does address many of the myths transgender people face. Some of the myths are also self-propagated by transgender people themselves, such as #21 and #25.

The goal of presenting this list is to spread knowledge and foster discussion. This was written as a presentation, so pardon the flow feeling like a Power Point.

Each myth in this article has four elements as follows:

1. the myth in the title,

2. the reality in a paragraph,

3. a link with information about the reality, and

4. my personal experience with the myth.

Myth #1: Transgender people have a mental disorder.

Reality: Transgender people are not born with a mental illness. Some develop gender dysphoria, which is not considered a mental disorder by the APA and WHO but a medical condition resulting from the enormous stress and anxiety caused mainly by unaccepting segments of society and family. The APA explained it stopped using the term “gender identity disorder” in favor of “gender dysphoria" to remove the stigma the patient is ‘disordered.’ Transgender people are susceptible to getting a mental illness such as PTSD and various forms of depression due to mainly discrimination and lack of acceptance.

https://www.vox.com/identities/2016/5/13/17938120/transgender-people-mental-illness-health-care

Personal Experience: When I was “outed” as transgender by my wife in 2011, several friends, school officials, and my family questioned my mental health. While no one asked for a mental health evaluation for my wife I had to undergo evaluations by a slew of professionals of which any could have destroyed my legal right to continue as an active parent to my children. Here is a list of the horror I faced:

1. Evaluation by a St. Anthony’s Hospital professionals,

2. Evaluation by a transgender therapist,

3. Evaluation by my general practitioner doctor,

4. Evaluation by our marriage counselor,

5. Indirect Evaluation by a court appointed therapist for my children,

6. Indirect Evaluation by a court appointed guardian ad litem attorney,

7. Indirect Evaluation by my kid’s elementary school principal

Myth #2: Sexual orientation is linked to gender identity

Reality: Sexual orientation is independent of gender identity. This does not discount that some people have fluid sexual identities so you may know of a transgender person that seemed to flip in their sexuality after gender affirmation.

https://www.vox.com/identities/2016/5/13/17938096/transgender-people-sexual-orientation-gender-identity

Personal Experience: Attraction is something you just innately know. At 14 I had a crush on a girl named Amy, then a girl named Robin, then Heather, and so on. On my part, I am only attracted to women. Even today I struggle with putting a label on my attraction. Does it make me a lesbian? For some people, yes. I just prefer to say, "I am only attracted to women."

Myth #3: Transpeople pose a sexual assault danger in bathrooms.

Reality: There has never been an arrest of a therapist verified transgender person sexually assaulting anyone in a public bathroom that corresponds with their identity.

https://www.vox.com/identities/2016/5/13/17938102/transgender-people-bathrooms-locker-rooms-schools

Personal Experience: I've had two incidences where someone got angry at me for using the bathroom. First was at a rural bar in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. I was alone so no big deal for me. I just walked away. The second in the heavily religious town of Ardmore, Oklahoma was awful. I was confronted by a man who blocked my way into the restroom. My family was present, including my parents. The damage done was more to my family than to me. After that they had fear of being with me so much I was disinvited to weddings and other events by my own family lest someone else cause a scene!

Myth #4: A “Sex Change” is required to be transgender.

Reality: No one "changes" sex. Transpeople "gender affirm." Almost all do some form of pharmaceutical medical affirmation with Hormone Replacement Therapy. For some, gender affirmation includes body modifications to better fit into society and relieve their gender dysphoria. Not all transgender people want or can afford surgeries. Only about 33% have a surgery.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.vox.com/platform/amp/identities/2016/5/13/17938114/transgender-people-transitioning-surgery-medical

Personal Experience: I take estrogen hormone injections but do not plan on ever having a surgery.

Myth #5: Transgender kids do not know their gender until puberty.

