Respect in Dojo

For whatever reason we enter the realms of Budo, we do so with humbleness and with respect for the knowledge of our teachers. We accept the discipline, the rules, and whatever is expected of us. Budo, by its nature, demands a somewhat military discipline and tends to appeal to the majority. Different teachers adapt to the level of discipline that they feel is appropriate to their class, skills, and personalities.

Firstly, what are the student's expectations of the teacher? Not only is the teacher expected to know his subject but also be able to impart his knowledge in a manner that his students can relate to. A teacher must be capable of taking on several roles to cater to all his student's individual needs.

Many dojos encourage traditional values and expectations and the students respond depending on their perception of these requirements. They will give their loyalty and allow the teacher to make demands - even expect it.

As far as everyone is concerned, (this is the way of Budo, after all!), this is a martial discipline and therefore these are the rules. All this is fine and often works, but at the end of the day, we are not living in feudal Japan where the social structure was completely alien to the modern Western society that we are used to.

This can be acceptable if one wishes to churn out androids or clones of the teacher and acknowledges that the soldier's place is not to think but to follow orders. Many dojos are run in this manner and the teacher in a fashion, isolates himself or the student feels he is beyond approach. Of course, there has to be some discipline but there has to be a balance between demanding respect and teaching humility.

Fortunately, some dojos have a slightly different approach. They treat each student as a human being and have done well to bridge the gap between the old and the new. They understand that a student has outside responsibilities that they have to fulfill and cater to these needs. Loyalty then comes from the heart as the students discover the true meaning of loyalty as they all strive to support the aims and goals of the dojo.

A responsible teacher will show compassion, sympathy, and understanding and will never make unnecessary demands on his students. He will be aware of both the negative vibes and the positive energy that exists whenever a group of people gets together. Because individuals are allowed to be themselves sometimes people become confused and friction becomes more apparent as they fall prey to their emotions. Momentarily, they forget who or what they are and start to question everything around them, much to the anxiety of their fellow members. This is when the strength of the dojo is put to the test, especially the teacher's.

These timely traumas can put quite a strain on the teacher who of course deals with it as he sees fit, which may not suit everyone.

Some students have problems relating to others and make demands on the teacher because they don't understand. If they can't accept people for what they are then the problem is them. They lack the required discipline and are the ones who take but never give - although they might think they do. Their's is a false loyalty which is worse than having no loyalty. They have no respect, for their fellow members, teachers, or the chosen Art.

Although these dojos don't demand respect it should still be there. This may seem a contradiction but only to people who refuse to understand. Having and giving respect is a rare quality and helps the student to understand the "meaning" of Budo. The student must learn to respect the teacher, for his knowledge, for whom he is, and what he represents. Attempting to influence the teacher, verbally or by emotional bribery is an act of gross misconduct, which in some dojos would mean instant disqualification. Unable to comply with the dojo's expectations by missing training, seminars, etc. is technically a breach of respect especially when the guilty person can only come forward with a feeble excuse.

Of course, as already mentioned we live in a modern society, and the student, the teacher, has to abide by or conform to certain accepted moral conditions. One cannot afford to become complacent and must endeavor to commit ourselves to the discipline of the Art.

Training is about sharing no matter what we think about the other person. If the other person cannot give there is no reason why you should stop giving, especially if your teacher has advised you to do so. You may not understand - but at least give your teacher some credit! Budo is about respecting your fellow students no matter who they are or how difficult they may be.

It is in these instances that grades don't mean a thing. True respect is when one bows to another person instead of the belt. Many use the color of their belt to pull rank and even dare to justify their beliefs. Bow to them, if it makes them happy to maintain your dignity.

A teacher needs to receive positive feedback, and not be bogged down by individuals who have a constant battle with their egos. A teacher has got to feel that the students are living up to his expectations.

Below are some of the symptoms of disrespect:-

Coming early to the dojo but going on the mat late because you were too busy talking.
Leaving others to perform dojo duties while you become "busy".
Persistence excuses to avoid certain training segments.
Challenging questioning and unwarranted interruption.
Monopolizing the teacher's or colleagues' time unfairly.
Reluctance in training or mixing with "problem" members.
Indifference to the aims and goals of the dojo.
Unable to make sacrifices without reward.
Taking liberties with lower ranks.

There are of course many other signs that the teacher could be aware of. Some are unavoidable and some are probably undetectable but it is important to have an insight of the possibilities that could chip away at the structure of the dojo. The teacher may even have to forfeit personal preferences, which may include friendships, for the benefit of the dojo and take action no matter how unpleasant the task may be.

This article has the word respect in the title but continued reference was made to loyalty because the two words are related. If one is truly loyal to another then it goes without saying that they have respect and vice versa. Even the dictionary confirms this connection.

Respect and loyalty in a dojo are just two of the requirements discussed above, some other emotions and virtues are an integral part of human nature and may need to be recognized as part of the diagnostic process. Emotions and virtues such as love, hate, compassion, jealousy, anger, inadequacy, superiority, etc. can and do affect the running of a dojo.

The dojo is a cauldron of emotional activity that has to be nurtured by the teacher. This places a tremendous responsibility on the teacher which is why this article has been penned. If only one person has recognized and understood anything I have stated above; then something has been achieved.

The intention was not to offend any group or individual but to bring awareness of certain fundamental problems. What might appear trivial now could have long-term repercussions, so all parties should be aware of the potential danger that can also be caused by ignorance and complacency. Some things may sound overzealous. 

Here are a few tips to assist individuals in understanding the conditions of respect and loyalty.

Find out exactly what expectations are required from you. Be prepared to offer a commitment. Whatever problems you may have speak to the teacher about them. Be compassionate and understanding. Act responsibly and set good examples. Have faith in your teacher and trust his methods and reasoning. More importantly, have faith in yourself but also be honest.

This list is endless but the above gives an idea of some of the ingredients required for genuine respect. Once mutual respect has been established, the road ahead is free from the attitudes and emotional stigmas that often mar the way of creative growth. Choosing to ignore the concept of honest respect in a dojo also tends to lack respect in life. This is why we take up Budo so we can, understand, experience, and enhance our and others' lives to live in peaceful coexistence. Whatever path of Budo we have chosen, each path will offer in one way or another a profound method of experiencing life.