My Personal Learning History

I grew up in a generation in which girls were not often encouraged to consider pursuing a college degree.  Neither of my parents had a degree from a four-year college, so it wasn’t an automatic expectation.  My sister, who was two years younger than me, knew from a young age that she wanted to be a teacher, so her experiences with the education system was entirely different from mine—she was encouraged and supported in ways that I did not experience.  As a result, when I graduated from high school, I went to the local community college to gain skills to become employable the fall after graduation.  At the same time, my family began to fall apart, and I found myself needing to support myself and become independent. I was able to attend community college full time for three terms and then at 19 I had to take a full-time job and move into my own apartment.  I spent another three terms as a part-time student to complete an A.A.  By then I was fully engaged in my work and building a career.  

I eventually married and, when our oldest was born, had the privilege of staying home for almost ten years with our two children.  Those are by far my most memorable years. My husband, a music teacher, had been working on earning an M.A. and eventually a Ph.D. and that inspired me to return to school. I knew that when I returned to the work force I did not want to continue in my previous career as a legal secretary, so I needed to return to school to have more options.  

I was almost 40 when I returned to community college to complete the classes needed to transfer to CSU San Bernardino. I did not know at first what I wanted to major in, but I knew I wanted to teach because I saw it as a way to have a fulfilling career.  My first semester back in school I needed to take Freshman Composition. It was in that class that I realized that I wanted to teach writing. One of our first assignments was to write a personal narrative.  I chose to write about the upheaval in my life at age 18. It was in writing that narrative that I realized that because writing is such a personal and often emotional act, I had avoided the writing class when I was 18.  I just wasn’t ready. Growing up I spent a great deal of time reading, partly as an escape. I also enjoyed writing all through school, but when life became too painful, I stopped writing for expression and enjoyment and the only writing I did was for more practical and professional reasons. This sudden awareness of the power of writing as a way of expressing ourselves and exploring the world around us made me realize I wanted to teach writing. So I focused on getting a B.A. in English literature and, eventually, an M.A. in English composition to focus on the teaching of writing. 

It wasn’t always easy being a student with two children at home and I had to start out attending part time.  However, I had a lot of support from family and from my professors. This time around, I felt like I belonged in the classroom and had something to contribute. I was fortunate and had faculty who encouraged and supported me in reaching my goals, but I never lost sight of how it felt to not believe I was “college material.” My experiences help me to understand the struggles and self-doubt that many of my students face. I never lose sight of the reality that students bring their whole lives into the classroom with them, not just the part of them that wants to learn to write. That perspective shapes everything I do as a teacher.