I am a realist. I know that most of the people who need this information are not going to read long sections. Most of the people who will read the long sections don't need this information as much.
This section is short summary of the main points of the other sections. If you want to learn more, the other sections go into more details. If you still want to learn more you can go to the books and other resources that I summarized the information from.
Your brain is constantly receiving a lot of information from all of the body's cells. It then has to filter out what information it processes and what it ignores. It takes all of this information and combines it with clues from your past to make sense of everything. It then combines this into a story.
This means what actually happens and what you perceive are not exactly the same.
Your brain controls how your body responds to this information. One way it does this is through emotions. Emotions are kind of like a program on your phone that runs through certain processes. This is an efficient way to coordinate different parts of your body to get a desired outcome.
Many of these emotions are unpleasant so people learn to suppress these emotions. Suppressing emotions does not resolve them. They are still running in the background and trying to finish their task. It is kind of like having an app running in the background on your phone. You may not see it, but it is still draining your battery and affecting your processing speed. A lot of these trapped emotions have been stuck with you since you were a child.
Avoiding dealing with something does not make it go away or resolve it. It usually makes things worse and will have to be dealt with eventually.
A good analogy is a child who spills some food in their room. They don't want to get in trouble so they cover it up and hide it. Weeks and months go by and they think they are safe and might even forget about it. Is the spilled food gone? Of course not. Pretty soon they might start to smell something funny or they might notice some bugs. (A lot of those smells and bugs are there before they are actually noticed.) Finally it might get bad enough to do something about. Now someone has to really scrub and scrape the food and they have to figure out something to do about the bugs. Now the child is not only in trouble for eating in their room but also for hiding it.
We always choose our hard. You can choose to face the difficult situation now or you can deal with it later after it has grown into a bigger problem.
Many experts argue that all chronic problems (health, relationship, financial) have at least a few of these trapped emotions causing your symptoms.
When your body has these trapped emotions it causes your body to be stuck in fight or flight mode. Your body diverts the resources from some systems and sends it to the systems that will help you survive. This means all the systems designed to fight or flee are going to be worn out and exhausted from never getting a rest (your heart will be overworked, your muscles will be tense and knotted up, etc). Your systems that are turned down will also have problems (your digestive system will be slow and not functioning well so won't be able to get the nutrients you need and will have some extra garbage, you will not be able to think as clearly as you should, etc).
A LETTER THAT YOU DO NOT SEND (TRAPPED EMOTIONS)
“Remember, you are not a project that needs fixing. The key is to create space for your emotions to surface and to gently meet them with acceptance and patience.
Healing happens when we stop pushing ourselves to achieve a particular outcome and allow the body and mind to heal at their own pace, free from pressure or desperation. Let go of needing something to happen – this is keeping you stuck!” – Kate Murphy
Many people describe this letter writing as a great way to process and release both suppressed and repressed emotions so you can heal and move on.n,d,g,j Sometimes we need to write letters of love, apology, or regret to those who are now missing from our lives. You can write letters to your pain, your subconscious, your younger self, your future self.j In this letter make sure you describe your emotions and not just the facts.d Kate Murphy calls it journaling and she had a lot of good pointers, so a lot of the extras in this section are borrowed from her.g She has found that “by practicing this journaling technique daily, you gradually create more capacity in your nervous system. The result is someone who feels more calm, less stressed and overwhelmed, has less symptoms, and feels like they’re thriving, rather than surviving!”g
Before I explain the technique, I have to share her warning. She warns that if done incorrectly, this technique does not create any meaningful change. It sounds counterintuitive and maybe a little unreasonable, but she has found “if you're doing it simply to make your symptoms go away, or because you're desperate to heal, it won't work. Healing happens when you let go of the frantic need to fix.”g Remember the reason these emotions are a problem is because your mind perceives them as a threat. If you are attacking them then the body still feels like they are dangerous. Try to “come from a genuine concern for yourself, for your pain and suffering – and create space for your emotions to be felt and released in a compassionate, non-urgent way. The reason WHY you engage in this work, and HOW you engage with this work makes all the difference!”g
One more caution. When working with emotions, and especially when you are first starting, it's crucial to be aware of how much you can handle. If you try to take off more than you can handle, like addressing your biggest trauma right away, it may leave you feeling overwhelmed or increase your problems.g,o
Here is the technique:g
o Find a quiet place and set a timer for 10 minutes (you can go longer if you want).
o A place where you won’t be interrupted or distracted. It should be private so you can be open and honest with yourself.
o Begin by asking yourself one of the following questions or something similar to prompt you to start:
o “How am I really?”
o “What’s disturbing my peace?”
o “What from my past is still affecting me or holding me back?”
o “What are my beliefs about ____ (money, relationships, success, myself)?”
o “What am I currently struggling with and why (relationships, finance, health)?”
o “What is one thing I don’t want anyone to know about me?”
o “What am I resisting right now?”
o “What am I scared of?”
o “What is my subconscious trying to tell me?”
o “If I could go back to my younger self, what would I have liked to have been told?”
o Let the words flow freely.
o “Remember, no one should read what you write, not even you. Write without worrying about grammar, structure, or how raw and ugly your emotions may seem. Let it ALL out! It's crucial to tell the whole truth, holding nothing back. If you've felt it but haven't processed it, it needs to be expressed. While it can feel messy, allowing these emotions to come up is essential for true processing. Writing helps you confront and release these feelings.”g
o We tend to hold back with others or when we are around others. Because no one else is going to see this, you should try to be as honest as you can and let it all out without fear of judgement of any kind. What have you wanted to share with someone but didn’t feel safe enough to? What have you been worried others may find out?
