extra two

With all the blankets wrapped around him like a cocoon, Yugeon gently tossed and turned, and buried his face into the soft pillow. Like it wasn't enough with just his own, he also had Shinje's pillow tightly hugged in both arms. As if the pillow itself was Shinje. Gentle sunlight fell on his fair cheeks. His consciousness rose to the surface when he felt the white beyond the other side of his closed eyelids. 

"Did you sleep well?" 

A gentle voice was heard overhead. But he couldn't figure out what they were saying. Yugeon, still wrapped in the blankets, rolled towards the place where he heard the sound. It wasn't long before his forehead hit the leg sitting on the edge of the bed. 

"Yugeon-ah?" 

It sounded like someone was calling his name..... But he wasn't sure. He just wanted to sleep more. It was then he heard a laugh that sounded like a soft chiming of a bell. Yugeon moved his head on the thigh, frowning, unable to open his eyes. The thigh was a little high and felt too hard to sleep on, so obviously, it was uncomfortable. Yugeon moved his head higher, in search of a more comfortable seat. A long finger tapped his cheek, half covered by the blankets. 

"My guide is very active. Already looking for this the second he wakes up without even opening his eyes." 

"....." 

"Did you have a dream last night where you get to suck mine? Or do you just want to suck right now?" 

Yugeon was immediately wide awake at the dirty words thrown at him nonchalantly. His whole spine was cold. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, and sat up, still frowning. The rolled up blankets around his body slid down to the bed, revealing his tangled jet-black hair. It was a totally lax demeanor in contrast to the eyes that looked somewhat ferocious with the frown. He'd never thought of himself as someone who had a bad sleeping habit, and had never been pointed out about it, but strangely, every time he woke up, there would be a magpie's nest sitting on top of his head.  

Among the hair that was sticking up here and there, a handful of hair had sprouted up especially near the top of his head. Yugeon shook his head and rubbed his face to chase away the sleep. The messy hair sticking up was also gently swaying his movements. Then, he just slumped down on the bed and stared at the empty space with blank eyes as he calmed down a bit. He wasn't probably aware of it, but it was a pretty amusing sight. No, it was even funnier since he wasn't aware of it at all. 

"Pfft." 

The laughter he had been holding back burst out. It wasn't a loud sound, but it was enough to get Yugeon's attention. Still not fully awake, he looked up groggily. Shinje was sitting on the edge of the bed and watching him. When their eyes met, he smiled and waved his hand gently. He had a cup of coffee in one hand. Over Shinje's shoulders, warm sunlight was pouring inside through the curtains he had just opened. 

"I overslept..." 

While talking, Yugeon noticed that Shinje's gaze was still fixed on him. He looked down at himself. One side of the T-shirt he was wearing as a pajama had crumpled up. Needless to say, even the shorts he was wearing underneath were a bit baggy. The bare skin on the sides and some parts of the underwear band were also all carelessly exposed. 

"....." 

Embarrassment kicked in, although he felt it was already too late for that. The fact that Shinje was stylishly dressed as if he just popped out of a magazine pictorial just further fueled his embarrassment. It was like the man didn't even sleep. Besides that, Shinje was pretty even when he was sleeping. With an angelic face, he just closed his eyes and slept soundly without that common toss and turns. Yugeon cleared his throat and asked, pretending to be indifferent, pulling down the hem of his T-shirt. 

"Did I oversleep?" 

"You looked so cute sleeping, so I wanted to let you sleep more. But I thought you should still eat breakfast before going back to bed." 

"Can you stop with that cute thing? Why do you keep calling me that?" 

He still couldn't get used to the word no matter how many times he had heard it. It was a word that had nothing to do with him, so it just instead felt like he was being made fun of. It would be less embarrassing if Shinje obnoxiously described himself as cute. The man only laughed without answering his complaint. 

Yugeon rubbed his stiff eyes. It'd been a while since he woke up, but it was hard to come to his senses. He thought he should go to the bathroom and wash his face with cold water. Without a word, Shinje lifted him up, put him on his lap, and wrapped the blanket around him. Yugeon suddenly became a tightly-rolled gimbap and held in Shinje's arms. 

"When did you sleep last night?" 

"Not too late." 

"What time?" 

"Three....." 

He then took a look at Shinje's eyes and added. There was nothing wrong with sleeping in late, but he felt guilty somehow. 

"Three-thirty." 

"You do this every time I don't come home. Do I have to sing you a lullaby and put you to sleep?" 

"I couldn't sleep." 

"Because of the plans we made yesterday?" 

"Yes. It's been so long since I last visited my parents..... and so did my brother." 

Heeseong's body was eventually cremated. It was decided that the remains would be laid to rest together in the same charnel house together with their parents'. Yugeon wanted them to reunite, even in the afterlife. But then, an unexpected obstacle appeared. As many parts of the country became a wasteland due to the appearance of the abyss, even the area where the charnel house was located was designated as an access control zone. It was only a few days ago when the news came that the cleanup of the charnel house area was finally completed and the control had been lifted. Today, after a long wait, was the day Yugeon was finally going to meet his family. He had been looking quite restless for the past few days, but Shinje didn't expect it to be to the extent where he'd even lose sleep. 

Longing for the dead family. It was an emotion completely incomprehensible for Shinje. However, Yugeon, who looked quite excited for the trip, was cute. That was enough. 

"What did you do until 3:30? Studying again?" 

Yugeon nodded without a word. These days, he had gained a new hobby, which surprisingly had nothing to do with disassembling guns or solving rubik cubes. On their living room table, which only used to have a small pile of books Shinje was currently reading, there were now colorful new books added to the pile. They were all textbooks from middle school to high school courses. 

Last night, he fell asleep reading a book until late. Yugeon was not the type to quickly look for an answer just because something he didn't know came up. He would instead stubbornly stare at the same part he stumbled on over and over again. His gaze focused on the book without moving an inch from his seat for several hours was grim and brutal. He would only move again when pins and needles started to act up. But he never gave up. Shinje later made a separate room at their home for him, both for exercise and study, so that he could lift dumbbells or do push-ups with a book opened on one side. 

He'd lived more than half of his life without studying, and it wasn't that he suddenly became interested in it now. Studying was a field that his brother was good at, not him. He was a lot more suited moving his body around rather than just sitting still and reading letters, but now, he was genuinely trying to do something that he had never imagined he would do willingly in his life. It was all the more difficult because the foundation was not stacked. Even so, there was a reason why he had kept steadfastly turning the pages without giving up. 

"If the world changes right now, I might be able to go to college if I keep studying."

That was what Heeseong had once confessed to him. When all the mutants disappeared from the world, and the Awakened returned to their normal state, he said he wanted to take the entrance exam and go to college. How did Yugeon react at that time? He must have lightly brushed it off, asking what was the point imagining something like that. For him, it was more urgent to survive the battle of the day than to catch the unreachable clouds like the entrance exams or college. 

But now the world was changing just as Heeseong wished. Back then, Heeseong, who had always been pessimistic and irritated, had shared his dream with his eyes shining with hope. As everything was returning little by little to before the Outbreak, it was as if the dreams and wishes his brother had shared with him had become sharp thorns stuck in his heart.  

Making his brother's dream come true in his stead. In the end, it was just a long overdue self-consolation. If Heeseong saw Yugeon right now, he might even laugh at him, saying, ‘what's the point of all that?’. Still, he wanted to give it a try. 

"There should be a college that accepts someone like me." 

Yugeon rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. Whatever course he wanted to choose in college, if his grades couldn't keep up, it would just be like counting chickens before they hatched. 

"If it's because you're bored staying at home, you can just go back to work? Our Guide Baek Yugeon will be welcomed wherever he goes." 

"Yes?" 

"We're short of manpower. The gates haven't completely disappeared yet, but the number of Awakened has declined too much. Some people are dead, others have lost their abilities or retired." 

This was the reason why Shinje was always away every other day even after Mazzaroth had disappeared. He said he was no longer Erewhon's Leader nor a Hunter, but the world still needed him. 

"I can take you to raids if you want. Of course, I won't let you be passed around carelessly." 

"I'm done." 

"Why?" 

"I don't want to fight anymore. I don't want to live as someone else's guide....."

Shinje closed his mouth and stared at him blankly. Every now and then, he would be like this. The man who usually boasted his cheeky eloquence would fall silent and stare at him with an expressionless face like that of a ceramic doll. This was probably Shinje's real face, revealed only after dispelling all the smirks and laughter he decorated his face with. The gaze somehow burned his throat. Yugeon turned his head and ended his sentence.  

"You alone are enough for me." 

"You mean you don't want to be with someone other than me?" 

"Yes?" 

"Me too. Then and now, I've only had Guide Baek Yugeon. I've told you before, I've been living modestly." 

"It means I can't afford to take care of other people because you are already too much to handle." 

"That's what it means." 

"It's different. Like a lot." 

"Be honest. Is my guide shy? That's cute too." 

Shinje ran his fingers through Yugeon's tousled hair, then gently swept his bangs slightly back and kissed his exposed forehead. Yugeon made a tiny frown, but didn't move away. 

"My Yugeon-ie has sprouts on his head." 

A pat on his hair sticking up on top of his head woke him up. He could hear the smile that couldn't be hidden in his voice. Yugeon's expression hardened when he realized Shinje was making fun of his hair. 

"I'm going to wash up." 

Yugeon pulled off the blanket, jumped up and strode towards the bathroom, ruffling his messy bed head with one hand. Shinje, who was watching him from behind, burst into laughter.  

Yugeon came out of the bathroom after taking a quick shower. He was given a start while he was pulling out a change of clothes from the closet. Shinje was lying on the bed that should otherwise be empty, asleep. The steaming cup of coffee was cooling down on the table next to the bed. 

"Ah..." 

Yugeon stood there with a puzzled look on his face, like a puppy who couldn't find its owner after toddling back from picking up the ball. He walked up to the bed as quietly as he could. 

When he was living in Erewhon, he rarely ever saw Shinje in sleep. Not only Shinje, but also the others in Team 1. They were used to staying up and fighting through the night, sometimes even for weeks if the gate attacks ended up being prolonged. Compared to ordinary people, the energy consumption was enormous, so they took care of their meals relatively well, but even then, if things weren't going well, they would also skip them all until the raid was completed. In any case, it didn't really matter since injuries could be healed with their own self-healing abilities, albeit slow, while pain could be dealt with drugs or guiding. Everyone lived as if it didn't matter if they died tomorrow. 

After the last battle, Yugeon noticed Shinje had improved his sleeping habits. Unlike before, when he would leave after making sure Yugeon had fallen asleep after making love, now he would lay down next to him and sleep with him until morning. In the afternoons when they had nothing to do, he would roll around on the sofa with Yugeon in his arms and take a nap. He must have stayed up all night yesterday after receiving a call and left the house in the evening, since he looked like he just came back this morning. He must be tired.   

Wake him up, or not? They are supposed to go to the charnel house later, so they might be late if he doesn't wake up. No, there's no need for that. There's still plenty of time left. With that in mind, he slipped onto the edge of the bed. He then laid on his side with his head on his arm, and studied Shinje's features with only a few inches of space between them. 

Shinje was sleeping very quietly with his head slightly tilted and his mouth naturally closed. Yugeon thought he wouldn't even hear the sound of him taking breaths if he wasn't listening carefully. Even with his shirt slightly crumpled from lying down and the messy bangs along the parted hair, he looked like a painter's masterpiece. The bright sunlight of the morning dyed the white shirt he was wearing even whiter. 

It reminded him of a fairy tale he read as a child. A sleeping princess in the forest.... what's the name? Of course, there were many differences between Shinje and the main character from the fairy tale who fell into a long sleep under a curse. First of all, the genders were different. Shinje obviously would be physically stronger than the dainty princess, and rather than being cursed, the man in front of him would immediately crush the person who tried to put a curse on him. Still, Yugeon thought they looked similar in the way that they made you want to kiss them.   

Little by little, he was unconsciously narrowing the gap between them. When Yugeon came to his senses, he had already come too close to him where he could even see the sunlight sitting white on his light-colored eyelashes. He should stop now. If he woke up feeling his kiss, he would be teased again. 

However, the person in front of him was too mesmerizing to back off. His sleeping face could way too easily rouse the strange impulses inside him. Just like back then, in the quiet mansion with a garden full of wildflowers. Yugeon swallowed his dry saliva and cautiously reached out his hand. Wouldn't it be okay to touch it a little? Perhaps he wouldn't wake up if he touched him lightly.    

He gently touched Shinje's cheek with his fingertips. Fortunately, he didn't wake up. He thought it would feel cold and hard since he looked like a porcelain doll, but his skin was warm and soft. He had been intimate with Shinje for countless times innumerably, through words, through sex, and more than anyone else, Yugeon knew he was a living person with a beating heart and warm blood. Even then, he was still often in awe of him. Shinje would never know that Yugeon had such thoughts while looking at him.  

His long eyelashes where the gentle morning light had dyed white looked like they were woven with silver threads. In contrast, Yugeon's hands were rough with scars and calluses. He felt like a savage trampling on a sacred place with dirty feet. He stifled the urge to touch those lashes, for he thought the current peace would collapse the moment he carelessly did it. 

Another impulse sprang up his heart. He wanted to crawl into those arms, hug his wide chest with both arms, and nuzzle his cheeks against his neck. But if he did, the man who was sensitive to anything would wake up immediately. He instead gently trailed his fingers down. Lightly caressing his slightly closed lips, Yugeon thought of countless many times when he wanted to shut this mouth that seemed to only know how to whisper cruel words laced with deadly poison. 