Reality: All people understand their innate, brain driven gender by about age 3. Cisgender people have alignment with their gender identity and sexual anatomy which allows them to not consider their gender. A transgender child in contrast also knows their gender but family and friends often do not recognize they are transgender, especially in families where the gender binary is heavily pushed on a child. A 3-year-old kid loves his family and learns to conform fairly quickly to who they want them to be.

https://www.vox.com/identities/2016/5/13/17938118/transgender-children-transitioning-parenting

Personal Experience: I knew at age 3 I was transgender in a time of no internet or books on the subject, so I had no word for it until age 9 when I learned about it on the radio my mom was listening to while cooking. I came up with Stephani at age 6 in the silence of my own room as a derivation of Stephen. I learned very young that boys had to act certain ways or be admonished by adults and even friends. Later in life I attended a Transgender Support Group and someone asked how old each person was when they knew they were not the gender assigned at birth. With 30 people in attendance, almost everyone said age 3-5 years old.

Myth #6: Transgender children receive irreversible sex changes.

Reality : Transgender children do not receive Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) until they are 16 and don’t get hormone blockers until they are at or very close to puberty. Any medication is only given after standards have been met for therapist monitoring to ensure their identity is persistent over several years. Even then they can stop HRT and develop as cisgender. No child gets surgeries before adulthood. The Endocrine Society states, "We suggest that clinicians delay gender-affirming genital surgery involving gonadectomy and/or hysterectomy until the patient is at least 18 years old or legal age of majority in his or her country." For a transwoman, a bottom surgery cannot even be considered until adulthood (think about it?). Guidelines from the Endocrine Society endorse transgender hormone treatment but say it should not be given before puberty begins. At that point, the guidelines recommend only puberty-blocking drugs until age 16 (no estrogen or testosterone).

https://www.endocrine.org/guidelines-and-clinical-practice/clinical-practice-guidelines/gender-dysphoria-gender-incongruence

Personal Experience: Although children do not undergo surgeries by the medical community, parents need to be aware that if they force their child into a gender they are not born as then their child may self-harm themselves. This can occur via mutilation in some way and worse with suicide. In my case, I considered self-harm via mutilation. At age 15, I took a sharp sharp knife into a locked restroom and considered self surgery so male puberty would stop. I had needle and thread, towels, and rubbing alcohol. (I learned later the surgery is called an orchiectomy.)

Myth #7: Transgender ideology is being pushed to convert children.

Reality: No, it not an ideology. When every legitimate medical association in the world that works with transgender people have come to basically the same conclusions, that is not an ideology. The AMA, APA, AAP, and WHO agree regarding the proper care and treatment of transgender people. However, an ideology does exist with fringe religious based organizations such as the Family Research Council or American College of Pediatrics (paltry 500 members!) that declare the legitimate organizations with hundreds of thousands of doctors are illegitimate.

https://transcendlegal.org/medical-organization-statements

Personal Experience: No one I know is trying to convert anyone! Speak to any trans person and they have told me at least that “I would not wish being trans for any child?” Why? Not because being trans is bad in and of itself, but because you are sentenced to a lifetime of discrimination.

Myth #8: Transgender-inclusive health care for the military is expensive.

Reality: Out of 12,800 transgender service members eligible for medical care, approximately 188 service members utilize surgical gender affirmation related care per year estimated at $438 per transgender service member yearly.

https://publicpolicy.wharton.upenn.edu/live/news/2479-cost-analysis-of-transgender-healthcare-in-the

Personal Experience: with insurance the medications are as low about a dollar a day. Any surgery is expensive, but only about 33% of transpeople get surgeries and it is far more rare to get them when in the military.

Myth #9: The Bible and Jesus declared being transgender as a sin.

Reality: There are no verses in the Bible about transgender people, and certainly none with Jesus making a statement about transgender people. There are verses about physical sex and gender roles and those are often cited by folks trying to argue that transgender people are abominations to God's design for men and women.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/what-does-the-bible-teach-about-transgender-people

Personal Experience: After my decision at the age of 15 where I considered self-harm and chose to live as a man, I committed heavily in becoming a Christian in hopes that God might be able to help me suppress my being transgender. This is a common approach by transgender people. I started and led Bible Studies in Norman, Oklahoma. My recall is I helped 32 people find and accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. I was so engaged in discipleship I even put a tape cross on the back of football helmet. Unfortunately, religion is not a cure for being transgender any more than we can change the stripes on a zebra.

Myth #10: Transgender people make up a third gender.

