What is the #1 thing I hear from parents? "They won't sit still to learn! They have no attention span!"
This concern is valid! In order for toddlers to learn any new skills, including communication, they must have an attention span. As a reminder, this attention span should be with another person as we are focusing on communication skills they all communication skills require another person.
For kiddos who are a few months old to around a year old:
Expect about a minute of attention span at a time when playing with you.
Think about social games, being silly together, and even watching you do something such as operating a toy for them, preparing a meal, showing them the clothes you picked out for them, or looking at pictures in a book you show them.)
For kiddos over a year old:
Expect 1-2 minutes of attention, at a time, when you are playing with them or doing an interesting activity.
Think about the social games you both enjoy (Peek-a-boo, patty cake, throw your child in the arm and catch them, rolling a toy back and forth, Wheels on the Bus, etc.), looking at pictures in a book that you point to and name, watching activities you do like ashing the dishes, preparing a meal, or doing your hair or make up while you talk to them, engaging in a play routine with you.
For kiddos 2-3 years olds:
Expect 2-6 minutes, at a time, when you are playing with them or doing an interesting activity.
Think about play routines (playing with trucks, blocks, "feeding" a baby doll, stacking a ring stacker, taking items in and out of a container, or helping you complete a simple puzzle), looking at pictures in books that you name. A this age, they may or may not be more or less interested in what you are doing at times. You may have to come to where they are playing to get active interest, but at times, your child should be curious about what other people are doing.
For kiddos 4-5 years old:
Expect 5-10 minutes, at a time, when you are playing with them or doing an interesting activity.
Think about group games (Ring Around the Rosey, Head Shoulders Knees & Toes, or Jump Little Bunny game), play routines (playing house with another person, pretend play, building a tower together, or working together to complete a puzzle), listening to a short story when read to, and helping with an interesting house house task.
For kiddos over 5 years old:
Expect 10-15 minutes, at a time, when you are paying with them or doing an interesting activity.
Think about the above activities, such as group games, play routines, completing a simple project together, listening to a short story, and helping with interesting tasks.
"But wait, won't my child have to sit down, sit still,
and stay on task for hours when they start school?"
Ummm... That's a hard NO!
At pre-school, daycare, and Pre-K the activity changes minute by minute to keep kids busy, on task, and learning. "Circle time" or "large group" may last for 30 minutes, but teachers are using lots of strategies and short tasks for kids to use their short attention span.
If you poked your head into a pre-school 30-minute large group, you are bound to see something along the following lines:
"Find your carpet square."→ Kids race to find their square & look to see who else is in their spot.
"If you can hear my voice, put your hands on your head. If you can hear my voice, put your hands in your lap.", → Kids listen closely to find out what direction will come next.
"Let's count to today's number on the calendar! 1, 2, 3,..." → Kids count out loud with the group to get to the number of the day while the teacher points to each number.
"Who can tell me what today is?"→ Kids problem solve with their teacher talking about what yesterday was, what day it is today, and name what day will be tomorrow.
"Let's sing the Hello song." → Kids sing the song with the teacher and listen at the end of the verse to see whose name will be called. When it is their turn, kids stand up, clap, and turn around before plopping back down to their carpet square, practicing using spatial awareness.
"Let's look at the helper chart to see who is going to be the line leader today." →
"Today we are reading a book about a dog" → Teacher shows the class the front of the book, naming the cover, spine, and title of the book, tells the class who wrote the book and who drew the pictures. The teacher points out the picture of the dog on the front. Kids begin talking about dogs.
"Who has a dog at home?" → Kids raise their hands, take turns during the interaction, and the teacher repeats key points the kids say to validate their response, keep on the topic, add to what is said, and for the kids to hear their words said out loud and pronounced well (If a child says "My aunt has a lellow og" the teacher may repeat "Oh, your aunt has a yellow dog." This helps kids, who sidenote here, don't typically develop all their sounds correctly until age 9, hear their response pronounced aloud and feel validated that they were understood, leading to them continuing to add to the conversation.)
The teacher reads the book about a dog holding book where the class can see it, makes sounds, faces, and asks simple questions about the book, encourages class to clap at the end, gets everyone to stand up, does 2 songs, then calls out simple directions to get each child to free play.
Do you understand that a ton of tasks were completed in these 30 minutes? Children in this classroom did not, at any point, need to be on a task for more than a minute or so. The activities went from movement, to sitting, from quiet to chatty to quiet again, and from talking as a group to talking one person at a time. And, let's remember, this is a whole group of kids, not just one kid, who we are working to keep on task!
Alright, so you would like your child to learn to stay on task and develop an attention span.
Start with what they do well- Pick activities your child has ALREADY shown interest in. (We know if you made it to this page, they are exploring their environment, responding to you when you play with them, and are turn taking. If for some reason you made it here and need to back up- go take a look at the previous skills.) Pick toys and activities your child already engages with. (Please note, this does not mean your child plays with a ton of toy well just yet, that skill is right ahead of us. At this step we are working on your child building an attention span to stay on task long enough to learn new skills to then learn how to play with more toys and common items.) Choose a few toys, songs, or activities your child has already show enjoyment for, pick 1-2 toys or activities you want to try with your child, and get any needed items together.
Set the environment- Now that you have your items, pick a place where you will play with your child. Avoid things that distract your child like the TV being on or being in a space that has too much stuff, leading to plundering (Here is a link 😀 If you need more info on setting up your space)
Start Happy & End Happy- Start the activity time with what your child does well (setting yourself up for success), introduce the new activities in the middle, and end the playtime with what your child does well again. You start and end with a happy child.
Example:
-Child loves The Wheels on the Bus, but only the "round and round" part, enjoys pushing a ball to you when you roll with them, loves whern you throw them on the bed over and over, and they always take the rings off a ring stacker, but you have yet to see them put a single ring ON the thing.
-You would like for your child to stay on task longer during playtime to see other parts of the Wheels on the Bus song (rather than dipping out as soon as you stop rolling your arms), would like for your child to stay on task longer that just 3 times with the ball, and would like them to stay on task to see the rings go "on" the stacker.
-You get the items ready, choose to try sitting on the floor in your bedroom as there are few distractions there, and you can close your door to keep them in the room with you.
-You start Happy by picking your child up and playing a game of tossing them on your bed, causing them to laugh and raise their arms to get you to do it again and again. You go into the Wheels on the Bus song doing THEIR favorite part first, causing them to roll their arms. You do one part of the song, you want to try modeling it for them, and go RIGHT back to the round and round part to keep their interest. You grab the ring stacker you prepared nearby, and model "on, on, on," dropping three rings onto the stacker. (It comes with like 8 rings, but we are building attention span, so you have set out 3-4 rings to make this activity easier for learning today!) You pause for your child to remove the rings while you say "off...off...off". Then repeat adding the rings (model your word "on") and pausing to let your child remove the rings (model "off). You set the toy to the side and start rolling the ball to your child, modeling "My turn! Your turn!"
-Then end the play session with another round of tossing them onto your bed, causing laughs and giggles.
What to do the next time you play this routine:
Try the "One More" strategy. As you do each of the activities, say "one more" during the parts you wanted to try, making the turn taking go from 2-3 turns, to 4-5 turns. If you say "one more," only go one more time, UNLESS your child communicates "hey, do that again!" or "I don't want you to stop, try it again". They might use eye gaze, pointing, handing you the item, or something else- if they communicate, we keep it going.