"....." 

Yugeon stopped stroking his cheek and brought his face closer. As if he had been possessed, his pitch-black eyes could only focus on Shinje and Shinje only. He wasn't sure if he was even breathing. The moment his hesitant lips were about to touch Shinje's lips.  

Ji-iing, ji-iing...... A vibrating sound broke the silence. Yugeon sharply pulled his head back, startling more than necessary. The source of the vibration was Shinje's cell phone. A call alert had popped up on the phone screen, which he had placed next to the coffee cup. 

Shinje would wake up at his rate, and then he would definitely be caught for what he was doing a while ago. He didn't have time to think about this or that. Yugeon quickly grabbed the ringing phone from the table and walked to the other side of the bed. It was all good up to there. If only his slippery fingers didn't press the button, accidentally accepting the call.  

1 second, 2 seconds, 3 seconds. The call duration displayed on the screen slowly increased. The speaker was slightly humming, as if the person from the other side was looking for Shinje. The number was not saved, so he couldn't even tell who it was from. It's all ruined. The three words popped into Yugeon's head. 

"He... hello." 

For now, he felt like he should just answer it and make up something. In any case, it might be an important call since someone was calling Shinje directly. If he hung up as soon as he answered it, there could be a problem. 

The hum from the other side of the speaker suddenly cut off. Did the caller realize he was not Shinje? Yugeon cleared his throat and asked. 

"Hello? This is not the phone owner, but did you contact Leader Woo Shinje?" 

The answer came back after a brief pause. 

- ......Guide Baek Yugeon. 

The person who had always kept his calm and blunt sounded hoarse for some reason. Yugeon also lost his words for a moment. 

"Deputy chief?" 

He heard a quiet sigh from the speaker.   

- It's been a while. 

The last time they saw, Taein only said one word to him. ‘Goodbye.’ As if he would never see Yugeon again in his life. Like drawing a line to the end of their ill-fated relationship, which had been awfully miserable and filthy. Unexpectedly, the person who did so was now casually saying hello. 

"Yes." 

- Is the leader absent? 

Just like in the past and now, both of them were second to none at making small talk. Not knowing what to say, Yugeon answered his question briefly under the guise of calmness. Taein also immediately returned to the main topic as if he had never lost his composure. 

"No, he's here." 

- Then please. 

"He's here, but now, it's a little." 

Taein sighed again. The words he continued after were so soft, that Yugeon barely understood. 

- If I knew you'd get it, I wouldn't have called in the first place. 

"Deputy chief?" 

- It's nothing. 

"....."

- So he's nearby, but can't take the call..... Did something happen to him?

"It's not..." 

His words were abruptly cut off in the middle. That was because the arms that had suddenly reached out from behind had grabbed his waist and pulled him onto the middle of the bed. Startled, Yugeon nearly bit his tongue. The phone too slipped between his fingers, and the screen lit up, showing an ongoing call. 

"Yes, Taein-ssi. I don't think Taein-ssi has anything to worry about. We both are fine." 

Shinje easily caught the phone he just dropped and continued the call while hugging Yugeon with one arm, slouching in an awkward position where they both were neither lying down or sitting up. His voice sounded more languid than usual. 

"Ah... yes, that. Let's wrap it up today." 

It was uncomfortable, with a solid arm tightly wrapped around his waist. When Yugeon lightly wriggled to make him let him go, Shinje hugged him even tighter. Yugeon just gave up and turned his head up to look at Shinje. His light-colored eyelashes fluttered gently as he blinked, his mind still focused on the call. Now that he was finally moving and talking, he no longer looked like a preciously crafted porcelain doll. 

"Any other instructions? Eum, I have none at the moment. For the gathering later, just let me know the location." 

As if he felt his gaze, Shinje rolled his eyes and looked down. He smiled brightly at him and gave a wink. Yugeon sharply turned his head away with a scowl, missing Shinje's smile.   

"And from now on... Yugeon won't be answering my phone again. My guide's voice, please don't think you will hear it again carelessly like this time." 

A few more words came and went, and soon the call was disconnected. Shinjee tossed his phone away with the screen turned off, and lay back down on the bed hugging Yugeon from behind. He burrowed the tip of his nose into Yugeon's still slightly damp hair, and soon, gentle kisses trickled down to his nape.  

"Did you use the new shampoo I bought? Smells good." 

Yugeon didn't answer. He still often confused shampoo, body wash, and foam cleanser. He didn't really know if the shampoo he used was new or not. He just randomly grabbed what was there. 

"That thing, just now." 

"Eung?" 

"That phone call." 

"Yugeon-ah, arms up." 

Not thinking much about it, Yugeon raised his arms as Shinje told him to. The T-shirt he was wearing quickly came off. Even with his hair left disheveled, Yugeon looked like he hadn't grasped the situation, his body still relaxed in Shinje's arms.  

"What's the, um." 

Shinje's hands slipped below. His pants and underwear were pulled down at the same time, and was left hanging on one ankle. Yugeon asked firmly again, even though he was just stripped naked at Shinje's hands.  

"What's the matter?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"The phone call. Isn't that important?" 

"I don't know..... Touching you is more important to me now." 

"Is it about Erewhon? Deputy chief even called you personally." 

"Erewhon? Deputy chief? Who's that?" 

"Gathering later, what's that... ah." 

Shinje had slipped his hand between his legs without any warning. All he wanted to know was about the phone call earlier, but Shinje kept interrupting him. Yugeon slowly got irritated. He frowned and shook his head around. A whine spilled from his lips before he could stop himself. 

"Eueueung." 

"Whyy?" 

As if to match his moans, Shinje stretched the end of his words the same way, and quickly wrapped his fingers around Yugeon's cock. 

The scent of body wash came to his nose, mixed with Yugeon's unique body scent, somewhat like a blend of powdered milk and soap. It was fragrant just by being near him, but when he was touching him, it was as if the scent had also poured into his body together with his guiding. If only he could, Shinje would just keep him in his arms all day long, never letting go of him. 

"Why are you avoiding the question?" 

"Why did you talk to him like that carelessly? It's obvious that guy will be thinking of useless things again." 

"That's..." 

"This is why I don't want you to be seen by other people." 

So far, he had successfully cut off Yugeon's contact with others without him noticing. He rarely took Yugeon out even though he would leave him alone at home for several days from time to time since Seoul was still not completely stable yet. Yugeon had no contact information other than his number on his phone, and he hadn't disclosed Yugeon's number to anyone purposely. He was utterly caught off guard this time. Shinje pressed his lips on Yugeon's shoulder and swallowed the rising irritation.    

"I'm sorry for answering the phone without your permission. But you promised to go to the charnel house with me today." 

After pondering with a scowl on his face, Yugeon eventually apologized. His voice was serious and stiff, even with his clothes all taken off and practically naked in Shinje's arms. Anyone who heard him might even think he was a soldier reporting to his superior. 

"Are you really curious about it? Do you want me to tell you?" 

"Yes." 

"Then, Yugeon-ah." 

Shinje's hand, holding his cock, moved subtly. The other hand came up and flicked a nipple. Only then did Yugeon grasp the situation he was in. Whatever this is heading to, isn't this dangerous? 

"Let me stick my dick inside you. Until I feel like talking." 

Shinje gently rubbed and pinched the nipple, then pressed his fingers inside Yugeon's mouth. He scoured through the warm and soft inside, wetting his knuckles to his heart's content. He pulled out his thoroughly drenched fingers and pressed them between Yugeon's buttocks. His other hand never stopped stroking Yugeon's cock, already half-hard. 

"Ah!" 

"Is it because you just washed up? The mouth and here, it's softer than usual. Did you loosen up all the way here when you showered?" 

"Why would I..... ah, stop!" 

"What do you mean stop? Don't you like it? Here, see, yours already hard."

He hugged Yugeon even tighter, who was wriggling around, twisting his body so that he could escape from him. When his fingers inside pressed around the twitching inner wall, the struggle intensified. On the wide bed, the two pairs of legs tangled as if they were playing around, making wrinkles on the sheet. Yugeon took a deep breath, trying to relax, and looked back at him. The corners of his eyes had gotten a little red. 

"That thing." 

"Eung, that thing." 

"Isn't it just an excuse?" 

"Really?" 

"It's just an excuse. You were going to do this from the beginning..." 

"Now you know? What to do with my Yugeon-ie? You might know how to shoot or swing a knife, but you really have no tact in things like this."

Shinje drooped his eyes as if he was truly sorry. 

".....no wonder you got entangled with something like me and ruined your life." 

At the end of his words, something hot and blunt pushed between his buttocks. Yugeon reflexively swallowed his breath, and tightened his lower belly. It was a response learned through many experiences. 

"Ah-eug!" 

Shinje spread one hand and covered Yugeon's lower belly, and pushed his dick in inch by inch. As if he wanted to check how his insides would react, not only with his dick, but also with the palm of his hand. Shinje had a slightly higher body temperature than Yugeon, making his entire lower abdomen felt like it had been burned from the heat of his palm. 

Yugeon knew it wasn't possible, but he felt as if Shinje's cock and his palm were almost touching, with only the thin belly skin and muscles in between. The cock that was breaching him felt too overwhelmingly heavy, like if he flinched even a little, Shinje might feel it immediately. As soon as he was aware of it, his insides became uncontrollably sensitive. Even as he desperately tried to relax, his body had stiffened up even more.  

"Heu, eub." 

Yugeon whimpered and tilted his head, resting  the back of his head against Shinje's neck. His Adam's apple rose and fell as he swallowed the dry saliva pooling in his mouth. The sensations of the narrow gaps in his body being forcibly split open and filled by others was difficult to adapt to no matter how many times he went through. The impossible hallucination of the engorged dick working him open, eventually piercing his insides, and stirring the entire body covered in blood, flashed past his eyes like a terrible nightmare. 

Shinje's cock, pressing inside slowly and persistently, abruptly stopped, stuck somewhere inside. The shock made his entire lower belly tingle. Yugeon bit his lip and clamped down on the dick tightly. 

"Ah..." 

Shinje also groaned softly. The man's low-pitched moan heard close to his ears sent shudders down his spine. Shinje then took a long breath and pulled out a little.  

"How come I can never just ram it in all at once." 

"What..... eug, what?" 

Yugeon replied blankly. His eyes had already glazed over. It was obvious he didn't understand what he was talking about. Shinje let out a soft chuckle. 

"Your insides are just like you." 

As if to soothe him, he gently stroked and palmed Yugeon's dick, and after slightly changing the angle, he bucked his waist again. Extremely slow, and never rushing. If it weren't for a hint of pain from his rim from being split open, Yugeon thought he would have forgotten that they were having sex. How long had it been like that? Eventually, Shinje's pelvis hit his buttocks. 

Yugeon exhaled a dry breath. He put his hand on top of Shinje's hand wrapped around his belly. Whenever he tried to take a deep breath, even a little bit, his inner walls would tighten up so badly, that he didn't even dare to take one. 

When are you going to start moving? Yugeon closed his eyes tightly and braced himself for the mind-blowing stimuli that would follow. However, the heavy cock, with the tip of it bulging a little near the top of his navel, showed no sign of coming out again. It only wriggled intermittently, as if reminding him not to forget its existence. It was taking too long to say that Shinje was just trying to give him time to get used to the size. 

Something was weird. Yugeon looked back, gripping Shinje's hand and moaning under his breath. And found the problem. Shinje, who had pressed his cheek against his temple, was sleeping so peacefully with his eyes shut. 

"....."

His heart sank. Don't tell me you are going to sleep like this. After shoving his dick inside that he can't even properly breath? Are you crazy? 

"You..."

Yugeon tried to wake Shinje up, his voice choking. He even tapped the back of his big hand covering his lower abdomen. However, Shinje was immovable. Yugeon bit down on his lower lip, his breaths coming out short with panic. 

"Aheug, eug, ah!" 

Yugeon tried to twist himself out of his iron grip. But it was futile. It was instead only making it more painful, since he was practically thrashing around with Shinje's dick shoved inside. 

"If you're going to sleep, take this out..... please wake up... heug." 

Even though Shinje was asleep, his cock showed no sign of flagging. Rather, it seemed to be getting bigger the more he moved around. It was nauseating to the point where he thought he might even retch. Meanwhile, precum was dripping down from his neglected cock.  

"Fuck..... heuheug, god damn it, Woo Shinje." 

Yugeon gritted his teeth, trapped in Shinje's arms. If it was this difficult to remove the cock, he at least wanted to loosen the arm wrapped around his waist, but Shinje's arm didn't budge a bit. Stomping and kicking Shinje's calves and thighs with his heels also didn't work. The pectoral muscles rubbing against his bare back were so stiff and muscular that he got angrier for no reason. 

He felt this whenever this kind of thing happened. When dealing with Yugeon, Shinje was always controlling his strength, even in the most trivial stuff. He would pull back if Yugeon pushed him, he would lean down obediently if Yugeon grabbed his collar and pulled him down. They were all thoroughly calculated moves. 

A guide whose physical abilities were no different from those of ordinary people, and an S-class Awakened. There was an insurmountable gap between the two. If Shinje wanted to do so, he could easily kill Yugeon as many times as he wanted. As easily as blinking.  