Reality: Most transgender people explicitly identify as male or female. They aren’t part of a third gender — they are, by all intents and purposes, men and women. There are other variations of people that do not identify as either male or female, usually referred to as gender nonconforming or genderqueer.

https://www.vox.com/identities/2016/5/13/17938128/transgender-people-third-gender

Personal Experience: I have no real-life experience on this topic.

Myth #11: Transgender Conversion Therapy works!

Reality #11: There is no way to convert a person from one gender identity to another any more than one can change the color of their skin (other than tanning) or their sexual preference. Many states have banned conversion therapy due to its abusive outcomes.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._jurisdictions_banning_conversion_therapy#Counties,_municipalities_and_communities

Personal Experience: I am no slouch when it comes to research. I have 65+ publications. I studied and followed the literature on transgender issues since 1988, over 30 years ago. The goal for the first 22 years of that research was to find a “cure” to being transgender. I combed through medical journals, books, and online blogs looking for that “cure.” A “cure” does not exist. Transgender people are born transgender and cannot be “cured” or “converted” to being cisgender. Let my efforts be a testimony to this fact

Myth #12: Increases in transgender people is due to trends.

Reality: Not all transgender people decide to gender affirm. This is confirmed by reported numbers of transgender people increasing over time and not the opposite conclusion anti-transgender pundits make that the increase is due to societal breakdowns. The increase is due more transgender people being comfortable enough to reveal who they are to a world that had been largely discriminating. Also deciding to not gender affirm does not make one less transgender. If you are born transgender, then you are always transgender no matter how you present in society. Most transgender people took knowledge of themselves as trans to their deathbed until the last 50 years.

https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2019/04/02/percentage-us-population-transgender-statistics/

Personal Experience: Increases are due to transgender people coming out of the closet as society has is becoming a safer place to be transgender. What compassionate people should conclude in my opinion is that it is sad so many transpeople always had to hide and the trend upwards is a positive development, not a trend based on it being a fad.

Myth #13: Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria (ROGD) is real.

Reality: You cannot socially influence someone to become transgender. Transgender people are born transgender. The clear implication of the author of ROGD is that said peers and social media are somehow causing or contributing to the growth in trans-identification of mainly teens. The research published out of Brown University supporting this ROGD myth was not vetted by other academics enough to identify the obvious flaws in how the data was accumulated.

https://medium.com/@juliaserano/everything-you-need-to-know-about-rapid-onset-gender-dysphoria-1940b8afdeba

Personal Experience: Luckily follow-on research by legitimate sources has made this myth largely go away. I am seeing it less. That said, people who want to hate will continue to reference the theory.

Myth #14: ACPeds and the FRC are legitimate sources for transgender facts.

Reality: Organizations such as the American College of Pediatricians (ACPeds) backed by doctors such Cretella and McHugh and the Family Research Council (FRC) which Tony Perkins is head of present biased conclusions against transgender people. The Southern Poverty Law Center lists these groups as religiously biased hate groups. The ACPeds for example, refuses to publish their membership roster. The ACPeds is believed to be less than 500 members and maybe as low as 200. In contrast, the legitimate and affirming AAP or American Association of Pediatrics has over 65,000 doctors.

https://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/extremist-files/group/american-college-pediatricians

Personal Experience: I have spent far too many hours of my life explaining to people about fake medical associations and right-wing hate groups. I hope someday that will no longer be needed and they will simply go away.

Myth #15: Transgender participation will ruin women's sports.

Reality: Until Lia Thomas won one race, 78 cumulative years of competition had passed with no elite championship wins.

As of 2022….

Transwomen have been allowed to compete to compete: 19 years in Olympics, 13 years in NCAA, and 46 years in US Open Tennis.

During that time about 3,000,000 women competed. If trans are 1% that would be 30,000. Can you name 5?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender_people_in_sports

Personal Experience: I know in my case; the strength loss has been massive with hormone therapy. I have trouble opening some bags of chips these days. My old male athleticism and strength are gone, replaced by a female endocrine system hormonally that I feel much more myself … so it is all good.

Myth #16: It is illegal for a transwoman to go into a women’s restroom.

