WELCOME TO THE OSTRICH BLOG! This is a blog about Ostriches, of course. (Seriously, do you NOT see that giant, fancy, complex, sophisticated, refined, and wow it looks like I just used the online thesaurus to just write this sentence wow it looks like im going off track just read the blog)
Embedded Files
Did I just find "online thesaurus" in my search history?
THANK YOU FOR READING THIS BLOG
Wow.
You really thought that was it?
Stop lying. I saw you close this tab.
You thought I would write just THAT!?
Anyway, here's my ACTUAL BLOG:
Ostrich Blog 1/15/25 8:40 PM
I have nothing to say about Ostriches except they are the best living organisms to roam this world
I have nothing to say because I live in North America, and not Africa.
How much is a flight to Africa? I want to see Ostriches in person. And maybe Aardvarks. Aardvarks are good parts of the biosphere too. They are second best on the chart of best animals. Humans are the worst, because they argue too much and destroy the world and rely on consumerism and green slips of paper for their own power and personal gain.
...
Wow I just went on a one sentence rant about my own species!
And that's my first blog entry!
THANK YOU FOR READING THIS BLOG
OSTRICH BLOG April 17, 2025
Ostriches continue to be disrespected. In, fact, I have set up a change.org petition here to combat Ostrich hate. My spanish brother, Juan the Ostrich, is heavily involved. We have started small protests in our local area, with our farthest protest being in Thailand. The protests seem to still not work. In certain countries, such as Iran, we have been shot at. True, we live in America, but we are native to Africa. So technically, we were shot at for no reason. The protests went on, and we eventually where told to be at a stadium to "perform." So I wrote a song about it!
“Don't Be An Ostrich Hater (They Got Necks For Days)”
[Verse 1]
Why you hatin’ on a bird that can’t fly?
He just runnin’ real fast with a tear in his eye
You say his face is weird, his legs are too long
But you eat chicken nuggets, man, that feels wrong
[Pre-Chorus]
Feathers flappin’, judgment’s snappin’
Why you laughin’? This is happenin’
Tall and proud with a fluffy caboose
Ostriches feel pain too, ya obtuse moose
[Chorus]
Don’t be an ostrich hater, it's a slippery slope
Next you’ll bully llamas or a cantaloupe
They got beady eyes and a long weird stare
But hating an ostrich? That’s just unfair
[Verse 2]
He’s got two toes, you got ten
But can YOU run 40 mph, my guy? Think again.
You call him a muppet, a neck on a stick
But your fashion sense is tragic, now who’s the- um... insert word here?
Yo, I woke up in a sandwich, toast on my head,
Dreamin’ of spaghetti but I ate a loaf instead,
Ostrich in my driveway wearin’ purple Crocs,
Talkin’ 'bout tax law and TikTok stocks.
Microwave beeped so I danced with a rake,
Drank maple syrup on a boat-shaped cake,
Alphabet soup spilled truths on my knees,
But I still can’t spell “ravioliphant” with peas.
Got one sock on, it’s made of regret,
Rappin’ 'bout nothin’ but I’m breakin’ a sweat,
Shoutout to my mom and this confused bird nation,
We vibin’ with the ostrich, end of conversation.
So I put on a second sock. It has a hole in it,
So I get another sock and put it on. It looks good.
Yo, stop the hate — ostriches deserve peace,
Big birds cruisin’ at high leg speed with ease.
They mind their biz, they don’t throw shade,
Just chillin’ in the dirt like a feather parade.
But like…
Have you ever stared at a mailbox real long?
Like it's holdin' secrets and singin' a song?
I waved once. It didn’t wave back.
Kinda rude.
Anyway —
Yeah, ostrich rights, we takin’ a stand,
Also, I saw a banana play a marching band.
Spilled juice on a shoe, named it “Lou,”
Now it runs a bakery and makes tofu stew.
They got wings they don’t use — that’s a metaphor, maybe,
Like dreams that nap or a cloud named “Baby.”
Support big birds, and triangles too,
And I’m 43% sure I just saw a canoe moo.
[Bridge]
Ostriches cry...
Not with tears...
But with the wind...
In their feathers...
And shame in their gizzards
[Chorus again, but slower and with emotional echo]
Don’t be an ostrich hater, it’s not the way
Let ‘em strut, let ‘em vibe, let ‘em live their day
They might eat rocks to help with digestion
But throwing shade? That’s the real aggression
[Outro – Whispered with echo reverb]
Necks for days…
Haters amaze…
Ostrich love…
Will rise above... (bawk bawk?)
