No 'More'; No Meaning

No 'More'; No Meaning

He sat at the top of the dune.  His yoga position was the best he could do.  The best, without any pain or ache.  Knees, ankles all worn or injured from time.  He had no magical word, no magical thought, no magical image.  His only thought, "What do I do now?"  His search had ended.  He had lost all sense of love and caring.  She had showed him love, his kind of love, doesn't exist.  His kind of caring, doesn't exist.  Faith he sought in her and God he lost.  She showed him faith doesn't exist.  People were people and no more.  People were people with no meaning.  From the dune, he saw across the ocean.  In the ocean, there a volcanic island.  Behind him, which he sensed, mountains with snow caps not too far away.  He saw her face in his mind.  He saw all of her that he loved.  Also, he saw within her the demons grown from the seed of Satan for him.  He thought he could fight these demons but she wouldn't have none of that.  The sense of pleasure she got from the pain and torment she gave him.  The excitement of seeing him eat his heart out made her sexually aroused.  Her human animal nature.  She only wished she could dine on his heart, as well, with it still pumping.  Biting the last chew taking his final breath.  With that fresh meat, she thought and couldn't remember why she hated him so.  It just felt so good.  As he saw the demons and Satan close the door to Above Cognitive, he knew there was no 'more', no meaning.  No God.

Watching and feeling the sea gulls above, he knew there was life.  They flew with such freedom and floated in the wind with such grace.  But, no 'more'; no meaning.  Where was God?  Examining the years and years he searched while fighting those demons from his Devil Seed.  The fight was so unfair, in that, what was demon and what was him.  How do you fight Satan while fighting yourself?  What thoughts were yours; what thoughts were his.  Was it love or was it lust?  Was it the nice feeling of the drink or was it the desire for over indulging to self-inflict in the name of such pleasant only Satan can truly enjoy.  The pain which we say to ourselves how much it hurts but asks for more; inflict more onto ourselves.  If there is a God, why not does He stop me.  Why does it become the point of asking Him, "God, please, take my life.  I don't want to live anymore."  The many times he had said that.  Then, she came into his life.  Oh, she was there for many years, hidden from him by God, if there was one.  Or just life.  The price he paid.  The answer he thought he found.  The 'more'; the meaning.  His entrance into another realm.  The gate to the wonders of God.  To go into Above Cognitive, he thought.  But no God.

She took away the demons, she took away the pains, the self-inflictions continued, but she, no one understood.  They lived the words of man.  He lived his 'feelings' which he thought were from God.  Probably, just life.  The decisions he made he followed his heart.  Except, those that led to self-infliction.  The self-infliction for going against the words of man.  No one saw.  No one cared.  They followed the words of man.  Not even God could stop the inflictions.  For though he felt God sent her to him, he always felt her hatred.  For God to take it away, impossible.  Only she.  Though lacking the deliciously of heart, his inflictions pleased her palate.  Such settling of thirst for his pain.  The pain he grew to love and need.  The unseen pain for no one cared.  The winds of the dune forgave him for they blew so light and fair.  The sensations and 'feelings' of his long hair on his neck made him feel alive.  Feel there was a God.  He dared not speak this to anyone for fear she would hear.  Shearing his hair, she surely would.  Anything to keep him away from the gate; from entering the land of Above Cognitive and the journey to God.  She gave him God without knowing; knowing now, took Him away.  No God.  No 'more'; no meaning.

"No God," he thought at the top of the dune.  As looking down the sands, he saw a figure running towards him.  Getting near, "No, it can't be her."  Said with a spark of a miracle in his heart.  But there is no God.  He closed his eyes and prayed.  Rolling in the sands down the dune, words he heard or thought he heard.  "I love you, too."  Landing on his back and she looking up to him from his chest.  "I love you, too."  It had to be a dream.  He awakening from a trance.  "I love you, too," he heard from her lips.  Before he could say either "How? or Why?"  "The joys and fun I got from your pain.  The face of Satan came upon me.  I asked God to take away Satan's gifts.  He, also, took away the inflictions of pain I felt I deserved.  He opened my heart and soul to 'feelings' and I could feel you with me.  There is no more excitement and pleasures in life than being loved for one's self.  Knowing I can find my trust and faith in you.  I need you."  With her kiss, he knew there was a God.  At the top of the dune, he saw the Aura's Gate, the entrance to Above Cognitive.  He had hope.  Or, was it all a story of the mind in a yoga trance seeking 'more'; seeking meaning with the journey to Above Cognitive its plot?