Reality: There are almost no active laws banning transpeople from entering a bathroom of their gender identity anywhere in the United States. Not even in South Carolina. A private business or religious organization can specify a policy banning transpeople, but once they do, they face scrutiny from society at large and usually drop the discriminating policy.

https://ballotpedia.org/Transgender_bathroom_access_laws_in_the_United_States

Personal Experience: I have only had someone complain about me entering a bathroom twice since 2011. So, in addition to it not being illegal, it is a non-issue in my experience that is conflated by false memes and narratives that transpeople are making women unsafe and uncomfortable in restrooms.

Myth #17: Dressing in the opposite gender’s clothing is illegal.

Reality: There are no active laws left against men dressing in women's clothing and women dressing in men's clothing. One of the last laws was ironically in a New York where a man could be arrested for “impersonating a female” as recently as 2011 — the remnants of a 19th century statewide law prohibiting wearing “the dress of the opposite sex.” But that law had not been enforced for decades and was finally removed as ridiculous given how society has evolved.

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/nation/arresting-dress-timeline-anti-cross-dressing-laws-u-s

Personal Experience: When I was younger, in the 1990s and early 2000s, my gender dysphoria would peak while at work while presenting as a male. For my lunch hour, I would often go shopping at a major department store where I knew the dressing rooms were not staffed. I would pick out some women’s clothes, go to the dressing room and try them on. This relieved my gender dysphoria temporarily. Sometimes I would just sit in a dress or cute outfit for a few extra minutes in the dressing room and regain my composure as it felt wonderful to be the real me. I ended up buying a lot of clothes over those years.

Myth #18: Police must investigate a transperson reported in a public space.

Reality: Unfortunately, many police departments have responded and investigated calls for investigating a transgender person merely existing in public spaces. However, the proper response is to ask if the transgender person is doing anything illegal and if not explain to the caller that no investigation is warranted. This is the approach dispatchers take for someone reporting a black person doing something legal like walking through a park. Police departments still need better training on transgender people.

https://transequality.org/issues/resources/failing-to-protect-and-serve-police-department-policies-towards-transgender-people

Personal Experience: I have had two horrifying experiences of having the police called on me for being transgender. BOTH were knowingly false and done to harass me as a trans person.

First, I was reported as a “Man in a dress that was stalking children by taking photos of them.” at an Annual 4^th of July Fireworks Event for the City of Norman in Oklahoma. The police tracked me down in the park amongst thousands of people due to my yellow bike I was reported as riding. They apologized immediately, but said they had to follow up on any report of potential pedophiles stalking children. I let them look through my pictures, none of which were of children. They let me go. But another time with a different pair of police officers it all might have ended quite differently.

The second incident was worse. A hate group in Scotland maintains a list of transgender activists and I made the list. I only know about it because I created a fake profile to infiltrate the TERF group after receiving emails claiming I was a pedophile and out to hurt women. Why did I receive the emails? They were intended for my employer. I was my employer! So they emailed me. Their goal it appears is to get trans people fired by making up accusations. It does work. Many companies will fire a trans person with a false accusation simply because they want to not have any controversy. It is that group that keeps me from publishing my contact information and employers.

Myth #19: Feminists are for banning transwomen from women's spaces.

Reality: There has been a recent rise in the press regarding Transgender Exclusionary Radical Feminists or TERFs. However, estimates show the TERF movement is not growing but dying out as more and more women only events are including transwomen as women.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/TERF

Personal Experience: I was asked to be President of a 800 strong lesbian group called Lclub in Oklahoma. All of them were feminists from what I could tell. The grapevine told me of only two women that felt I did not belong in the group. Based on my experience 2 / 800 is a pretty insignificant percentage!

Myth #20: People that do drag, cross-dress or are transvestites are transgender.