o Acknowledge and validate your feelings.
o “Journaling is a tool for self-exploration, not self-criticism. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate these feelings. Avoid judging your thoughts or feelings. Allow yourself the space to explore your emotions honestly and openly. Remember, without a compassionate environment, these emotions will remain in the subconscious, afraid to surface.”g
o Feel the emotions.
o “Begin to pay attention to any sensations happening in the body. Practice noticing and observing bodily sensations like tension, warmth, or tightness. Observing and sensing these sensations deepens your connection with your body and prevents you from thinking about or intellectualizing them. Allowing yourself to fully experience these feelings in your body is how you begin to release what no longer serves you and create space for healing. Remember to be with the feelings and let the feelings be.”g
o “If you find your mind wandering or notice yourself starting to think or create stories, bring your awareness back to your body. Focus on sensation without explanation, as this is what will dissolve them. Once you learn how to ‘be with’ these emotions without intellectualizing them, you will notice how they become less intense and dissolve, leaving you feeling lighter. This is feeling. This is healing.”g
§ There is a reason these feelings have been buried. They were uncomfortable in the past and they will probably be uncomfortable now. Now you can control your surrounding and the rest of the experience so you know you are safe and can stop whenever you need to. Just remember that if we let emotions run their course, they typically do not last more than 90 seconds. Just observe the sensation in your body and trust that it will pass. “Feeling will heal you, thinking will retraumatize you or perpetuate your suffering.”g
o Avoid analysis and discard.
o “There’s no need to analyze or rehash what you’ve written as this can be counterproductive. The goal is to write it down, express it, become separate from it, and FEEL what you’re expressing, not THINK about it and hash it over. This is where you show up and share the whole, ugly, unfiltered truth and get rid of it. Remember, it’s never meant to be read again.”g
o Let it out and let it go.
A simple way to know if this journal technique worked for you is how you feel afterward. Feeling and processing your emotions will leave you feeling better like something has been released. If you thought too much about your emotion whether you were resisting, judging, or something else then you will feel worse. “What heals trauma isn’t about reliving the event or hashing it over again. It’s about learning to be with the stored alarm in our body—the feelings of dysregulation, overwhelm, and distress that remain long after the traumatic event is over. The trauma itself might be in the past, but the emotional residue, the stored alarm, is what still affects us today.”g
Until you give this a try it may be hard to see how this would do any good. As Kate has found after working with thousands of people, “Do not underestimate the power of this work. I have seen it cure everything from autoimmune disorders, anxiety, and insomnia, to chronic pain, digestive issues, fatigue, headaches, migraines, fibromyalgia, back pain, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), mold, chronic fatigue, skin conditions like eczema and psoriasis, heart palpitations, dizziness, hormonal imbalances, and even cancer.”g
WRITE OUT YOUR STORY (LIMITING BELIEFS)
o When something in your life is not working out how you would like, you should write down the story you are telling yourself about it. A good place to start is “the reason why _______ is because….”
o Write all the thoughts, excuses, reasons, feelings that come up.
o Don’t edit it. Don’t judge it. Just write.
o It is sometimes helpful to go into more detail. So instead of just saying “I don’t have time”, you could say “during the week I have to work all day and then I come home and clean the house and run kids to sports and get them ready for bed.”
o After you have written your story it is time to read it. Sonia Ricotti suggests reading it at least 5 times – some of which are out loud. She proposes that by doing this you will notice that by reading this story and especially out loud it starts to decrease some of the emotion behind.
o After this you will take a separate sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left side of the paper you are going to go through your story and make a list of all of your limiting beliefs.
o Once you have your list you are going to go through each one and question it.
o Questioning a belief is the first step into not believing it.e
o Ask if it is true, where you learned this belief, why you still have this belief, how this is benefiting you, how this is hurting you, how would you feel if someone said this to your best friend or brother or sister, etc.
o Once you have analyzed it, now write down the actual truth and maybe some supporting details on the right side of the paper.
o Now rip the paper down the line and throw away the false beliefs on the left – you don’t need them anymore. Place the truths where you will see them often. Repeat them to yourself often.
o If you ever start to think one of those limiting beliefs you can stop yourself and say “that is not true, actually …. (state the truth you found and maybe some of your supporting examples).”
WHAT ARE EMOTIONS: Click here to learn about emotions
SUPPRESSED EMOTIONS: Click here to learn what happens when emotions are trapped.
SAM'S PROTOCOL: click here to learn how to heal trapped emotions
TROUBLESHOOTING / EXTRAS: click here for some tips and extras
You may be wondering why you should read all of this and not just skip to the treatment section. Knowledge increases power. When you understand some of the principles in how your body and how emotions work you will realize that:
1) you are not broken, damaged, or irreparable,
2) you are not alone,
3) these are common and natural reactions,
4) your body and mind are acting this way for a reason,
5) there is a way to change this,
6) there are things that can be done to keep this from happening in the future.
7) You are not born that way or that is not just the way you are. You have far more choice and control than you realize.
This understanding will also help you understand why some of these solutions and techniques work. It also allows you to figure out some solutions on your own.