After an unsuccessful escape attempt, Yugeon finally decided to give up and slumped down. If he didn't want to wake up, he wouldn't wake up. If he didn't want to be pushed back, he wouldn't be pushed back. It was no longer worth it to be this desperate. How come this guy always had this much stamina? Just having his dick inside him was already making him short of breath, his inner walls throbbing. 

"Haa....." 

Yugeon curled up and let out a hot breath. The way he braced himself with his eyes tightly closed was as if he was being tortured. His hair, which had just been washed and dried, was now wet again with sweat, while his ears and cheeks were all flushed red. 

Yugeon tried to find a position that would make him feel less sensitive. But even that didn't work out. The inner walls kept twitching and spasming, contracting at the slightest movement, clamping down on Shinje's dick tightly. All he could do at the time was to endure the stinging pleasure starting from his lower abdomen spreading to his fingertips and tiptoes all on his own. 

Yugeon thought he might really die at this rate. He finally reached out to his painfully hard cock. He wondered if it would be a little better if he could at least relieve the soaring heat that seemed to have no end in sight. Precum leaking out of his cock was not just a drop or two, but it was already dripping and wetting the entire length. 

"Heu, eu..... eueung." 

He began to masturbate with Shinje's cock stuffed full in his hole. He kept his moans as quiet as possible, still aware of the fact that if Shinje caught him doing this, it would be extremely embarrassing and he would definitely be endlessly teased by him. He clumsily wrapped his fingers around his cock and stroked it up and down. 

Immediately, the numbing pleasure overwhelmed him, bringing tears to his eyes. He spurred his hand in tugging and pumping his cock, lusting after constant stimulation. Yugeon had already forgotten to be careful and not to be caught, and gradually became intoxicated with pleasure. His moans were getting higher and higher, and between his thighs were now slippery with sweat. His lower belly wrapped in Shinje's warm hand was also similarly sweaty. 

"Eug, ah, ahah, ah!" 

Yugeon had started unconsciously pushing down his hips at one point, fucking himself on Shinje's dick. Just being able to grind his heated insides against the engorged head was enough. Pleasure quickly soared when stimulated from both his back and front. 

If he continued touching himself, the climax would come sooner or later. With the peak just ahead, Yugeon could no longer see or hear a thing.....  It was when he felt Shinje's arm wrapped around his waist slowly loosened. There was no time to check whether he was awake or not. All he could think was he had to free himself from his grip now. 

Yugeon let go of his twitching length. Instead, he reached forward and grabbed the bedding. He crawled up, making many wrinkles on the sheet. His thighs were trembling too much, and his cock was spilling watery precum between his legs. Due to the lack of lube, Shinje's cock which had been shoved inside dry slowly came out as if scraping out his insides. Feeling as if all his guts were being pulled out, his eyes went blurred, and his head light-headed. Finally, when only the thickest glans were left.   

"Ha...." 

Yugeon then heard a muffled laugh from behind. 

"I was going to wait and see what you will do if I leave you all alone... but I can't hold myself back any longer." 

He felt Shinje's arms wrapped around his waist once again. Since he couldn't take a proper breath, he was terribly aware of the shape of the cock inside. He could feel Shinje's heartbeat through his back. And, the next moment.....

"Ha-eug!" 

Shinje slammed the length of his cock that had been pulled out back inside without any warning. For a split second, Yugeon's vision turned black. 

"Ah." 

What he had been holding back immediately came undone. He couldn't even think of closing his open mouth. Yugeon stared blankly at the empty space with unfocused eyes. It was as if a water balloon filled with hot water had burst inside his stomach. The heat that started in the middle of his body spread through the nerves throughout his entire body. His hips, then thighs, faster, finally to his fingertips and tiptoes. The spasms in his limbs got worse and worse.  

"Ah, ah, ah..." 

The spine-chilling pleasure reached the brain last. He closed his eyes, his lower lip quivering. Yugeon finally peaked, his painfully erect dick twitching in the air, shockwaves gripping his body. 

"Ah! Heu, ah, ahahah!" 

The climax that was given after a long agony was terrifyingly intense. Yugeon convulsed in Shinje's embrace drowning in pleasure, his hole clamping down tight on his cock as if he could sever it off. Ten toes spread out and thin bones stood on top of his foot. 

Shinje rammed his throbbing cock in and out a few times, paused, then pounded him deep again, and paused. Thoroughly enjoying the soft insides fluttering around his cock, clenching down sweetly. Yugeon's back and waist trembling, his inner walls contracting in a constant rhythm, the way he was holding back his sobs in his throat were all felt through the palm of his hand placed on Yugeon's soft lower belly. Shinje thought he could even come with just this. 

"Haaa, ha..." 

Even after the climax subsided, Yugeon was still limp and unable to move for a long while. If he thought about it, he had only come once, but he was stuck on Shinje's dick for a good while and also spent half of it touching himself, so even though Shinje didn't properly fuck him, he was utterly exhausted. 

Since he was lying on his side, Yugeon's release had drawn a long, vertical trajectory from his rounded tip and onto the blankets. Shinje grabbed his now soft cock, and swept it from bottom to top, collecting the sticky release in his palm. 

"That's a lot. Messy and dripping all over the place.... so cute." 

Shinje spread open Yugeon's buttocks and gently pulled out his cock. A heavy cock, still flushed red and hard and slick with precum, slowly came out. He felt a little apologetic when he saw Yugeon's hole gaping a little and twitching finely after it was forcibly stretched to the limit to keep something like this inside. 

Shinje licked the sticky semen on his palm and looked at his guide in front of him. Yugeon had curled up small and was breathing hard, his shoulders moving up and down. Even though only the back of his head could be seen from behind, somehow he thought he could read his expression. He must be relieved thinking it was over. He didn't know if Yugeon was aware of it, but his wet hole, that had still not fully closed yet, was twitching in sync with his breaths. 

"How can I let you go outside? It won't be enough even if I chain you to the bed for the rest of your life."

They had a bet between them in the early days of their relationship. Shinje had shoved Yugeon into the middle of Erewhon Team 1, saying he would save him if he just held his hand, and Yugeon held out until the end, slapping away his hand, even though he was repeatedly violated and passed around..... It was an awfully vulgar and wretched bet, all the odds were against Yugeon in particular. The bet, however, ended with Yugeon's victory. In the end, Yugeon did not say a single word that he would take Shinje's hand. What was with that pride? Shinje hated Yugeon's tenacity that wouldn't be broken no matter how hard he tried. But at the same time, he also fell in love. 

Their bet might be over, but even after that, Shinje sometimes made bets with himself on what Yugeon might do. It was actually more of a test than a bet. He had been constantly testing Yugeon without letting him know of it. 

Every time he opened the front door after leaving Yugeon alone at home for quite some time, he would guess whether the house would be empty or not. Pretending to fall asleep defenselessly in front of Yugeon, he gauged whether or not Yugeon would actually try to end his life this time. Even though he knew that Yugeon was on the phone with Taein, he had deliberately continued to act asleep because he wanted to confirm that Yugeon wouldn't be happy with anyone other than him. 

Yugeon wasn't aware of it. No, he must know. It might be that he must be quietly adjusting to him. Just like Shinje, Yugeon's affection must be broken somehow. Yugeon, his guide, now gasping in his arms, who was still painfully honest and upright despite carrying all sorts of hideous obsessions, love and hatred on his back was unbearably lovely. A faint smile appeared on Shinje's lips.  

"No. I'll let you out. I'll have to let you out. Whatever you want....." 

He then grabbed his own cock with his hand still wet with Yugeon's climax. The sticky release dripped down from the rounded tip. It was an extremely obscene form of baptism. Then he pumped his own cock, covering the entire length with it, and without missing an inch. Feeling strange, Yugeon tried to look behind him. However, Shinje was a little faster. Shinje pressed his now slippery glans lubed with Yugeon's release against his hole, adjusted the angle, and thrusted in. 

"Ah!" 

After carelessly looking back at Shinje, Yugeon closed his eyes and turned his head to the front again. Every once in a while, Shinje would have a foreign glint in his eyes, and whenever that happened, the bare face of the beast, always hidden under a well-decorated smile, would be revealed. Crossbreeding, at times like this, he had no choice, but to think of that word. Shinje huffed out a laugh. 

"Why are you so scared, Yugeon-ah? Relax a bit. If someone saw us, they might think I'm eating you." 

Shinje gently nibbled Yugeon's earlobe with his front teeth. He lifted up Yugeon's thigh with one hand and fixed him in place, while pinching and rubbing his nipples with his other hand, which were all already too sensitive that Yugeon thought they might even pop. Shinje didn't want Yugeon to finish quickly this time, so he reached down and gently squeezed the tip of his glans. Shinje's hand tugging his cock was unbelievably hot. 

Sharp pleasure was then trapped inside the urethra and shattered. All Yugeon could do was writhing in Shinje's arms and letting out frantic moans. He had to ask about the call from earlier, he shouldn't forget it. Even after repeating it in his mind several times, that thought soon became blurred in the end. Gentle light poured over his closed eyelids. 

Yugeon had to wash up again not long after taking a shower. He led his tired body to the living room and saw Shinje standing in the kitchen on the other side. 

Lately, Shinje had been having fun feeding Yugeon with his own cooking. Contrary to the first impression where he had thought he wouldn't even pour a glass of water with his own hands, the man surprisingly knew how to cook a few simple dishes. But even so, it was literally at the simplest level. Salad with bacon and toast, and sometimes fried rice topped with eggs.  

If he wanted, he could have easily invited a chef to their house and enjoy a sumptuous meal everyday, but Shinje insisted on standing in front of the counter every morning. Rather than enjoying cooking itself, it seemed to be that he just liked to see Yugeon eating the food he prepared. 

And that was not all. Whenever Shinje came back from his trips, like a habit, he would bring back snacks he thought Yugeon might like. Sometimes it would be meringue cookies, sometimes fruits, jelly, or chocolate. Then, pulling Yugeon onto his lap, he would open the packages and feed him one by one. Just as Yugeon gained a hobby of studying, Shinje now had a hobby feeding Yugeon anything new he could get hands on. 

"Can I help?" 

Yugeon went up to him crossing the living room. He hadn't really done any household chores since he had moved in with Shinje, but in fact, Yugeon would be far more knowledgeable about housework than he was. 

Shinje, who looked like he was wrestling with many bottles of dressing, glanced at him. 

"Hmm... I don't know, what can I ask for your help?" 

"Anything." 

Shinje tapped his cheeks as if he had been waiting. 

"Then will you give me a kiss? I think it'll help a lot." 

Yugeon's expression crumpled as if he had heard something he shouldn't have.

"I'll just do it myself." 

"Do you know how to cook?" 

"Between my brother and I, which one of us did you think cooked for us? And you, do you even know how to do dishes? What about cleaning and doing laundry?" 

Yugeon glanced at Shinje's hands. Fitting the man's physique, they were big and stretched out at the joints, but unlike Yugeon's, they had no scars or calluses. Rather than doing chores in the kitchen, Yugeon thought elegantly holding a fancy fountain pen or being wrapped in leather gloves would be more appropriate for them. 

"What are you doing, cooking with those hands?" 

Yugeon reached out, picked up a dressing bottle, and cast it aside. Shinje had a blank look on his face. Who would have imagined that the first and last S-class test subject created by the Awakening Management Headquarters and the Head of Erewhon would be scolded for such a trivial thing. And that to a guide who was a lot younger than himself.  

Yugeon left Shinje standing near the counter alone, and set the table. Two pairs of salad bowls, cutlery, glass cups, and a plate of toast were placed on the empty marble table. 

"Yugeon-ah. Are my hands pretty?" 

Shinje asked from over his shoulder. He tried to ignore him. No matter what he answered, it was obvious he would be teased. 

"Hm?" 

"....." 

"Aside from my hands?" 

"....." 

"You also said my face was pretty before. Where else is pretty?" 

What was this guy on again? He really should make him stop talking nonsense and just eat. But before he could, his wrist was caught and his body was turned around. There was no time to react. What are you doing, cooking with those hands? Those same hands that he thoughtlessly commented were now holding Yugeon's arms very lightly. But he was also sure that if the man applied even the slightest force to his hands, Yugeon's own wrist would be crushed in an instant. 

Gray eyes were looking down at him. His eyes were gleaming beautifully with the sunlight coming through the living room windows, but at the same time, Yugeon thought they would have looked dreary if seen from the other angle. 

"I asked where else do I look pretty?" 

Half mesmerized by the eyes, Yugeon didn't even notice that his upper body had been slowly leaning backwards. He was then gently laid on the empty space on the table. Wearing only a thin T-shirt, he shuddered at the feeling of the cold marble on his back. 

I might really be devoured at this rate. The thought suddenly came to mind. Without any basis, instinctively. He had to come up with something before Shinje chewed him up, everything from head to toe, without leaving a single bone fragment. 

"Eyes..." 

He muttered whatever came to mind. He couldn't even think of avoiding Shinje's gaze casting a shadow over him. He knew, the moment he took his eyes off him, the precarious balance between them would be broken. 

"Eyes?" 

Shinje lowered his upper body a little more. The gap between their faces narrowed to less than an inch. Yugeon was in a position where he was stuck between Shinje and the marble table. He could see himself reflected in Shinje's bright irises. 

"Do you like these eyes?" 

".....Yes." 

Shinje then raised his hand, brought it to his eyes, and asked in a calm voice. 

"Do you want it? Which one? Or both?" 

"What the....." 

"You said my eyes are pretty." 

"....."

