WHAT AND WHY
Not only is it important to support our children, but it's important that we have the tools and strategies to support ourselves. In order to be the very best versions of ourselves each day, we must tune into our own social and emotional well-being.
Identifying your feelings and finding strategies that you can use to support you in these moments is crucial. What do YOU do when you're feeling upset, sad, worried, scared, excited, or doubtful?
In order to keep our families and children calm and comfortable, we must regulate our own emotions and our behaviors. Co-regulation with the people around us occurs only when we are regulated first.
So find things that ease your body and your mind. What types of activities, smells, phone calls, and actions can you take in order to support yourself? Making a list of these things is a great way to visually see what works for you, and the tools that are already in your toolbox.
STRATEGIES TO TRY
PRHASES TO USE
"What can I do quietly to ease my mind?"
"What physical activity can I do inside/outside to get my body moving?"
"What do I need in this moment?"
"What is the size of this problem?"
"Does the size of my reaction match the size of this problem?"
"Can I take some time for myself BEFORE I get upset?"
QUICK TIPS AND TRICKS FOR RE-ENGAGING YOUR CHILD
Ask your child what they want to work for BEFORE they start a task. You can have them choose from a list or from a reward jar.
Making a list of these small rewards together is an opportunity to connect, offer choices, and agree on things together so that there aren't flair ups or negotiations throughout the day.
You can use phrases like:
"What would you like to work for?"
"Let's take a look at our Reward Jar/List. If you complete ________, then you can have _______."
"First you must complete ________, then you can have _______."
PRO TIP: Have the list of rewards ready to go at all times. Put it in a spot where everyone in the family can see. If there are items or rewards that might be time specific, add the amount of time on the agreement.
USING THEM AT HOME
Use these visuals as a pre-made list of ideas that you can use as rewards. You can use them as ideas, or just print out and use it with your child(ren) at home.
PRO TIP: Have your child create their own Reward Jar or List. Be sure to agree on the items that they will be working for.
Children can work for small rewards throughout the day, or they can work towards earning a larger reward at the end of the day or week.
Please contact your school counselor for more information and individual assistance.