Tulpamancy / Parogenesis

On this site, we have chosen to use both the words "tulpa" and "parogen" when referring to intentionally created headmates. The terms "parogen" and "parogenesis" were created as a response to accusations of cultural appropriation; "tulpa" is a word originating from Tibetan Buddhism, and as such, some of the wider plural community believes it should not be used. This response is not universally liked or appreciated by this part of the plural community, and some consider it to be an unwanted pressure on the community to change language that is not harming anyone. Despite this conflict, terms are used widely enough to be worth considering, and as such both are present on this site for the sake of providing choice and access to terminology. If this is bothersome to you, then this may not be the resource you are looking for, and you are welcome to go elsewhere for information about tulpamancy/parogenesis.

A tulpa or parogen is an intentionally or accidentally created headmate. Anyone can create one regardless of plural status, brain quirks, or other factors, though it takes dedicated time and effort and is a serious commitment.

People that create tulpas/parogens are not giving themselves DID or another disorder. Plurality is only one criterion for DID and OSDD, and many systems created in this way do not meet the other criteria. That said, it's possible for any system to become disordered if functioning degrades to a point where there's significant distress present.

A detailed overview on what a tulpa/parogen is can be found here.

Before you go looking for resources, it's important that you understand how major a change in your life it is to create an entirely new person. You're going to share your brain and the rest of your life with the person you create, and you won't be able to take a break from that; they'll always be there in your brain in some capacity once they're solidified. Even if you decide to dissipate them, a decision widely considered to be immoral and wrong, echoes of their presence will likely still remain (consider that the linked article was written by a previously dissipated tulpa). It's not entirely unlike having a child in terms of how seriously this decision should be taken.

You're undertaking this with the intention of rewiring your brain and building someone from the ground up, and it's your responsibility to teach this person about the world and treat them with respect for all the years to come. They're going to think, have feelings, have their own opinions, and live as their own person. Take a moment and really, truly think about why you want to share your head with someone else (especially if you haven't done so before). What's your motivation for doing so, and is it good enough of a reason to pursue a serious and lasting life change?

Being plural can involve a lot of compromise, teamwork, and collaboration, and it won't magically fix your problems or let you foist them off onto someone else. You'll be in this together. Will you be able to balance your own needs and wants with a headmate's? Are you willing to find compromises and work through disagreements if you ever have conflicting opinions?

Tulpas/parogens can deviate from how they're created, meaning that they might not have the traits, appearance, or personality you want them to have. Are you okay with that possibility? Are you willing to accept them regardless of what they look like inside or who they choose to be? Are you able to treat them with kindness and respect regardless of their identity?

Sometimes, creating one person leads to more showing up; you may or may not end up with more people in your head than you'd intended to have. Walk-ins are headmates that just "walked in" without one intentionally creating them, and they're common enough among tulpamancers to be a notable phenomenon. While it doesn't always happen, it is a possibility. Are you willing to accept the possibility of sharing your head with more people than you anticipated?

All of this isn't intended to dissuade you; it's meant to make you think about why you want to pursue tulpamancy/parogenesis and make sure you're prepared to handle an enormous and lasting change in your life. It can be a wonderful thing to share one's head with someone else, but it's not all sunshine and rainbows either. Creating another person is a serious decision that should not be taken lightly, and you should take your time considering this.

Plurality comes with its own benefits and downsides, and it's worth talking to plural people about their experiences if you're not already plural yourself, particularly systems with tulpas/parogens. Plurality seems to be one of those experiences that you don't truly understand until you're living it yourself, but it would be wise to get the best idea of it that you can before deciding to create a headmate yourself. Ask them what they wish they knew, what their experiences are like, and what advice they might have for you.

If you've thought it over for a while and are still convinced, a few guides are linked on our resources page. If you decide you're not sure yet or don't want to pursue tulpamancy/parogenesis, but you still want to experience a similar phenomenon, you may want to look into daemonism. It's the practice of giving a part of yourself a bit more independence while still keeping them as part of you.