Yugeon licked his lips in dismay. Shinje's face overlapped with the memory of him holding a paper knife and slicing his flesh without hesitation. His heartbeats were getting faster and faster. Shinje's pale and well-groomed fingertips drew closer to his face, as if they were about to pluck his own eyeballs at any second..... 

"Just kidding." 

The hand suddenly retreated. Shinje quickly straightened up, and Yugeon was left lying awkwardly on the marble table, staring blankly at him as he moved away. 

"Please continue to love me a lot in the future. If there is anything you want to take from me, feel free to tell me." 

"....."

"Sit down now. The food's getting cold. It's best to eat while it's warm." 

Shinje calmly sat down at the table. Looking down at the appetizing breakfast set on the table, Yugeon also pulled out a chair, gritting his teeth. 

"What did you mean by that earlier?" 

"Exactly what it means." 

"Were you going to pluck out your eyes and give them to me?" 

"Because you won't leave me if you have something you like, my face, eyes, or whatever." 

The contract that forcibly bound the two had already ended. Nonetheless, Yugeon chose to return to Shinje's side on his own. Yugeon wasn't the type to say anything he couldn't take responsibility for, even if he had to remain silent forever. For that, Shinje knew Yugeon would never leave him no matter what. 

However, even though he knew it, sometimes, uncontrollable urges would surge up. There were still a lot of people in the world who still desired Yugeon. Starting from the bugs that dared to lay a finger on him, and to the members of Erewhon Team 1. They were now living far apart, and had no chance to accidentally run into each other, but if they and Yugeon meet again, they might harbor useless thoughts again. Joo Taein, Yoon Chan, and Kwon Heesu, he should have killed those guys in Mazzaroth before they could escape. He could have done that if only he hadn't been injured at the end of the raid, it was regrettable. 

"Shall I be honest?" 

Shinje continued nonchalantly, resting his chin on one hand. He picked up the juice bottle and filled Yugeon's glass. 

"I want to put you in shackles and lock you in the bedroom. Instead of cute shackles like that necklace, it would be something heavy enough that you can't move or leave, so that no one but me will be able to see or touch you for the rest of your life. If you keep trying to resist, I'll cut off the nerves in your limbs, but there'd be no trouble if you can keep talking, guiding, and hugging me, right? And if you are having a hard time, I can easily call someone with healing skills and attach them again."

"....."

"To tell the truth, there were actually a few times I tried to do it, but I failed every time. Whenever I open the door, you would be there waiting for me and welcoming me home. You are just so cute I couldn't bring myself to do it." 

"....." 

"That's why I also have to do well. Since I know my Yugeon-ie isn't going anywhere..... Now, shall we have breakfast? Ah." 

He dipped a piece of fruit on the salad with a fork and held it out. But Yugeon didn't budge. Instead of accepting and eating the fruit he offered, he just stared at him. 

"Ah?" 

He tilted his head as if urging. Yugeon still didn't respond. Shinje smiled and put down the fork. 

"Surprised? What's new with that? You know I'm crazy."

"Like that, easily." 

Yugeon finally opened his mouth. 

"If I could have left you that easily, I would have left already. If I no longer think you are pretty, or like you anymore, just for that reason, if you think I'm going to leave, I would have already done it, a long time ago....."

"....."

"Woo Shinje, you know that. Just as you have no choice but me, I also have no choice but you. There's no other option, because you've eliminated them all." 

"Yeah... I did." 

Shinje loosened his legs that he had crossed under the table and leaned his upper body slightly forward. 

"Guide Baek Yugeon." 

"Yes?" 

"Do you want to kiss me?" 

"At the dinner table? I don't want to." 

"I want to. Now." 

"I'm going to eat. Please stop talking nonsense." 

"Ah, you are so mean." 

He sighed and held out his fork again. This time, Yugeon didn't refuse and opened his mouth. 

"The phone call a while ago." 

Unexpectedly, Shinje brought it up himself. Yugeon's hand, absently playing with the spoon, stopped. He didn't expect him to open his mouth first.  

"It's about Erewhon." 

"Is that so?" 

"I guess we will be getting together later this evening. All of Team 1, and a few other members who are still alive. It will be the last meeting I will host."

The last. He brought it up lightly, but it was something that couldn't be taken as such. 

"Now, I'm really going to wrap it all up." 

"....."

"I'm going to organize everything today. I have already handed over the shares, and officially stepped down from my seat. Actually, I was going to go alone after taking Guide Baek Yugeon to the charnel house..... Well, let's just go together. I can't just leave you out now since I've been caught."

He made Erewhon at the age of eighteen. It must have been a time when he had just got out of the laboratory where he had been raised as a weapon for all his life, he mustn't even have the miniscule amount of humanity in his bones, and all he possessed was the colossal capability to kill. It was impossible for Yugeon to imagine what kind of determination he must have had at that time, and what he must have been through, recklessly rolling and crashing on the unfamiliar battleground. 

To Shinje, Erewhon was more than just a Hunting Order. Humans and mutants, Brigadier General Woo Seongyeon and Almuten, Awakened and Guides..... All his hatred for this infinitely corrupted and twisted world was condensed there. Erewhon, or Nowhere. He defined this world as a dystopia that shouldn't exist at all. And when everything was over, he wanted to reach nowhere, that was, death. 

But now he wanted to get out of Erewhon on his own. Contrary to his original goal, he now desperately wished to stay alive, by Yugeon's side. 

"What should I do now? I look unemployed." 

Shinje let out a heavy sigh. Yugeon picked up the fork without so much a blink. He knew the cash accumulated by Shinje was enormous. In addition, if he added all the assets such as stocks and real estate, the total would be about a year's budget for a small town. There was absolutely no need for that man to sigh like that. 

"I'll be a good housewife, so Guide Baek Yugeon has to feed me." [1] 

"Housewife?" 

"Eung. I'll be waiting for you at home." 

"How do I even feed you? It wouldn't make a difference to what you already have even if I added all the money I have. Make it make sense....."

"You're studying hard. You're going to college, too."

"I'm not going to college to feed you." 

"You have already accepted the rest of my life, you should have prepared this much." 

Shinje smiled brightly, resting his chin on his palms. On the other hand, Yugeon's expression became grim. It was true, but hearing it from Shinje's mouth sounded quite perverse for some reason. 

"Can I return it?" 

"It has already been opened, so it cannot be returned." 

"....." 

"It wasn't even opened just recently. A certain someone ripped open the wrapping paper and messed up everything inside. Don't you remember? When you raped me....."

"How long are you going to use that stupid story?!" 

A peaceful meal followed. Neither was the type to chat over meals. Only the clinking and cluttering of cutlery and the sound of pouring more juice into the glasses were intermittent. The warm sun shone white on their faces as they focused on their meal. It was a peculiar meal somewhere between the ordinary and the extraordinary.

Their car stopped in front of the charnel house. The charnel house was located at the foot of a mountain, away from the bustling city center. Except for the new-style buildings that had popped up in later years and the park surrounding them, the surroundings were all mountains.  

Shinje got off the driver's seat first and smoothly opened the passenger's door for Yugeon. Even though there was no need to do so, he always kept his manners. Soon after, Yugeon got off. He was dressed in a black suit with a white shirt underneath, and holding a bouquet of white chrysanthemums. Even the shoes looked new with shiny black gloss. He was perfectly dressed from head to toe, with only his tie missing. 

After a bout of rolling around in bed all morning, it was already noon after they finished their meal. Unintentionally, what they ate earlier had become an early lunch, no longer a breakfast. If they dragged their feet even more, they wouldn't be able to make it back in time. 

He had hurriedly put on the suit Shinje had tailored for him today. They also stopped by the flower shop to pick up the bouquet he had ordered in advance. It was all smooth sailing, until he stumbled on the tie. Yugeon, who had lived a life far from formal, didn't know how to wear a tie skillfully. He set out without it because he didn't have time.  

With the hand not holding the bouquet, he rummaged through his pants pocket and pulled out the black tie he had stuffed in before he left the house. Shinje huffed out a small laugh when he saw Yugeon trying to put the tie under the collar of his shirt with one hand. 

"Here." 

"....." 

Yugeon came and stood in front of Shinje without a word. It was cute to see him toddling over and standing quietly as if asking for it to be done quickly. 

He recognized it from the first time he put on Erewhon's uniform, but Yugeon looked really good in a suit. Hoodies and sweatshirts that he usually wore also look good on him, but as expected, shirts were perfect to show off his body.  

His waist clothed in a white dress shirt was peeking out through the jacket, which he had left open to put on the tie. His legs wrapped in straight-legged pants continued, and his ankles, wearing black socks, were slightly exposed under the hem of the pants. No slightest bit of bare skin was exposed, but somehow he still looked alluring. Perhaps because of his youthful face, he looked more like a young bodyguard than an office worker. To be honest, his body was too slim for an ordinary office worker anyway. 

"You could have easily asked me earlier, why do you insist on doing everything on your own?" 

Shinje's fingertips lifted the tie and skillfully made a knot. The distance between them was so close that their lips would touch if Yugeon just looked up.  If it wasn't for the big bouquet that was stuck between them, he might have already leaned down for a kiss a while ago. Yugeon replied, looking down at the tip of his shoes. 

"I thought I could tie it by myself." 

"Why?" 

Shinje responded softly, but did not stop moving his hands. 

"You always make it look so easy and effortless." 

His guide was good at handling everything that required dexterity, be it weapons or household items. Even he was impressed by his skill at using a revolver and a combat knife. Such a person was sounding so hesitant just because he couldn't even wear a tie. 

It was actually understandable when he thought about it. Yugeon never had a chance to wear a school uniform like normal boys his age, or to go to interviews as a newcomer to society. His father had passed away a long time ago, and growing up with an older brother in that condition, there must have been no older man in his life to teach him stuff like this. 

"It's easy once you get used to it." 

In less than a minute, a neat knot appeared under Yugeon's shirt collar. As it was such a place, he decided on a basic knot without being extra fancy. He finished it by pulling the lower part of the tie neatly once to secure the knot. Yugeon fiddled with the completed tie like he felt awkward, but immediately took his hand away when Shinje prompted him that the shape might be ruined. 

"And I can tie it for you every time." 

"No. I'll learn." 

"You don't want me to tie it for you?" 

"I don't want to be a burden to you even for small things like this." 

"What burden, I don't want you to weigh things like that between you and me." 

"Hyung didn't even know how to sweep a broom by himself. Because I did everything for him." 

It was rather abrupt. However, Shinje waited in silence for the words to follow, since it was extremely rare for Yugeon to willingly talk about his older brother first. Even when Heeseong was still alive and hospitalized, whenever others spoke of him carelessly, he would glare at them with eyes filled with hatred, and after his death, even hearing the slightest word about him would trigger a seizure.  

Since then, he had kept his mouth shut. He rarely ever mentioned anything about his older brother. Even though Shinje thought Yugeon had completely accepted his brother's death, he sometimes looked as if he was still walking on eggshells. But now that he had brought up something about his older brother first..... could he take it as a sign that he had overcome his wounds even if only a little?

"I didn't mind. Because hyung is often sick and I'm healthy, hyung doesn't like to move around, but I'm okay with it. I thought whoever that can do chores should do more. But after living like that for more than 10 years, hyung can no longer do anything without me." 

"....."

"Hyung would get annoyed if I came home even a little late. On the days when I get paid in exchange for holding the other Hunters' hands, he wouldn't let me come close to him, saying I'm dirty. At that time, I couldn't understand why hyung was acting like that. I was angry too. But now that I think about it, hyung was just, that was all he could do."

Heeseong couldn't go out of the house by himself because he was afraid of causing a rampage. Even if he wanted to buy something at the supermarket right in front of the house, he had to either wait for Yugeon and go with him or ask Yugeon to buy it for him. When Yugeon accidentally returned late, all his piled-up resentment and nervousness were poured out on his younger brother. 

"I thought maybe hyung and I..... made each other worse." 

Yugeon grew up enduring such a sibling in stony silence, bearing the brunt of Heeseong's mistakes, apologizing and beaten in his stead. As the years went by, Heeseong became overly sensitive and Yugeon became overly dull. Taking into account that the two brothers were Awakened and Guide respectively, one might even call it a deformed relationship. 

"I don't want to be a burden even more because it's between you and me." 

Yugeon looked up at the empty space as if recalling the past and smiled bitterly. 

"What if you are a burden? If it's such a cute burden, I think I can carry it around for the rest of my life." 

The word cute popped up again, at an unexpected timing. He wondered what kind of things Shinje found cute. Would he still say he was cute even if he saw him slitting a mutant's throat or firing bullets in its mouth? He wasn't sure, but he thought he might still say it. 

"But I have to do what Yugeon-ie says. Because love is something that is patient, kind, and doesn't envy." 

Shinje's thumb gently brushed the scar on his eyelid. Yugeon's eyelashes trembled like it was itchy. Still, he didn't tell him to stop. 

"Who said that?" 

"Someone who lives far away across the sea." 

"Is he the type of uncle who I shouldn't follow even if he buys me candy?" 

"No. He died a long time ago. I..... Almuten, ripped him to death." 

"....."

Shinje's words were always murky and puzzling. What was certain, however, was that at some point, he had stopped quoting passages from old scriptures and verses of poetry. The Bible and the Divine Comedy were things he read when he was fresh out of the center. It wasn't, of course, an elegant reading with the intent to build culture. It was more of a greedy predation in the form of type. He longed to be a human being, and he wanted to become a human from something non-human. That kind of thing, it was no longer necessary. 

