WHAT AND WHY
Our children can have big emotions. They can also be unpredictable when their plans change, or when things don't go their way. When our children show behaviors that are unexpected, the people around them can feel uncomfortable and upset as well.
It is important to teach our children the expected behaviors in multiple social situations. It is also important that we teach them to pay attention to the hidden rules around us, to think with their eyes, and change their actions so that the people around them feel comfortable and calm.
It is also just as important, if not more important, to teach them about the tools and strategies that they have to support themselves throughout their days. Talking about how they're feeling, and the ways they can support themselves so that they feel calm and make responsible decisions is crucial to their social and emotional development.
STRATEGIES TO TRY
VISUAL SUPPORTS
FIRST/NEXT/THEN
First, Next, Then.pdfPrint this visual out or download it as a PDF and type into the boxes.
Let your child know what is going to happen BEFORE it actually does.
Draw pictures, write the words, and show them how they will transition throughout the day from one activity to the next.
PRO TIP: Have your child sketch or write out it out on their own. This will give them a sense of control over their day, and conflicts will be kept at bay.
FIRST/THEN
First, Then.pdfPrint this visual out or download it as a PDF and type into the boxes.
Your child can use this as a visual schedule to keep them on track of assignments, or you can show your child the expected behaviors or activities they will be completing throughout the day.
PRO TIP: Use the visual picture cues to support your child with their visual schedule. Move the images onto the boxes as they transition through their day.
VISUAL PICTURE CUES
Print, laminate, and put velcro on the back of these images to use with the First/Then visuals to the left.
PRO TIP: Take pictures of your child showing the expected behavior(s)/tasks. Then print, laminate, and velcro those images and use them with the First/Then visuals.
USING THEM AT HOME
Have your child identify how they are feeling and explain the reason behind this emotion.
Have them choose a strategy or a tool that they might use throughout the day to help support them
Creating a space like a "Zen Den" or "Relaxation Station" is the perfect place to keep their Feelings Journal or daily check-in.
The Interactive Feelings Journal is another strategy that your child can use in a calm space at home. Your child will reflect on how they're feeling, and choose strategies that support them while clicking through the journal.
Click on the Feelings Journal to make your own copy.
PRO TIP: Be sure that it is in PRESENT mode while working through the strategies
LOOKING FOR MORE?
TOKEN BOARDS
Token boards are a great way for you to reward your child when they show the expected behavior. Just write in what you want to see from them as their behavior goal, and then reward them each time they show that expected behavior.
Use the blank token board to the left to create your own theme, or choose one of themes from below. Print, laminate, and then velcro the spaces. The images on the second page of each PDF can be laminated and cut out to velcro onto the spaces as your child shows the expected behavior to meet their goal.
PRO TIP: Print, laminate, and use a dry-erase marker on the spaces. Or even have your child reward themselves by marking their token board throughout the day.
Token Chart- Avengers.pdfAVENGERS
Token Chart- Unicorns.pdfUNICORNS
Token Chart- Trains.pdfTRAINS
Token Chart-Pokemon.pdfPOKEMON
PHRASES TO USE
"What's the size of your problem?"
"What strategies/tools do you have in your toolbox to support you?"
"What does your body/brain need right now?"
"Does your reaction match the size of your problem?"
"It's expected to ______ right now."
"You're going to have to be flexible. Our plan was ______, and our new plan is _____."
"Would you like to do (choice 1) first or (choice 2) first?"
QUICK TIPS AND TRICKS FOR RE-ENGAGING YOUR CHILD
Working backwards is a great way for your child to see what the assignment or activity will look like when it is complete, the steps they need to take in order to do the task, and then the things they need to do to get ready for it.
Visually seeing a mock-up of what a completed project will look like takes away some of the stress and anxiety that your child feels when they are afraid to make a mistake, when they are unsure of what the teacher expects from them, and also continues to keep them motivated to complete the tasks at hand.
This can be used for large projects as well as for smaller tasks and activities.
You can use phrases like:
"What will this look like when it's COMPLETE? Let's draw it out."
"What steps do you need to take to complete each task? What does that look like?"
"What do you need to do to get ready to do this task? Let's make a list of all the things you need to do to get ready."
PRO TIP: Use the visual below to have your child draw out what the project will look like when it's complete. These sketches are quick and can be done by you or your child depending on their age and ability. Boxes can represent pages and scribbles are perfect to represent writing. Labeling these sketches will help your child as they use the visual when they complete each part.
Please contact your school counselor for more information and individual assistance.