What a masterpiece! Anyway, I hope you too join the cause the help ostriches. Goodbye for now.
OSTRICH BLOG May 8, 2025
Hello, fellow Ostriches and Ostrich enthusiasts! Welcome to another blog entry! Today, I will talk about some random links I found!
There's this, this, and also this!
I will describe these in the order they appear.
The first one is a link to Mikutap, a subpage where you tap and mash keys and try not to destroy your keyboard, all while making the next fire Hatsune Miku song. The second is Nyancrazy, where you try to glitch out the Nyan Cat gif and warp it as much as possible. The third is Nyan Cat, where you have to hit notes at a specific time, basically making this Rhythm Heaven but with Nyan Cat.
Oh, and THIS!
I'm not telling you what that is. Be surprised! Come on, I can't spoil everything!
Can't forget this!
And this panagram!
I have LOTS of more links. Believe me. But, that's all the time I have for today. GOODBYE-
OSTRICH BLOG May 23, 2025
Welcome back to my wonderful blog! A quick update, me and NormalFrad have collaborated together to create a musical masterpiece. We have created a song about cheese. You can find it here. It's an amazing rap about cheese! Here are the lyrics:
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
OSTRICH BLOG May 23, 2025
Hello Internet! Welcome To GAME THEORY! And today we're going to talk abouhuyhcyuec'[;'efso'v403ws8bs vyutvu^&GV7y4y8t4j8b3t84bnitvtil4iwjtlu84b8by457by85yb8wk9bikiwbiiybjiljbdbnhxr hh8547;;6hp]\dhbt Sorry, my dog decided to dance on my keyboard. Anyway, today we're going to talk about... uhh... PINEAPPLES! Yeah! Pineapples are spiky, and yellow... and, um... PC! Yeah! Pineapples are super Pineappley Correct! This means that they are so accurate to pineapples, because they are pineapples. Humans are slightly Pineappley Correct. The average human has a similar IQ compared to a pineapple, (Around 106 IQ) The majority of humans are made up of the body, which is the torso, arms and legs. But then, there is the head, where their thoughts are created, by their mind. Pineapples create their thoughts in their "head," known as the crown. It creates thoughts and also helps to multiply pineapples. However, pineapples are more durable and preservable, since cryopreserving a pineapple is a lot easier than a human.
Goodbye, everybody! And remember, stay happy and remember to RISE UP!
*Cough* *Cough*
OSTRICH BLOG October 4, 2025
Hey guys! It's me Jimmy, and I'm finally updating this website AGAIN after such a LONG time. Sorry about the wait, I was very busy running a pro-ostrich Starbucks and making Flash animations of Ostriches. So yeah, uh, I'm gonna start updating this website more often. To try and make it something you can really kill time on. Anyway, today I'll talk about...
Um,
THE NEW MCDONALDS OSTRICH MEAL!!!!!!!!!!
THE MCDONALDS OSTRICH MEAL BRINGS NEW OPTIONS TO THE MENU, LIKE THE SPICY DELUXE OSTRICH CHEESE-
Yeah I'm not doing this.
Instead I'll talk about...
POETRY!
You see, one of my new hobbies from over the summer includes writing poetry! Here's some of my amazing works:
Sand is like… time
But itchy.
I walk on it,
It walks on me?
Metaphor?
Probably.
Golden specks,
Like stars that died
And became annoying.
I once held sand in my hand
But it left.
Just like my uncle.
Each grain is a story,
But in a language nobody speaks.
Except maybe turtles.
(Do turtles talk?)
This is a poem, so yes.
I saw a crab.
He was doing crab things.
I related deeply.
My towel was wet.
Was it the sand’s fault?
Yes.
Absolutely yes.
Life is sand.
Sand is life.
Except it’s not.
But… maybe?
Conclusion:
Sand.
Just... sand.
Thank you.
I'm just a poetic genius, right?
OSTRICH BLOG November 26, 2025
Hello, 0.00000000000000000000000001% of the population that actually wastes- I mean spends time on this website. So, um... I would like to show you a... a CL0UD! Right, a cl0ud! Anyway, here it is:
And that's the cl0ud!
Oh, you can't see him?
Don't worry, he's hiding right now. That's his outer shell.
Oh, it seems that his true self is awakening!
YES! THAT'S HIM!
THIS
IS
CL0UD!!!
ISN'T IT SO MAJESTIC?
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CL0UD H45 H1J4CK3D TH15 3L0G. 1T 15 UND3R 0UR C0NTR0L N0W.