"Now go in." 

"You aren't going with me?" 

Shinje smiled and shook his head. 

"I'll be waiting here."

He lowered his head and kissed Yugeon on the forehead. Yugeon glanced back at him a couple of times as he walked to the entrance of the charnel house. Shinje leaned his back against the car and waved his hand.

"Come back safely." 

Yugeon walked inside the building alone. It was a place he hadn't visited in a very long time. Besides, it was his first time coming alone since he had always been with Heeseong before. His older brother, who used to walk side by side with him, was now in there with his parents. When he thought about it, his heart ached as if it had been cut by a million papercuts. He had thought his heart had become dull, already having accepted the death of his family. 

Even though it was closed due to the threat of mutant species and only reopened after a long time, the inside of the charnel house had remained unchanged. Each section of the compartment contained someone's ashes. Yugeon stopped in front of one of them. Beyond the glass, there laid three urns made of pure white porcelain. Two looked quite old, and one was noticeably new. 

Unlike other compartments colorfully decorated with family photos or wreaths, this place was rather simple. Their photographs were printed on the surface of the urn, together with brief personal details. His parents and Heeseong had died suddenly, and all they had left behind were ID photos. His parents' were from resident registration cards, and Heeseong's was from Awakening registration card. Parents in their early 40s and their 29-year-old son were in one place, with only a 13 year gap. They didn't look at all like parents and children just by looking at the pictures. To strangers, they might have looked like uncle and nephew, or, in a way, siblings with a large age difference. 

"....."

Yugeon reached out his hand and touched the glass blocking him from the urns. Fingerprints were left behind on the well-polished glass without a speck of dust. How old was he when his parents died? The young child, engrossed in playing games in the back seat of the car, wearing a shirt with a cute puppy printed in front, before the disaster struck the entire family had now become a full-fledged adult, and had dressed up in a suit to meet his family. 

"Mother, father, brother. I'm here. It's nothing special..... but it's a gift. I thought if there are only three of you in that empty space, you'd feel lonely."

He carefully opened the glass window and placed the bouquet inside. Beautifully bundled snow white chrysanthemums were added to the plain space without any decorations. He continued, looking at the porcelain urns placed side by side. 

"Have you heard? The world has changed now. They say there are no new gates anymore. We no longer have to worry about getting ambushed by mutants. The things we were so scared of..... they are going to disappear little by little, slowly, but steadily."

Yugeon had never known a world where neither Awakened nor mutant species existed. The same went for his family who were only born many decades after the Outbreak. Remnants of the world before the catastrophe had been lost, occasionally found only in textbooks, newspapers, and news screens. 

Yugeon was left alone in an unknown world, and the trauma of that time and the longing for those who had left him are all the things that Yugeon had to carry with him for the rest of his life. 

"I'm scared. I'm scared to be left alone in a strange world..... and I'm scared because I don't know if I can be happy alone. If mom and dad are alive, why would you have told me now?" 

There were so many things he still didn't know. Why did some wounds heal quickly while others left scars? Should the outcome of all sins be either punished or forgiven, or must it be one or the other? Could affection mixed with impurities be even called love? 

They were all questions that couldn't be answered easily. Even Shinje, who would be waiting for him outside, would not know the answers. Then he.....

"For now, I'm going to live until I find the answers." 

If he lived, wouldn't he one day find the answers? In fact, he felt it might even be okay if he couldn't find them. There would still be something left behind just by trying to find the answer. Just as his life so far, which he had thought to be only a meaningless struggle, had been a long journey seeking light after all. 

"I'll come to see you again next time. Now that I can come visit you more often." 

Yugeon slid his hand down the glass window. A gentle mist appeared on the glass in the shape of his hand due to his body warmth and then slowly disappeared. He adjusted his posture, stood up straight, and then bowed his head. A soft smile crept across his lips for a moment. 

".....Please be happy there." 

His steps that turned around and left the charnel house were as deft and sharp as he had come in but somewhat, but surely, lighter than before. 

"He said they are on their way." 

"The Guide?" 

"Yes?" 

"Is Guide Baek Yugeon with him?" 

"Ah....." 

The Hunter, who looked perplexed at the question, made an expression like he understood only then. 

"Leader did say he'll be coming with ‘our Yugeon-ie’. He must have meant the exclusive guide-nim by that." 

".....I see." 

Taein, who had been listening to the story with a slight frown, nodded. The Hunter bowed politely and left. 

He sighed briefly and put down the half-empty glass. It was a bit of a rush, but a meeting was a meeting anyway. It might even be the last meeting for Erewhon. Even if he wasn't able to rent an upscale conference room in a modest building, he should at least keep the formality by not drinking alcohol. 

He was currently sitting at one of the tables in the spacious hall. It was a restaurant, bakery, cafe, and a bar all at once. A place that sold macarons, yogurt smoothies, kimchi fried rice, and strong liquor at the same time. The menu composition was obnoxiously questionable, he wasn't sure if the owner was actually trying to do business or not, but surprisingly, this place was always crowded with customers. It seemed that the guests who visited this place were as crazy as the owner. He had to pay more to cancel the reservations that had been made in advance since they were renting the whole place today. 

He looked down at the glass in front of him. His own image was reflected on the clear and transparent surface. He lightly tapped the glass with his fingertips. The surface rippled, and his face was no longer visible. 

On the day he sent Yugeon away to a distant place, he had an odd dream. It was a dream where his dead mother and little sister appeared. It was an odd one, for they looked nothing like them from the nightmares he had dreamed countless times over the past 20 years. Where they would almost always appear as terrible corpses, resenting and cursing Taein, clinging to his bedside all night long, screaming and crying until his ears were torn apart. 

But that night was different. In the dream, Taein was sitting alone at the dining table. In front of the kitchen counter, the two mother and daughter pair were chatting and cooking. His mother, who he could only remember dressed in formal suits and had particularly enjoyed wearing them, was wearing a comfortable casual outfit with an apron on for some reason, and Taejeong, his little sister, was giggling so hard about something he didn't know. The bubbling smell of kimchi stew filled the house.  

He felt left out for no reason. He thought he shouldn't just sit here like this. Taein pushed the chair back and stood halfway up. 

"I'll help too."

The mother and daughter turned around at the same time. With bright smiles on their faces, something he had never seen in any of his dreams in the past 20 years. 

"It's fine. Just sit down." 

"Oppa doesn't have to help."

"Why?"

Taein asked again, frozen in place, neither standing up nor sitting down. 

"Our Taein-ie, you've worked hard so far. Let us prepare the meal this time."

"Mom and I will cook yummy tuna kimchi stew for you!"

"Still....."

"Oppa, you know." 

Taejeong was still smiling. However, unlike before, when she just looked like an excited child, her eyes had become calm. 

"It will take a very long time to boil. There's still a long way to go. So don't think of coming here early, just stay there. Oppa can do that, right?"

Taejeong was only a kindergartner at the time of her death. How could a child like that say such a grown-up thing? It occurred to him that something was wrong. However, before Taein's sense of alienation could materialize, his mother chipped in. 

"Mom knows Taein-ie is good at his job. Taking care of Taejeong-ie when mom couldn't, I'm really proud of you. But that doesn't mean we can't do this without you, right?"

"......." 

"Mom and Taejeong-ie are fine. So you just do whatever you want until it's over. I'll call you when it's done." 

".....Are you really okay?"

"Yes, it's okay." 

His mother smiled. Taein could see the calm, subdued sorrow in her eyes. She then rolled up her sleeves briskly and turned back around, as if she had never done so. 

"We're cooking stew and rice, so let's have a delicious meal together later. Got it?" 

"Mom, mom! I want egg rolls too."

"My little princess wants to eat egg rolls? Sure. Then go get three eggs from the fridge over there for mom..... no, make it four." 

"Yes!"

Taein sat down again. Watching the backs of the two chattering ceaselessly. But unlike before, he was no longer lonely or anxious. Amidst the tranquility surrounding him, the affectionate voices drifted away little by little. 

It was just a strange dream. Having had all sorts of nightmares imaginable so far, it shouldn't come as a surprise that there might even be dreams like this. He tried to conclude so.  

He was still filling in for Shinje's vacant seat. With everyone left confused and exhausted after the Mazzaroth Raid, he firmly kept his feet on the ground, not letting Erewhon to splinter into a million pieces. From paying compensation to dead and injured Hunters, to recovering the burned down headquarters building, and reorganizing the Order that had suffered a devastating blow. 

It wasn't that he had any particular affection for Erewhon. It was just his responsibility. For only a sense of responsibility and guilt had been the driving forces behind his life so far. All he had to do was keep doing what he had always done mechanically, so there was nothing particularly difficult. 

There was a slight difference, however. The terrible nightmares that used to be impossible to endure without hurting himself were gradually disappearing. Drugs and alcohol doses he had religiously consumed had also noticeably decreased. The thought of wanting to die no longer crossed his mind like how it used to be every so often that he felt even strange. Since, if he wanted to die, now that everything was almost done, it was almost the perfect time for it. 

During the last moment sending Yugeon off, kissing the back of his hand was purely an impulse. The impulse that he couldn't understand himself even in retrospect. He could still remember Yugeon's tight lips, and his eyes staring straight at him. 

"Haa....." 

Taein sighed again, as it had become quite a habit. When they parted that day, he thought he would never run into Yugeon again. He even felt relieved by that fact. To be reunited in this way. It would be painful if Yugeon had changed in any way, but it would also be painful if he hadn't changed at all from how he had looked the last time they parted. 

"Already dragging down the mood, deputy chief? All the customers are going to run away." 

A grumbling voice was heard right next to him. Taein waved his hand annoyedly without even looking at him. He would rather not play along with that guy's nonsense. Chan laughed out loud. 

"Are you kicking out some junkies?"

Chan was wearing a plain T-shirt and a jumper. It was in stark contrast to Taein, who had neatly combed back his dark brown hair and dressed in a suit and a coat. When they were wearing uniforms, they were at least tied together under the name Erewhon, but now they looked as disparate as if they were cut and pasted from different photographs. 

"Isn't it time to be a little bit more friendly? It's not like we will be seeing each other a lot in the future."

"We will be out of business soon enough, I don't feel the need to do that." 

"Yeah, yeah. Not that I'm surprised." 

"....." 

"We never really like each other anyway." 

Even while complaining, Chan took a seat and sat down without hesitation. He didn't want to sit opposite or next to Taein, so he chose an awkward diagonal seat. He then called a waiter and ordered a dark beer. Taein frowned. 

"Where are your manners? Don't you know it's before the meeting?" 

"Back to you. And this is just barley tea. Deputy chief is also chugging whiskey raw, too." 

The relationship between Taein and Chan had always been ambiguous and somewhat cold. They were never openly hostile, but there was no friendliness of colleagues. Still, they managed to live under the same roof for many years somehow since they didn't want to do anything with each other. An example would be if Chan heard snide remarks from Shinje, he would immediately respond without holding back, but if Taein was the opponent, he would ignore him completely like it wasn't worth his time.  

On the day when Chan and Taein took on the task to take exhausted Yugeon to wash him, a small crack first appeared on the glass surface of the precarious balance between them. Soon after that, Chan went out with Yugeon and lost him. After a gruesome fight with blood splattered and broken bones, the carefully maintained relationship was finally shattered. 

From that day on, there was no longer a need to keep up the facades. It was even worse now since the attack on Mazzaroth was over and Erewhon was in the process of being dismantled. Now that there was no need to consider each other's status or face, Taein no longer hid his disapproval of Chan, and Chan had also completely abandoned the minimum courtesy to the Deputy Chief title. 

It was then a series of vibrations rang from Chan's pocket. He turned off his phone without even checking it properly. 

"Who's that?" 

"Home." 

Chan shrugged his shoulders. He was the only one in Team 1 whose family was alive and well. Although it'd been quite some time since the contact was cut off.  

The parents were delighted at first when their son awakened as an S-rank. Not long after, however, they became reluctant to accept him, and came to be terrified of him. Chan, who was turning into a vicious beast at any time, no longer resembled the son they gave birth to and raised in their eyes. Chan, who was at the time terribly stressed as a teenager stuck in a hostile organization while being forced to carry out life-and-death battles, also exploded when faced with his parents' coldness. Since then, they hadn't exchanged hello once for more than a decade. 

But after the attack on Mazzaroth, he decided to return to his family. He had already achieved his goal of killing Almuten, and even Shinje, the founding member, had left, there was no reason for him to remain in Erewhon. 

It was very awkward at first. Even with strangers, it couldn't be more awkward than this. The family couldn't even make eye contact with him, let alone talk to him in a friendly way. Chan regretted it. It wasn't as if he had no money saved up. He thought he should have just bought a separate house and lived alone. 

However, that thought disappeared the moment Chan swung open the door of his old room he had used before awakening. He had assumed that all of his stuff had already been thrown away and was being used as a storage room, but everything remained the same as he had left. Blankets and pillows, gaming consoles stacked next to the computer, and workbooks that looked completely new except for the first few pages with black edges. Even his old school uniform was neatly ironed and hung up. It was as if time had gone back to when he was seventeen. 

"....."

Chan, frozen in the doorway, turned his head back. His father and mother were watching him with an anxious look on their faces behind him. They looked smaller and older than Chan remembered. How long had it been? Chan, looking down at them with ferocious eyes, finally couldn't stand the silence and shouted out loud. 

