Setting routines, and sticking to them, is essential for a child's social and emotional well-being. When a child understands what is expected of them, and they are reminded of these expected behaviors, they are more inclined to go with the flow, be flexible, and follow the group plan.

Keeping to routines, both inside and outside the home, also tends to keep major outbursts at bay. When children have a sense of what their future might entail, there is less worry and anxiety about the unknown.

Although setting routines is key, it is also important to be flexible as well. Giving your child options allows them to have a sense of control over situations, and alleviates tension, anger, and frustration about the task, or situation, at hand.

"How much time do you need to complete (task/activity)?"

"What do you need to do first? What do you need to do next? What do you need to do then? What do you need to do after that?"

"Would you rather do (option one) first or (option two?"

"You're going to have to be flexible. Our plan has to shift to (new plan)."

"It is expected to (behavior or action)."

"I love how you were able to be so flexible when our plan shifted to (new plan)."

Have your child help you organize their schedule by giving them choices. Break it down into chunks by the time of day, and allow them to choose the order that they wish to complete their tasks.

When you offer choices, make sure that they are a win-win for both of you. Offering these choices gives your child the sense of control and power that they are searching for. And when each option is a win-win for you both, everyone ends up feeling empowered.

Choices can be for different starting points for projects or activities, and they can also be used for options during small breaks throughout the day. When you're discussing technology, devices, and phone use, offering two choices is the perfect time to bring in this strategy.

You can use phrases like:

" I can see that you haven't finished ______ yet. And I'm thinking that you might also need a break right now. Am I right? Ok, would you rather take a break now or after you _____?"

"Would you like to complete this activity after lunch or after free time?"

"Here is a list of all the things you need to get done this morning. Would you like to _______ first or would you like to ________?"

PRO TIP: Write down a list of the activities or assignments that your child needs to do in the day. Then chunk them so that they have a smaller number of assignments in the morning, the afternoon, and then after lunch. After the list has been chunked, give them two choices on where they want to start in that specific time frame.