Reality: The definitions of transgender have evolved. Fifteen years ago or so, there were many publications that grouped transwomen, called transsexuals at the time, with drag queens, transvestites, and cross-dressers. The Transgender Umbrella was the common term for this odd grouping. Under the Transgender Umbrella, only transsexual (i.e. transgender today) people identified with the opposite gender of their birth anatomy. Today, the medical community clearly does not include male brained folks in their definition of “transgender.” The needed separation is here to stay.

https://www.vox.com/identities/2016/5/13/17938130/transgender-people-drag-queens-kings

Personal Experience: Even some of my best friends assume drag and transgender people are somehow interlinked. I frequently get invited to drag shows under the assumption that it is something transwomen love to see. Reality is I avoid drag shows because of a variety of reasons: 1. Men hit on me at them, 2. Cisgender women are more uncomfortable with me in a restroom because they know there are men in dresses at the event, 3. Much of the discrimination transgender women face is fostered by the press and hate organizations representing drag queens as typical of transgender women.

Myth #21: Odds are nearly impossible for transgender people to find love.

Reality: The percentage of people that will date a transgender person is low according to surveys but that does not mean dating and relationship odds are equivalent! Consider a transwoman that dates women... effectively a lesbian. If you go by survey data available only 1.5% of single women would date her since lesbian women account for roughly 5% of the female population and only 30% of lesbian women would date a transwoman. However, no one will ever meet the vast numbers of people in their own dating pool. But they do meet people within their dating pool with common interests due to events and other day to day life choices. The actual drop-off in dating prospects is nearly negligible for a person that affirms as a translesbian as-long-as that person engages with people in public spaces with common interests.

https://www.them.us/story/cis-trans-dating

Personal Experience: My own personal dating life as a single person increased in the number of women wanting to go on dates with me after my gender affirmation. There are probably many reasons why that has been the case, but the point is the fear of “I will never find love” is unfounded.

Myth #22: Transgender people did not exist prior to the sexual revolution.

Reality: Sumerian and Akkadian texts from 4500 years ago document transgender people. Almost every civilization since has some sort of record of the existence of transgender people. Further proof transgender people are born transgender.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender_history

Personal Experience: I wasn't alive before the sexual revolution, so I can't comment.

Myth #23: Proof transgender people are born transgender must be anatomical.

Reality: There is enough empirical proof from five decades of documented therapist conclusions to conclude people are born transgender. There is no need for physical proof any more than there is need for physical proof of say a part of the brain shows why some people are straight.

https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/full/10.1089/trgh.2018.0020

Personal Experience: Although there are plenty of studies that provide preliminary evidence of biological causes of being born transgender, none that I am aware of are definitive.

Myth #24: Transgender regret occurs frequently.

Reality: While there are old studies, particularly one from Sweden that are still quoted as the standard percentage of regret. All recent studies show the therapies and even surgeries performed for gender affirmation are incredibly successful. The most recent study from Sweden showed only a 2% regret rate. That means 98% were happy enough with their gender affirmation to not go back to their declared birth gender based on anatomy. (Compare that to divorce rates!)

https://www.google.com/amp/s/m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6160626/amp

Personal Experience: I have never met any transperson that gender affirmed that regretted gender affirming, and I have met hundreds of transgender people. The only regret I hear is about waiting too long to gender affirm.

Myth #25: Transgender people score higher in IQ tests.

Reality: There was a study from nearly 20 years ago that hypothesized and then claimed proof that transgender people have higher IQs. Studies since have proven the advantage to not be true. What appeared to have happened is that transgender people that did reveal they are trans were more likely to be successful enough to handle the discrimination that would ensue. So … the issue was that the data was skewed with successful people! While transgender people may be average IQ wise, many transpeople have achieved great things by winning Olympics events, becoming Hollywood icons and ascending in academia.

https://sillyolme.wordpress.com/2010/04/06/smarter-than-the-average-bear/

Personal Experience: I had hoped this might be a silver lining in being born transgender. It seemed to fit with me since I had higher standardized test scores than about 90% of the population taking the GMAT and ACT, but alas the research shows a higher IQ not a coveted silver lining.

Public Speaking

This presentation has been given several times to groups interested in learning more about transgender people. For example, in my home city I presented it to the Lion's Club, of which many of the members had known me my entire life. I am willing to present it or a similar presentation on transgender and LGBTQ+ to help spread awareness and knowledge. Feel free to reach out to me at StephanieLayneStarling@gmail.com.