"Ah, come on! Since when did mom and dad start acting self-conscious like this. It doesn't look good on you."

"Chan-ah, we...."

"Let's not be gross and do what we normally do, yeah? And what's this? Your son is already over 30. Why do you still keep his school uniform? I thought you guys spawned another one!"

It was a de facto declaration of reconciliation. 

"It's probably just nagging. Asking if I'm out drinking again, or where I'm bumming around again, like that stuff. My back is still stinging from her slap earlier. Damn, that ajumma..... I don't know where she still gets that strength."

Chan put on a pretense as if he was really hurt and patted his back over his shoulder. No matter how many times or how hard he got slapped on the back by his mother, it wouldn't have hurt him even a little. Taein faintly twisted his lips. It was quite amusing to see Chan hiding his sincerity behind his harsh words and actions. He must have let Yugeon go in the same manner.  

"That Woo Shinje. Have you contacted him? Is he coming?" 

Taein nodded instead of answering. 

"Damn, so I'll finally see that leader bastard's face today. Really hope he got into an accident on the way and just dropped dead."

The muttered words under his breath were all jam-packed with animosity. One wouldn't be able to detect the affinity for a friend with whom he had shared joys and sorrows for more than a decade even after washing their eyes twice. 

"Guide Baek Yugeon is coming with him. You want him to die too?" 

".....what?" 

Taein just threw out the words like it wasn't a big deal, but to Chan, it was nothing short of a bombshell. 

"What, uh, yeah? Who, who's coming?" 

Chan stuttered and asked again. Taein, who only now felt something was wrong, properly looked at him.

"Fuck, you should have told me earlier!" 

"What if I told you earlier? And please mind your words, won't you?" 

"Then I wouldn't have come, no, I'm not saying I won't come, ha, I'm screwed. After saying shit like that, how am I going to face him.... shit!" 

Before Taein could finish his words, Chan jumped out of his seat and stood up. The strength behind was unnecessary, and the chair tumbled back with a loud bang. Taein felt the clumsy vibrations from the table. All the eyes of the Erewhon members, who had been chattering among their own groups scattered throughout the spacious hall, landed on their table. 

Taein's eyes followed Chan's back as he angrily stomped somewhere with his nape blushing red. Judging from how he overreacted to Yugeon's name, something must have happened between them. 

"....."

Actually, he didn't even want to know. What that guy did was none of his business, even if Chan went somewhere and decided to drop dead right away. Taein neatly collected his dispersed thoughts.  

He glanced at his watch as he gestured away the waiter who was on their way to bring a glass of ice-cold dark beer to his table. There was not much time left for Shinje and Yugeon to arrive.  

"Good evening, sir." 

"Good evening!" 

Greetings came to them as soon as they stepped foot into the entrance. The Hunters who had been chatting while sitting in groups of twos and threes at the tables jumped to their feet. Shinje walked in, familiar with receiving courteous greetings pouring in from all sides. The man who had always shone brightly even when he was wearing the same achromatic uniform was even more dazzling when he was dressed in plain clothes. They arrived at the time when they mainly served liquor, so the lights in the hall had already been dimmed. 

Shinje had certainly changed a lot in recent days that anyone could easily notice. The breathtaking beauty remained the same, but the deceptive madness that made him seem as if he was walking dangerously on a blade had disappeared. A sense of tranquility instead filled its place. Like a man who had found peace to settle down after a long wandering. 

Those who didn't know the depths of the situation were relieved, saying they were glad the leader seemed to be doing well. Members of Erewhon Team 1, however, found his change just abominable, knowing where that sense of stability came from. 

One more person came in following Shinje. People who hadn't heard the news that Yugeon was coming looked surprised, murmuring under their breaths. 

Yugeon was dressed in a black suit. Erewhon's uniform was also a combination of shirt and slacks, and Taein too had bought him several simple yet stylish clothes when he first joined them, but they had never seen him wearing a suit jacket and tie. He walked in while fiddling with his tie with a slight frown, perhaps uncomfortable with it, and even that oddly didn't look unsuited with his usual demeanor. 

Yugeon met Taein's eyes for a few seconds over the crowd of people. Taein stared at him for a few seconds, and turned his eyes away as if nothing had happened. It was a brief, but still a gentle gaze. 

"Hi, everyone. It's been a long time since we've gathered in one place like this."

Shinje deftly wrapped his arm around Yugeon's waist and gently tugged him so that he was standing next to him. 

"This is my guide. I'm sure some people have already seen him while others may not have. He's Team 1's one and only exclusive guide and a comrade in the last raid. I believe he's well qualified to be here." 

"Of course! Good evening, guide-nim." 

"Do you remember treating me back then?" 

Although it wasn't as loud as when Shinje came in, the greetings were still rowdy and enthusiastic nonetheless. Yugeon hesitated a little and bowed his head to greet back.  

"Good evening." 

Amid the chaos on all sides, a pleasant, silvery exclamation cut in. 

"Ah? What's this?" 

A young man wearing oven mitts and wearing a pastel color apron was standing all the way back. He looked as if he had just come out of the kitchen, with a tray full of dishes like pasta and pizza in his hands. He looked younger than the average age of all Hunters present in the hall. The dot on the bridge of his nose, which drew a sharp line, stood out under the subtle lightning. 

"I thought I heard Yugeon hyung's voice earlier." 

But what stood out the most was his eyes. Milk chocolate-colored eyes, once very clear and distinct, were now difficult to tell the pupils and irises apart from each other. Anyone who saw him could see that they were not normal. Hessu walked out to the center of the hall and looked around.  

"I heard him clearly. Did I hear it wrong?" 

"....." 

Yugeon stiffened up at those words, forgetting even to breathe. His throat felt tight. As if there was an invisible hand pressing down on his airway. 

He had already seen several injured people while he was following Shinje inside from behind. There were people who looked even worse than Heesu. People whose arms or legs completely blown off, and those who had half of their faces disfigured, swept away by an explosion. Perhaps because of his high rank, Heesu still looked comparably better. 

Unlike the others, however, Heesu's injury was clearly his fault. It was the first time he ever had to witness someone seriously get injured trying to rescue him and resulted in a permanent disability. An indescribable pain weighed down on his chest. 

He still could clearly remember the sight of two small explosions that went off near Heesu's eyes, the shredded fragments of the eyeballs bursting out in all directions, and the blood splattering to the ground. If only Yugeon had been careful and hadn't been exposed to Almuten's gaze, if only he had avoided them at the right time, Heesu's eyes would still be fine today.  

The last image of Heesu that Yugeon remembered was him still bedridden without regaining consciousness. Even then, Heesu had thick bandages wrapped around his eyes. He left without knowing what had happened under those bandages. He was told that Heesu had regained consciousness and could now move properly, but he didn't know that his eyes had ended up like this. 

Heesu walked over to a nearby table and stuttered down the tray. Then, he looked around, muttering to himself. 

"I must have heard wrong....." 

Yugeon had frozen up in place, staring blankly, as Heesu approached, not noticing the countless eyes on him. 

"....." 

He opened his mouth, wanting to say something. But no sound came out. He didn't make any noise, but Heesu slowly turned towards Yugeon. It was when he noticed a tinge of light returning to those hazy eyes. Something is strange.... The instant he felt as such. 

"Puahaha, haha, ahahaha!" 

Heesu suddenly burst out laughing, grabbing his stomach. Unable to comprehend the situation, Yugeon faltered back. Heesu then tugged his wrist and hugged him tightly until their chests were touching each other. Yugeon could feel every little tremor from him every time he burst into unrestrained laughter. 

"Ah, Yugeon hyung. What to do with you? So cute!" 

"What?" 

"Why is hyung still cute? How can you be this cute? What should I do if my feelings for hyung come up again? No, why are you looking at me like that? Like you just killed someone accidentally. I might get a hard-on...."

Only then did Yugeon realize. Heesu was making fun of him in front of everyone. There was nothing else here he could use to play pranks on, so he must have used himself. 

"....."

"What's wrong? Why all of a sudden, euag!" 

The body moved first before he could think this through. Yugeon immediately threw a punch without a second thought even before Heesu could finish his words. With a loud noise, the table behind was pushed back and Heesu fell on top of it. The buzz around them grew louder. 

"Kwon Heesu, you crazy bastard." 

"Ag! Hyuung, did you really hit me? We just met again after a long long time. I mean, not that I'm complaining. Ah, wait, wait! There's food next to me..... waag!"

That mouth was still spouting nonsense after all that. Yugeon grabbed Heesu by the collar, got on top of him, and hit him one more time. Peoeog! A refreshing sound of a blow rang out in the hall. 

A one-sided brawl came out of nowhere, but no one stopped them. Shinje just laughed as if he found Yugeon cute, while Taein kept ignoring them like he didn't want to pay any attention to them. Half of the people watching them looked uninterested, as if asking why they were starting all over again, while the other half were cheering vulgarly, some even blowing whistles. 

Yugeon slowly began to feel that if he kept punching the bastard, he would only be making a fool of himself. Exhausted and already lost steam, he threw Heesu away like he was tossing out something dirty. He felt terribly dejected. 

"You son of a bitch. I thought you completely went blind because of me....."

"You were worried about me? Oh no. I think I'm really going to get a boner." 

"Shut up."

"You know, I really missed the way you talk. One time, I even masturbated while imagining myself being beaten and cursed by you hyung....." 

The more he talked with him, the more he felt like he was losing. Yugeon turned away, completely ignoring Heesu. Heesu continued to laugh for a long time as if a screw had come off, then took out his glasses from his apron pocket and put them on. His vision, which had been blurry as if he had opened his eyes under the water, finally became a little clearer. 

"I haven't fully recovered though. They say it's a miracle that my eyes even regenerated. My rank isn't that high for something like that. It was already a little hard to get my arms and legs to stick back together if they happened to get chopped off in the first place." 

Those words reminded him of someone who wasn't here. The man who had clung onto Yugeon with his wounded body and talked nonsense on the day he left them behind. 

"Yes. Baek Yugeon. Let's never see each other..... ever again."

Did Chan, as he said, decide not to see Yugeon ever again? That was understandable. Words exchanged between them were not something that would be forgotten just because they hadn't seen each other in a few months. Yugeon turned his head, certain of the conclusion he had come to. It was then a strange shape in the distance caught his eyes. A large, black lump was sticking out a little from behind a pillar. 

"Cough." 

Heesu also saw it, and quickly covered his mouth.Taein annoyedly muttered under his breath. 

"Why bother hiding when you can't even keep your size down?" 

It was an absurd remark. Keep down his size? What did he mean by hiding? 

"Chan hyung. Just give up. You already got caught." 

"Chan-ah, it's so lame." 

Heesu made a horn with his hands and shouted loudly. Shinje also chipped in, walked over to sit down on one of the sofas and crossed his legs. The black lump flinched once, and a sound like a growl of a beast came from behind the pillar. 

"Won't you fuckers shut up?" 

Soon, Chan walked out, covering his face with one hand. The black lump sticking out slightly had been part of Chan's shoulder. He had quickly hid behind a pillar, but he seemed to have forgotten to hide his entire body. 

"If I knew this would happen, I wouldn't have come..... Damn it" 

Chan murmured, shaking his head. His face, hidden under his large hand, and the back of his neck were blushing bright red, enough to show through his tanned skin. He slowly lowered his hand, feeling his ears burning hot. Then he ended up making immediate eye contact with Yugeon, who had been staring blankly at him. Chan was startled as if he had been burned, then yelled at him for no apparent reason. 

"What are you looking at, punk? You think it's funny too?" 

"Yes?" 

"Showing up in front of you again after saying all that shit. I know you're thinking I look like a joke..... fuck." 

"I'm not sure what you mean, but I don't think it's funny." 

"...." 

"Is this because you said we'd never see each other again...."

"Hey!" 

Chan yelled out again, cutting off Yugeon's words in the middle. Yugeon stiffened up at the loud voice, and blinked at him. In the end, Chan just sighed and rubbed his face. 

"Yeah, what did I expect? I know you have no tact or taste or whatever, but do you really have to get caught by a filthy bastard like Woo Shinje?"

Shinje also told him that he had no tact earlier in the morning. His mood somehow got even worse. Heesu piped in from behind. 

"Oh, glad to know hyung is still nasty and pathetic." 

"Shut up and bring me a drink." 

"We haven't even started the meeting yet?" 

"Wait, where's that dark beer I ordered earlier? Deputy chief?" 

"I got rid of it." 

"Fuck, rice is really wasted on you asswipes." 

"Hyung, you really shouldn't drink today. What if you got drunk and ended up confessing to Yugeon hyung? Like, Yugeon ahhh..... How can you do this to meee....."

"Wanna die?!" 

He hadn't heard this kind of rancorous chatter that would go back and forth for quite a while. There was a time when those voices, their eyes, their facial expressions, and even their slightest gesture would drown him under cold dread. He was amazed at himself for feeling no such thing at the present. Perhaps he had already gotten used to his daily out-of-ordinary routines with Shinje. 

The meeting soon began. Members were still scattered throughout the bar. Everyone had put down their glasses, but the tables were full of snacks and most of them were still perched on their seats comfortably. When they were wearing uniforms, there was at least a sense of unity, but now that everyone was wearing plain clothes, they looked like a ragtag group of people. But Erewhon had always been like this. There was never a need to have unnecessary manners or formality, they just had to do their part. 

