Parents: Practicing Self-Kindness
This video focuses on the needs of parents who often struggle with being able to prioritize taking care of themselves alongside taking care of the needs of their families. During times of heightened stress like we are facing today, self-care becomes more critical for parents as their mental health affects the mental health of their children. Self-care begins with the goal of being kinder to ourselves and requires practice, but making self-care a priority puts parents in a better position to be able to care their families.
Practicing-Self-Kindness-Tip-Sheet for Parents.pdfBuilding Resilience in Children During a Pandemic
Parenting during a pandemic can be scary. This video discusses how parents can address children's fears, and how to build resiliency in children and strengthen families
Simple questions to incorporate social/emotional learning into everyday
Creating a Daily Routine
These resources explain and give great examples of why it is helpful to have a routine during this time. Making a schedule for everyday can be overwhelming, so it can be helpful to think of it as structure not a schedule. Not every day is going to be perfect and some days there will be more lounging than others, but having some structure and expectations of what the day looks like typically decreases stress for children and adults. When there is no plan for the day or week, it can become chaotic quickly. Some of these articles were written before the current restrictions on social distancing, please keep that in mind when they mention playdates and other activities.
Create your own daily schedule/map, look online for others, or email me if you need examples!
- You do not need to recreate school
- You need to create structure and routines
- All children benefit from routines, even if they say they don’t
- The amount of structure depends on your child
- More needs=more structure
- If you have to work from home, build your work time into the schedule as well so if you are unavailable during a period for work, your children will know the expectation for that time
- Involve your child in the structure/schedule
- Follow your child’s needs
- It is helpful to have a wake/bedtime schedule
- During academic activities, younger children need a break about every 25 minutes. This could be as simple as jumping jacks, or GoNoodle dance videos on Youtube are fun!
Daily Family Check Ins
Being aware of everyone’s social emotional state is extremely important right now. This video talks about how important it is to start the day off on a positive note, as how we start the day sets the tone for what our brain will be looking for the rest of the day, fear/anxiety or positivity. A morning “meeting,” afternoon check-in, and night time debrief are amazing ways to have family members share their feelings, what they are struggling with, discuss how they can make the next day better, and help add structure and predictability to the day.
Prime for Positive
When you start the brain on positivity, it makes you more open minded and better able to regulate your emotions during the day.
If you look at the news, social media, or something that causes anxiety early in the morning, reboot and find something positive to start the day positive.
Emotional Check In
Have a morning meeting with family members to see how everyone is feeling. This could be cuddled in bed, during breakfast, or however else works for your family.
When everyone is sharing their feelings, it is important to validate them. Everyone, especially now, needs to have their feelings heard.
Feelings check ins communicate that how everyone feels is important and normalizes feelings. Children can see that everyone is sad, mad, frustrated sometimes; share how you manage those feelings.
Review what is going on that day. Review/adjust the structure you have for the day.
If needed, have more emotional check ins during the day.
Younger children may need pictures/guides to identify what they are feeling.
Evening Debrief
At the end of the day and see how the day went. What does everyone need to change or keep the same for the next day? How can we make the next day better? What went well?
It is ok if the day did not go as planned, but make sure to adjust for the next day, and learn from mistakes!
There are so many different charts/pictures online for visuals for emotional check ins. Find one that works for you family, or create your own together!
Managing Emotions
- Foundational needs such of proper sleep, hydration, and if possible healthy snacks so there are no sugar highs are extremely important
- Sensory input- be aware of children’s sensory needs, and that they are getting what they need to feel regulated. Younger children need more movement and breaks, but all children need some sort of exercise/movement. This can even be a walk around the block, or learning a dance from youtube
- Relationship bonds are extremely important for self-regulation.
- Make a list/menu of what helps each family member calm down when dysregulated/stressed/anxious/angry/etc. Preparing ahead of time allows for a quicker and easier bounce back, and makes everyone reflect on what works for them. Try different strategies with your child to help them figure out what works best.
- If you notice yourself or a family member is starting to become dysregulated, be proactive and utilize a strategy before the feeling becomes too strong.
- For parents it is important to also find things that help you feel calm and manage anxiety. When you understand your own feelings and learn to manage them, you learn to understand other people.
Helping Teens Manage Anxiety During the Coronavirus
Check out this article that discusses ways to help adolescents manage coronavirus anxiety
Normalize Anxiety
Offer Perspective-Discuss what you are doing to stay healthy, safe, and helping your community
Shift the Spotlight
Encourage Distraction
Manage Your Own Anxiety
What to Say to Help Kids Feel Calm When the World Feels Fragile
I love article and corresponding video that discusses how to help children feel calm during the ongoing crisis. It highlights that it is ok if you don't know what the "right thing to say" to them is. What is important is that you create an environment where they can share their feelings and thoughts. What is important is "to hold them close, and leave space for playing, and talking, and listening and sleeping. We need to read with them, feel with them and laugh with them. And that will be enough, even on the messiest of days, or the ones that greet you when you are cranky, or exhausted, or ‘over it’."
Whether a school shooting or a deadly tornado, scary events in the news can leave parents struggling to know when — and how — they should talk with their kids about it. Rosemarie Truglio of Sesame Workshop and Tara Conley, a media studies professor at Montclair State University, give us tips.www.npr.org/2019/04/24/716704917/when-the-news-is-scary-what-to-say-to-kidsWhat to Say to Kids When the News is Scary
Limit their exposure to breaking news
Give kids facts and context
Encourage kids to "look for the helpers" (right now could be medical professionals, all essential workers, and others showing acts of kindness during this time)
Take positive action-How are you being a helper?
Social Distancing for Young Children
The below link has many tip sheets for handling grief, including COVID-19 specific, movement exercises for grief, supporting children and teens in foster care, and tips for what to say when someone is grieving.
Talking to Children About Death & Grief
Unfortunately death and grief may be a part of many of our lives right now. These articles discuss what children at different ages understand about death, how to start conversations about death and grief, and more.
Social Story on Wearing a Mask
Children may have a lot of questions about why people are wearing masks, this social story with pictures can help answer in ways they can understand.
NAGC_Activity_Booklet-Responding_to_Change_&_Loss.pdfRespondiendo_al_Cambio_y_P_rdida.pdf
Coping With an Uncertain Future
This site gives ideas of activities and conversations to have as a family that draws on past experiences to prove you are able to adapt to whatever future lies ahead. We constantly adapt, change, and grow, and these get children start thinking that they have adapted before, and will continue to.
Coronavirus Daily Parent Tips by Child Mind Institute
Short, practical parents tips to practice during COVID-19 are shared daily!