Coming Out: Hurt Feelings

Coming Out: Hurt Feelings

The door forever in front of him.  With each move, it moved.  The door's worldly sphere kept him in and the world out.  His only companion words of an imaginary god he called God.  He had no true belief or faith, only the need of someone to talk to; to believe someone cared.  He fooled himself not.  He knew the truth.  His only goal to live.  His mind, thoughts, and will fighting to survive.  Why?  He knew not.  Just there was a drive, a need to go ahead in life, a light to reach for.  The God he doubted saved him but why?  Is there such a thing of destiny?  The battles and wars he fought; the mud and dirt he crawled through.  All to prepare him for the journey to come; the final battle and war to the Aura's Gate and into Above Cognitive, his destiny given him by God.  But first, the finding of God.

The shriek in the night cracked the door, but it held.  The words he wrote were poison to the world of man, but freedom, from the creatures of Satan's seed in his soul which fought and ate him within for years, his goal.  Freedom given to him from the God he doubted.  He knew not what God led him into.  The ways of God he discovered.  Harsh they can be as she spoke words of man to him to begin the running of the gauntlet and the start of the journey to Above Cognitive.  Looking back, he wondered if the creatures were from Satan or God, Himself.  For what was to come was his salvation, the finding of God, love and faith in her.  Yet, the gauntlet continued.  An axe blow here, a spear jab there, all directing him to the nails of blood for her hatred to pound them in, or to another miracle of God: her heart of stone turning to 'feelings' of love and faith in God and him.  To end the shriek with the door cracked open and releasing them both to face the Aura's Gate and stepping through.

As he sat looking out to the live oak and felt a hundred years or more of feelings, of its spirit, he knew coming out of his world he could not.  Alone shall he be in his world.  Her hatred found its mark.  God lost.  His hurt feelings were not for himself, but the torments he felt from the feelings of others in the world, in existence.  The glass sphere of his world stopped not his feelings from reaching out.  Spirit can hurt and he felt the hurt.  Crazy and nuts he wished, or could be, but God in His ways spoke to him.  Did God's words prove his insanity?  Yes or no, neither stopped the hurt.  Tears flowed.  Due to the hurt, or due to coming so close to coming out of his world and being freed.  Near to Above Cognitive.

From the God who felt the nails, would He be merciful?  For thousands of times over the years, he prayed for God to be merciful, but God was not.  Breathe continued in him.  What pleasures he thought did God get from those years?  Was she only a cat string to tease more hurt from him?  No! he would continue the gauntlet to reach her heart and soul.  Together they were meant to be.  The seed of Satan closed by her; she saved him.  Only a merciful God through her could have saved him.  Her hand he saw takes his, he can only see in his mind.  Two becoming one, the journey Above Cognitive to be.  Or, was the opening of the door, his coming out, and the losing of hurt feelings only another story of make believe and Dreamland.  Above Cognitive cannot be except in stories.