Until the noise subsided and everyone's attention focused on him, Shinje just sat leisurely, leaning back on the sofa, gently tapping the end of the sofa armrest with his fingertips. It was the attitude of someone who was used to leading many people. Only after a while, he opened his mouth. 

"Let me start with the concluding remarks. I know no one here wants to listen to lengthy nonsense." 

Shinje uncrossed his legs and straightened his back.  

"Erewhon will disband as of today." 

His words tumbled out like formless rocks. No one questioned, however. Without eyeing around, or whispering to the person next to them, everyone waited patiently for Shinje to continue. A suffocating silence engulfed the spacious hall. 

"I'm sure all of you who signed the contract and joined us knew. That Erewhon was created for only one purpose, and will be dismantled when that purpose is fulfilled."

Although the nature of the contracts was different, it was a fact Yugeon had also known. Erewhon itself was an expeditionary force for the attack on Mazzaroth. The very first thing that Shinje, who acutely realized the limitations of the Awakened Management Headquarters, jumped out of the cage and built from scratch. 

"Soon, there will be no new enemies. In just a few years, people will start to forget about mutant species and gates. Sooner or later, there will come a world that will not need us anymore. The era of classifying people based on alphabetical ranks is over. Before we know it, we will become shameful relics of the bygone era."

It was an extremely harsh story for a head of a Hunting Order to tell. Some of those who had been paying attention to his words without blinking their eyes even dropped their heads. 

Many of the large Orders that had a reputation had already been dismantled. In the metropolitan area, Bari, led by Seok Munyeong, was the fastest. After that, other places followed one after another. Compared to them, Erewhon’s disband was long overdue. Shinje, the leader, was unconscious due to serious injuries, and since most of the participants of the Mazzaroth were from Erewhon, the damage they received was the most severe, so it took them several months to rectify the situation. 

".....But." 

After saying that, Shinje paused a little. When he opened his mouth again, his voice had regained strength.

"Even if a world that no longer needs Hunters soon arrives, you are free to remain as Hunters until the end. I won't care where you go, or whoever you follow."

Shinje then cast a look at Taein, who was sitting on the sofa across from him. 

"I will be handing over all the intelligence and authority I had as the leader to the deputy chief here. The processing will also be left to the deputy chief. You can rebuild Erewhon and become the 2nd leader, or you can build a brand new Order with the resources, or you can pass it on to a third party..... or, if you wish, you are free to just discard it all." 

Taein kept his mouth shut and met Shinje's gaze. His expression was as blunt as he was whenever he faced Yugeon, but his eyes felt distinctly different. Yugeon had an inkling that Shinje's decision had not been discussed in advance, and it seemed as if it was also the first time Taein was hearing of this. 

Shinje, who was finally done with his speech, clapped a few times, as if to refresh the atmosphere. 

"So, this is all I have to say as the Leader of Erewhon. Thanks or complaints, from now on, you can talk to the person in charge over there." 

Taein, who had hardened up like a stone buddha, sighed and pressed his temple. A deep crease slowly appeared between his brows. 

"You're handing it off like you've been waiting for this day to come for a long time." 

"I thought Taein-ssi had already expected this to some extent?" 

"I didn't expect you to run off and leave me with this mess." 

Even while the conversation between the former leader and the deputy chief was going on, there was only a suffocating silence between the others. Yugeon noticed everyone's expressions had hardened like they were about to fight. Were they all disappointed with Shinje's sudden announcement? Did they perhaps feel betrayed? 

"Woo Shinje, you crazy bastard. You really are ridiculous until the very end." 

The silence was broken at once. Chan, who had remained expressionless without saying a word until now, was cackling with a loud voice. Heesu, who had also been twisting his lips holding himself back from bursting into laughter since earlier, also joined him. Chan's words were like a signal flare, and immediately after that, sporadic laughter broke out from all over the place.  

"I can't believe I was able to see Erewhon disbanding while I am still alive." 

"Why are all you druggies still alive after saying we are all going to die in Mazzaroth? Today's atmosphere seriously needs to be a little more gloomy. About a hundred more people should have died."

"Oh, yeah? Then how about you die. Like right now." 

Everyone was hitting the person next to them, laughing mischievously. Even Shinje had a faint smile on his lips. Only Taein, who had shouldered all the worries of the world, and Yugeon, who couldn't quickly adapt to this crazy atmosphere, was sitting quietly in their seats. Shinje then took out a card and handed it to Heesu. 

"I will pay all the expenses incurred today. Here, I'll leave the card with the owner. You are free to order as much as you want." 

Heesu quickly took the card and held it high for everyone to see. 

"This card, I wonder what's the limit? Aren't you all curious? Let's test this out today! 

A surprisingly loud roar erupted. 

The atmosphere quickly eased as the alcohol went around. People who were pleasantly drunk were talking loudly. Stories of past battles, current status of other Orders, and future plans were exchanged. 

Unlike Yugeon, who had the drinking capacity of ordinary people, the drinking party of the Awakened had far exceeded common sense. Every time they shouted a toast, they were emptying out the bottle, not the glass. He wondered if they even should be calling it a toast. Empty liquor bottles piled up on the tables at an alarming rate. [2] 

Yugeon sat quietly next to Shinje throughout. Most of the stories that went back and forth were things he didn't know. In addition, Hunters who wanted to share a word or a drink with Shinje were constantly coming to their table. There was nothing to do but stay still. 

He sat quietly with his eyes down and drank every time the glass in front of him was filled. Whenever Shinje brought something to his mouth in spare moments for him to eat, he accepted them without a word. Shinje would stroke his head or kiss his cheek every now and then, while he just nodded absently to everything he whispered in his ears.   

He felt strange. Could he have even imagined himself that he would be in this place with these people a few months ago? He had never envisioned a future after his brother's death and Almuten's. It was too much to live through each day that came. He was used to the world where, except for his older brother and himself, everything was his enemy. 

He stayed still like a well-trained military dog for tens of minutes until he got bored. He started fidgeting with his fingertips, rocking his feet gently back and forth under the table. Yugeon's heels on his black shoes lightly thumped against the bottom of the sofa. He thought he should've bought a gun, no, a cube. 

It was a childish behavior unsuited with his adult outfit. Like a child who had followed an adult to a drinking party. An outsider would never have recognized him as the guide who had stubbornly endured and survived in the pit dotted with death and madness with only a gun on him. 

Those who had only seen them from afar might think Yugeon was a faithful dog belonging to Shinje. A loyal guide who devoted his body and heart to his superior. But the reality couldn't be more wrong. It was Yugeon who was holding Shinje's leash, and Shinje would be the beast that could easily cut off the leash at any time, but pretending not to, wagging his tail gently as if he were a pet fox. 

It was then a person who had been watching him afar approached him carefully. 

"Good evening. Guide-nim." 

Yugeon turned to the voice with slightly reddened cheeks. After checking the other person's face, his eyes widened to the fullest.  

"Ah..." 

A young woman with her long hair tied neatly on her shoulder. The person he had thought he would never see again was standing in front of him. Hyeonji laughed awkwardly. 

"I should say hello properly, but my body is like this... sorry about that." 

A metal crutch supported her weight in place of her missing leg. She raised her free hand, and pretended to hold a cup and drink. 

"Would you like a cup of coffee?" 

Yugeon and Hyeonji went out through the back door of the store and stood against the wall in the alley. After being in the noisy hall stinking of booze for a few hours, breathing in the fresh air outside felt like he would live a little longer. Both held a cup of steaming coffee in their hands. The menu at Heesu's store had everything he could think of, and of course, coffee was included.  

"Have you been well?" 

"Yes. What about nuna? Ah, I didn't mean, no..... sorry." 

"Why..... Ah, because of my leg? Haha, it's okay. I'll be getting a prosthetic leg around next month." 

"Next month?" 

"There were too many people injured last time. To be honest, we got them pretty early compared to others. Because the leader and deputy chief took care of everything. Some people have to wait for more than a year. It's all good." 

Yugeon had little experience of comforting anyone. That sounds nice. I'm sorry. Neither of them seemed to be an appropriate response. So he just sipped his coffee in silence. He felt as miserable as when he thought Heesu had gone completely blind. The vanilla latte with plenty of syrup felt bitter on his tongue. 

"Guide-nim." 

"Yes." 

"Our leader, ah, he said he's no longer one, but, eum, I'll just call him leader for now. Why did you choose to stay with him? Of course, he seems really nice to guide-nim. But your own will is important, too." 

"....." 

"Does guide-nim..... like him?" 

Yugeon didn't respond for a while. Leaning against the hard wall with no expression on his face, he just stared up at the night view over the buildings and stretched wire. Neon signs flashed brightly, and countless cars sped away with headlights on, as if to chase away the darkness that had engulfed the city. The vanilla latte in his hand cooled down little by little in the night air. Did she perhaps ask a rude question? Hyeonji grew restless. It was then she heard a soft laugh from Yugeon. 

"It's not a simple matter of liking or disliking." 

"....."

"He owes me a lot. Enough to devote his whole life to me. Until he pays it all back, even if he tries to leave..... I won't allow it. I can't." 

His hand holding the coffee cup tensed up. The calm surface of the latte slightly shook with a quiet splash. Yugeon lowered his gaze from looking at the night view in front of him and continued his words as if engraving them in his heart. 

"He's mine. Just like I am his." 

A cool night breeze blew. Before he knew it, his rather long bangs swayed and tickled the scar on his eyelid. Just then, a soft voice came from behind. 

"The happy farewell party is finally over." 

Shinje was leaning against the wall on his side and looking their way. He was already about half a span taller than Yugeon, so to Hyeonji, he was far taller. After looking up at him with her chin tilted up as much as possible, Hyeonji hastily lowered her head. 

"Ah, good evening sir." 

"There's no need to be too formal. I'm just a civilian now." 

Shinje smiled and let Hyeonji in. Yugeon was standing stiff the whole time. Did he hear what he said earlier? 

"Yugeon-ah?" 

"....."

"I let you play with other people as much as you want. Why won't you look at me now?" 

Yugeon still didn't look back. Shinje wasn't sure if he was nervous or embarrassed, but he could see the fluff on the back of his neck standing up above the collar of his white shirt. He knew if he put his hand on his nape suddenly, Yugeon would jump up like a broken small animal. He thought he should just use his ability to soothe him. It was a rather irrational line of thought that a normal person would never have.  

Shinje rarely ever used his abilities to do normal tasks. There wouldn't be a more convenient means than psychokinesis when bringing things far away or pressing a switch, but he had always refrained from using his abilities to the point of being obsessive, and instead moved his body himself. 

The reason was simple. Because a ‘normal human’ would never think of doing something like floating the objects in the air without touching it with a single fingertip. After leaving the center, Shinje obsessively studied human beings. How ‘normal humans' talk and think, how they express themselves, how they move their muscles throughout the body. He had to learn things that everyone naturally learned from birth, one by one, in person, through print and videos. 

There had been only two instances where he decided to abuse his abilities without restraint when he was not even in the middle of a battle. That time when someone recklessly touched Yugeon, and..... when Yugeon first appeared in front of him. It was when he had been pushed to the limit after not being able to receive guiding for literal years. He had never used his ability for something so trivial like touching someone who was within reach if he stretched out his hand. But why now? 

He moved an intangible hand towards the back of Yugeon's neck. Unexpectedly, there was no response. Psychokinesis wasn't working. The ability he had had since he was born, that sometimes he even felt more comfortable to use than his own limbs. It was as if all the lights, that had always shone so bright that to the point of being painful regardless of day and night, seemed to have been turned off for a moment. After a few seconds of tranquil darkness, the ability was working again as if it had never happened. 

"...Ah." 

Shinje let out a short exclamation. Yugeon, feeling strange at the lack of movement from the man behind him, turned around only then.  

"What's wrong?" 

"I couldn't use my ability." 

"What?" 

"It's only for a moment, but... it disappeared." 

"....." 

"Do non-awakened people always feel like this? Everyone in the world, do they live like this for the rest of their lives?" 

Shinje murmured blankly. He looked bewitched. Yugeon noticed a subtle redness on his pale cheeks. He realized it might not be the lights from the red neon sign. Even though he thought it couldn't be, Yugeon asked.  

".....Are you drunk?" 

"Ah, right. I think I'm drunk. Yeah... I'm drunk. The others too." 

Shinje took Yugeon's hand and put it on his cheek. The smooth cheek that touched his palm was unmistakably warm. The Awakened people rarely got drunk most of the time. In Shinje's case, unless he poured a whole pack of drugs into a glass of strong liquor, he wouldn't feel a thing.  

An S-class Awakened like him was drunk with mediocre booze. And for a moment his ability stopped working. Combining the two, the conclusion was clear. Shinje's abilities were slowly disappearing. Just as Erewhon, which had fulfilled its mission, had chosen to cease to be.  

"You know what? There was a mess earlier. Chan-ie got drunk and his tail and claws popped out. You should have seen it." 

The unrivaled ability that he had had for his entire life had disappeared for a brief while, but instead of feeling anxious, Shinje seemed happy.  

"It's my first time getting drunk.... not bad." 

"Is that so?" 

"Eung. Now I think I know why my Yugeon-ie becomes soft whenever he drinks."

"No, that's. Haa..... stop teasing me." 

"Even now, look. Soft and squishy." 

A long finger fiddled with Yugeon's earlobe. Yugeon's expression grew more and more ferocious. 

"You're not in a position to talk about other people's drinking habits either." 

"Why?" 

