What else can I do to work on Tangible behaviors?

-Offer a different toy or activity before removing the preferred item. (or trade an item instead of taking an item away)

- Use a timer to prepare your child for a transition away from a preferred toy or activity. Explain when the timer goes off that you will be doing something new and explain what will come next.

-Offer a choice of what they will do next before ending time with the preferred item or activity. (i.e. “When we put the toys away do you want to have a snack or go outside?” or “When it is time to say bye-bye to the tablet do you want to have crackers or cookies for snack today?”)

-Use a visual schedule to prepare your child for transitions between activities. 

-Use “First/Then” strategy explaining to your child what you will do first and then what you will do next. (“First we will clean up the toys, Then we will go outside.”)

-Use a visual cue to show when a preferred item is available and when it is unavailable.

-Reward good behavior- When your child points, gestures, or communicates wants (rather than screaming, throwing a tantrum, or having a meltdown) reward them by giving them a preferred item. Do not give your child the preferred item when they are harming themself or others. This will reward unwanted behavior and lead to your child continuing to use these behaviors to get items. 

1. Safety Concerns

Save the words "no", "stop", "don't", & "wait" for when you REALLY need them- when your child is doing something that will hurt them. These words and the tone you use should cause your child to PAUSE so that you can get to them to redirect. 

Is your little one about to touch the hot, hot stove? Yell "Stop!" with your hands out so that they pause and you can redirect them away from the danger.

Is your child about run away while out in public? Yell "Wait" to cause your child to pause (yes, they will keep running after that pause but that pause can be the difference in catching them quickly). 

2. During playtime with parent-led games 

You do want to teach these words but teaching them during playtime is the best way for them to work (and these parent-led games will help the words word for you with the safety concerns from above). 

Stop & Go games- During this game you will work on teaching your child to listen, follow your directions, and learn the words "stop" and "go" have meanings. Start by being close to your child and physically helping them. 

You may:

• Stand in front of your child, take their hands, and say "Go, go, go" while you make your child twist, spin, or dance. (You may physically use your hands to help your child do the motion). Then, put your hands on their shoulders to hold your child steady while saying "stop". Keep the "stop" part very short for now. You can also try this with silly songs Freeze Dance        Another Freeze Dance      Fun Directions Song

• Play tickle game by tickling your child saying "tickle, tickle, tickle," and "Stop!" Draw your hands away from your child when you say "stop" to demonstrate stop means "hands off". Repeat many times. Try extending the time after you say "stop" and see how does your child communicate they would like for you to keep going?

• While inside, hold your child on your hip or give them a piggyback ride. While you walk/move say "go, go, go, go" then stop suddenly saying "stop". Repeat this many times but start with the "stop" part being shorter and extend it over time. 

• While outside, hold hands with your child and say "go, go, go" while you do a hurried walk with them. Then stop (while still holding hands so your child stops too) while saying "stop". 

Wait Games-

• While your child is doing something such as turning pages in a book, dropping toys in a container, or rolling cars down a ramp playfully block their play. The key here is you MUST give them a playful warning this will happen and we ARE using language (please don't do this quietly! It will just be weird.) Say a phrase like "Here I come", place your hand it the way and say "wait", pause for 1-2 seconds, then say "go". 

Keep this VERY playful. 

Respond to your child's communication when they want you to wait or stop.

A big way to help children follow our lead is to... you guessed it- Follow their lead!

Does your child hold their hands up to stop you? Do they hold up one first like they are saying "Whoa, wait a minute"? Do they say "No" "Stop" or shake their head no when you are about to have them do something? Then, let's validate that communication! It does not mean they are going to get their way but we can validate they are communicating their wishes rather than ignoring them. 

Imitate what they are doing or saying and match their body language. 

If your child looks at you and holds that finger up to say "wait a minute", match their body, hold up your finger, and say "mama wait?" Then you can follow up with "Okay, first Mama wait, then we will ___". 

This tells your child "I understand you, I know you want a moment (or to avoid what we were about to do), but I see you, I hear you, and I am validating your communication".  Give them their way first, then get your way to build trust and communication.