At that moment, Yugeon's face, which had been hardened as if he would get angry right away, loosened up. The corners of his eyes creased shut and he burst out laughing. He was smiling so brightly, hidden dimples had appeared on his cheek. When he was laughing, Shinje thought Yugeon looked even younger. After reuniting in a far-flung city, Yugeon would sometimes smile in front of him. But it was the first time he had ever laughed so brightly. Shinje skipped a breath. 

"To be honest, you look pathetic."

Yugeon said, putting his hand on top of Shinje's hand that was playing with his earlobe. His voice, which still had a hint of laughter, was much livelier and softer than usual. Shinje, who had forgotten to breathe until then, laughed along with him as if he couldn't help it. 

"What do you mean pathetic..... Are you kidding me? Whose mouth is making cute noises again?"

"Why do you think I'm kidding?" 

"I'm pretty even when I'm drunk." 

"I don't know about that." 

"Why are you being so mean to me?" 

"I'll stop if you do something pretty." 

"Eueum, if you keep doing that, I'll get hurt." 

"Serves you right. And you won't get hurt anyway." 

"You said I'm yours. Why are you treating yours like this?" 

".....Did you hear what I said earlier?" 

Shinje leaned down as soon as the question was over.

"Yugeon-ah..... my guide." 

He locked Yugeon between the wall and himself. A shadow fell over Yugeon. A sense of crisis set in, although it was too late. 

"You don't know, do you? How much your clumsy obsession turns me on." 

"If you're drunk, go home nicely, eug." 

His tie was pulled close, cutting off his words. His chapped lips fell on Yugeon's damp lips, warmed from the hot drink. Even though Shinje had slightly bent down his hand, there was still a difference in eye level, so he tilted his chin up and stood on his toes. Yugeon clung to his shoulders, and barely managed to keep his swaying body straight. He felt as if hot steam had filled up his head, making it impossible to think properly. Yugeon finally realized that he was also not in a position to scold the man in front of him just because he was drunk. 

The city lights flickered across like a kaleidoscope over the two tangled in a narrow alley. Stars rose one after another in the night sky glimmering through the cracks in the buildings. 

The drinking party that had been going on until past midnight was finally over. In the end, Heesu could not check Shinje's card limit. He returned the card while muttering sullenly that he should just sell the entire store. 

"Today was fun." 

"Take care!" 

"Goodbye." 

Various greetings came and went. Team 1 was no exception. 

"I'm leaving too. If I go home later than this, I'll be nagged like hell again." 

Chan rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. He seemed embarrassed to use his parents' nagging as an excuse when he had grown old enough. 

"Hyung, why aren't you saying that cheesy goodbye again this time? Let's..... Let's not see each other again..... keuheuheub."

"Why don't you shut that fucking mouth, eung? And you, Baek Yugeon..... No, it's nothing. Bye." 

Chan, who looked like he had something to say to Yugeon, turned around with a noticeable blush on his face. In the end, he decided not to ask for his number. He felt like biting off his tongue when he thought of himself messaging Yugeon shit like ‘You up?’ in the early mornings. 

Taein was also near the entrance bidding goodbyes to other people. His hands were seen free of gloves, lightly patting the shoulders of many people and even shaking hands. Still not very enthusiastic, but it was a touch that showed no disgust. Yugeon wondered which of these people present here today would leave forever, or decide to remain under Taein and continue working as a Hunter? 

"....."

Taein, who noticed his gaze, looked this way. He dropped his glance once, like he was swallowing a sigh, then lightly nodded at him. Shinje had ceded all his authority to him, and the responsibility now heavier than ever, but strangely, he looked as if something that had always weighed down his shoulders seemed to have been relieved.  

"Yugeon hyung. Please give me your phone number." 

Heesu clung to Yugeon's side and whispered, linking their arms. It was when he realized they were no longer at the same eye level. Heesu, who used to be about the same height as him, was now looking down at him. Heesu seemed to have grown a little taller even while going through those miserable times. 

"My number?" 

"I know there's leader, but living with only one guy is a tad bit boring, right? You will even get tired of pretty macaroons if you are eating them every meal. There might come a day when hyung wants to roll around with a younger guy. Like wanting to enjoy the thrill of having an affair. Just remember I'm always available." 

"....." 

It was a remark that he didn't even know where to start. Regardless, Heesu swiftly took out Yugeon's phone and entered his contact number. He then called his own phone from Yugeon's to save it. 

"Ah, hyung already knows I'm fine with sharing. I like it even better if they are already taken. Hyung, please call me if you want a third when you do it with leader....." 

He couldn't listen to it any longer. Yugeon kicked Heesu's shin hard with his shoe. Ahyaya. Heesu finally backed away with a pained yell. 

Like it or not, the people who used to live under the same roof dispersed in their respective directions. Listening Heesu's requests to contact him with one ear and immediately dumping them out from the other ear, Yugeon also took a step outside. Shinje naturally took his hand. 

They ended up taking a walk on the streets in the cool night air under the excuse that it would be difficult to drive drunk. For a long time, without even a small talk. After walking through the bustling downtown area and the streets where office buildings were concentrated, a large bridge came into view. The bridge cutting across the wide river, and the reflection of the night view of the metropolis on the pitch dark surface of the water were dazzling. 

There was a sign in front of a bridge where countless cars came and went. Hwangan Bridge. Yugeon looked up, and Shinje, walking beside him, met his eyes. A bright smile appeared on his lips. 

"Do you want to walk?" 

".....yes." 

Unlike the road filled with cars, there were no people walking on the pedestrian passage at the edge of the bridge. A strong wind from afar blew over the wide river, brushing past the waves, and hit Shinje and Yugeon. The suit jacket fluttered like a flag, deafening his ears. Before they knew it, it was already the season when the night air felt as cold as ice. Yugeon hunched his shoulders and winced at the biting cold.  

"Yugeon-ah." 

Something warm and heavy covered his shoulders. It was the trench coat Shinje was wearing over his shirt. Yugeon immediately took off his coat and tried to return it. 

"I'm fine..."

"How are you fine? Just put it on."

"....." 

Yugeon kept his mouth shut and closed the hem of the coat. The size did not fit, so the shoulder line had slipped down and the sleeves were covering the back of his hand. It was only a piece of clothing, but it felt like his whole body was wrapped in Shinje's arms. 

The bridge that filled their view was like a skeleton left behind by a gigantic otherworldly creature. The night sky behind was full of stars. After being swept away by a disaster, things that had not been seen for ages had returned to the world. Clear skies and stars without fine dust obscuring them. They would also disappear sooner or later when restoration works began in full swing and new factories were built. 

Legions of stars were lurking overhead. Down here, in the dead of the night, they could hear the rippling waves of the river. Stars, and pit-black water. It was a landscape uncannily similar to Mazzaroth at first glance. 

Yugeon still hadn't completely shaken off the memories of that time. Every once in a while, he would be trapped in nightmares where seawater filling up the sky poured down over his head, drowning him. The sun never rose in those terrible dreams. Only the roaring sea, damp, suffocating air, and the black, cold stone floors. 

The deep sea would call him, gently swaying the delicate surface of the water, seducing him. Come here, where everything and nothing exists, take one step closer, dip your feet in the mellow tide, and you will finally be at peace. 

Whenever that happened, Yugeon thought of the weight of life he had managed to save. Of the debt Shinje still owed him. Only then, as if driving out the moss from the deep sea spreading to his heart and lungs, he would finally be able to open his eyes, exhaling a long heavy breath. 

"My original goal wasn't just to kill Almuten. I wanted to kill all the awakened and guides in the world, and eventually kill myself."

Shinje's light hair fluttered non-stop in the river breeze. Since his hair was originally very pigmented, it looked more like silver under the bright lights. On top of that, with his pale skin, he seemed to be embracing all the mottled lights of the city. An orange light fell on his forehead, the bridge of his nose, and a shade of blue on the other side. The shadows of the eyelashes also casted a bluish purple on his cheeks. 

Looking at him, Yugeon recalled the illusion he saw at the altar. 18-year-old Woo Shinje he encountered on the Hwangan Bridge. Like a well-sculpted ceramic doll, standing on top of it absently, as if someone had placed him on the spot. The wind was just as strong then as it was now.  

"But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't bring myself to kill you. I wanted you to survive no matter what. And if I'm going to save you, I'll have to save the world you'll live in, so..... I wanted to end it all with me dying alone."

"I didn't let that happen." 

It was the cruelest revenge Yugeon could inflict on him. Until now, and in the future, there would be no one else who could shake and twist Shinje's world like this. 

"By the way, Yugeon-ah." 

Shinje suddenly changed his expression and held out his hand with a smile. 

"Yes?" 

"Your phone." 

"Why's my phone all of a sudden?" 

"Didn't you get Heesu's number earlier?" 

His hands so easily burrowed into the pockets of his jacket, groped his sides and thighs, and took out his cell phone from his pants pocket. He was holding it with only his index finger and thumb as if picking up dirt. Yugeon was left in a daze, and only remembered to wrestle it back from him one beat later. 

"Give it back." 

"Eueung, I don't want to." 

"Right now!" 

"Want me to buy you a new one? This thing's dirty, why don't you just throw it away? We can dump it in the river here. 

"That's not necessary. It's just a number." 

"Just a number?" 

Shinje frowned slightly and let him see his cell phone. The contact information that Heesu had saved in his phone was displayed on the screen. 

[Hyung's side piece No. 1] 

There was also a heart beside it. 

"Can you still say that after seeing this?" 

"....." 

That son of a bitch, Yugeon gnashed his teeth. Hearts aside, but the word ‘No. 1’ was even more ridiculous. Does that mean there will be No. 2 and No. 3 as well? 

Shinje also checked his contact information. He then laughed out loud at the three plain letters Yugeon had typed in. He looked down at him, putting on a sullen face.  

"Honey..... are you going to be like this?" 

"I want it back." 

Yugeon gritted his teeth and stretched out his arm. Shinje quickly whipped up his hand holding the phone. Because of the height difference, no matter how much he stuck out his fingertips, he couldn't reach his phone. Rather, it started to look like he was jumping into Shinje's arms, hugging him. 

"Then what about you?" 

"Eung?" 

"What did you save me as?" 

Shinje went silent for a few seconds, then blinked his eyes pitifully. 

".....baby. Is that important now?" 

He knew something was up when someone who could always smoothly slither his way out of most things reacted like this. 

Yugeon at least saved his name, but Shinje mustn't have saved the other person's number. He saw it when he picked up the call from Taein. It wasn't even a stranger, but deputy chief, and yet, the incoming call showed no name, only numbers floating on it. It was crystal clear he hadn't saved Yugeon's number either.  

"It's important. ‘Cause I'm going to look at it and decide whether to hit you or not." 

"My guide is really fired up. I wish he could be the same in bed." 

"Want me to make you really fired up?" 

"Eung?" 

"If you take two or three bullets, you'll be on fire even if you don't like it." 

"If you're going to feed me, can you feed me something other than bullets? I promise I'll lick it and swallow it all." 

"Just give me your phone." 

Yugeon started searching through the pockets of the trench coat he was wearing. He couldn't find it, however. He pursed his lips and glowered at Shinje, before suddenly pouncing at him, aiming for the pockets of his pants. Just like he did to him. 

But he still failed to achieve his goal. It was because, as if he had been waiting for it, Shinje had immediately hugged his waist and lifted him up. Yugeon wriggled his feet after suddenly being hoisted up in the air.  

"Wai, wait a minute..." 

"Isn't the suit uncomfortable? Yugeon-ah. You are in it all day. Let's go home, change clothes, and get some rest." 

"Wait a minute. So what is it? The name you saved me." 

Shinje pressed his forehead to Yugeon's and whispered. 

"Secret." 

Still not giving up, Yugeon asked again firmly. This time, instead of answering, small kisses poured down on his temple and eyelids. After protesting a few more times, Yugeon soon closed his mouth with a sour look on his face and turned his head away. With that, he didn't notice Shinje desperately trying to hold back his laughter. 

I will never forgive you. I know you don't want my forgiveness either. And I won't ask you for forgiveness either. Forever, and for good. 

They might sometimes lash out at the other in a fit of rage, scratching, biting, glaring at each other with killing intent in their eyes. Nonetheless, they were in love. With a heart that set stars on fire, a love that was twisted somewhere like the sky and earth that a blind deep-sea fish dream of, but that was something they would never realize.  

Before they knew it, they arrived at the other end of the long bridge. But nothing happened. The river was still calm, the cars busily passing by, and the wind as cold and strong as ever. The reflection of Hwangan Bridge, along with the city at night dancing serenely on the surface of the swaying waves, gradually faded behind them.  

The starlights that even artificial lightning could not obscure cast long shadows at the feet of the two walking side by side. Their shadows were not so flawless, stained with all sorts of impurities. There was still, however, a long journey melted within. A long and arduous journey, in search of light from the bottom of the abyss, and finally reaching the surface. 

The stars seen from the outside of the abyss were dazzling. 

Ad Astra Ends. 

[1] "Housewife" - 내조요 

[2] The original sentence - 정도면 건배 가 아니라 건병이라고 해야 하는 게 아닌가 싶다. 

Here Yugeon was thinking that they shouldn't be shouting ‘geonbae’, but ‘geonbyeong’. Since the awakened were emptying out the whole bottles in one go. 

건배 (geonbae) - empty glass/cheers/bottom's up. 

건병 (geonbyeong) 병- bottle. So... empty bottle(?)

translator note: next update will be in five days.  ( o・∀・)ノ゛