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OSTRICH BLOG November 27, 2025
Hello everyone. I somehow managed to get my blog back from Cl0ud. However, the Z3r0 V1ru5 sucked all the color out of the page. So, um yeah, it's Thanksgiving, and I am watching the parade. I can't believe that K-Pop Demon Hunters is getting a live performance.
Anyway, there is something I'd like to address. The fact that the main course is my cousin, the turkey! Tom and his brothers do not deserve to be hunted and separated for a holiday where families are supposed to gather! In fact, Tom himself is the most wanted bounty of all time, with a reward of 70 Octodecillion Dollars!
Thanksgiving is not a holiday to give thanks, it is a holiday of Ostrich and Turkey hate! I have nothing to be thankful for on Thanksgiving! Instead, I ask of you, this year for Thanksgiving, do not have a turkey. Instead, have a Mangosteen. Mangosteen is my sworn enemy. If you have a turkey, I will watch over you for all eternity. Anyway, the parade this year seems to be just a bunch of medicine commercials. And performances from Broadway shows. While I watch this Dunkin' Donuts commercial with Corporate Memphis design, Let me acknowledge my collection of nickels. Yes, I have acquired 50,000 American 5-cent Denominations. Isn't that amazing? Now the police motorcycle unit is escorting the balloons, so the parade is actually starting now! Here comes the first float- my cousin! I hope no one stuns him and them slits his throat, like all of the other turkeys who have perished! Oh! Here comes the Mario balloon! Mario is now 40 years old, YAY!!!!
Now here comes the Luffy balloon! This is the most accurate balloon, because it is made of rubber!
Oh, MORE COMMERCIALS.
Snoopy Balloon now!
The Haribo Gummy Bear!
Now here's the- *le gasp*
PEOPLE WERE JUST...
PLAYING DRUMS!
PLAYING DRUMS IS A HATE SYMBOL TO OSTRICHES!
I CANNOT WATCH FOR ANOTHER SECOND!
OSTRICH BLOG November 27, 2025
Hey guys. The parade is over. According to Google, There was lots of drums. Anyway, I went to my relative's house, where we learned that one of our cousins, Tobias Turkey VII, has been captured and will be slaughtered tonight. So we have just arrived at the remote island where the slaughterhouse is located. We are going in now, an
Sorry, we just had to crush the guards. One of them shot at my laptop, so I chomped them. I am on my phone now. We are going in. We are running through the insane amount of guards, who are poking and jabbing at us with knives and spears.
After a lot of running, we found him! Tobias was in a cage with shackles at his legs! He could barely run! But as we saw him, he was taken by a human and dragged across the floor to another room. We followed him, but he was paralyzed and placed on a conveyor belt going towards a sharp blade! We quickly chomped everyone and snatched him from the conveyor belt and we are taking him home right now. He will fast until Christmas. Anyway, I won't be able to update this blog very frequently until I get a new laptop. So goodbye for now.
OSTRICH BLOG December 2, 2025
Hey guys! I finally got a new laptop! I'm still getting used to the controls, since I'm used to using a Windows Machine. But now I am on a Mac. So yeah, just saying that I can update this blog again. Look for more frequent posts throughout December. I am also working on getting the color back in the page.
OSTRICH BLOG December 4, 2025
Hey! I'm here to talk about... um... Ostrich racism in balloon animals! Yeah! That! The most famous balloon animals are the dog, the giraffe, and the Elongated retrograde square gyrobicupola. But there's no Ostrich balloon animal! I am an ally for the advancement of Ostrich rights especially in balloon art! In fact, here are some more Ostrich rights activists:
Dan.
Dan.
Dan is Dan. And he will always be Dan.
Dr. Jefferey Vinokur
Dr. Jefferey Vinokur
Dr. Jeff is a sad middle aged man who does scripted kids science videos. He has an unhealthy obsession with dancing and Ostriches. He can't come to the phone right now because he is guilty of tax evasion.
And My Pet Rock- Geo!
And My Pet Rock- Geo!
Geo is a nice little pet rock who likes Ostriches! He works with shady organizations to wipe Mangosteen off of the face of the planet.
And those are all my allies so far! Anyway, bye!!!
OSTRICH BLOG January 1, 2026
Hello everyone! Happy New Year! Now that it's 2026, I'd like to announce that I, Jimmy The Ostrich, will be turning 18 this year! That's right!
I have other stuff to talk about though, like the Pineapple War in South Africa. You see, the pineapples have ascended and have been rampaging! We have been forced underground into bunkers. I managed to get a glimpse of the pineapples, though:
It appears they have discovered how to create armor, and advanced laser weaponry! We should have seen this coming, seeing that humans and pineapples have similar IQ. Also, recent studies have shown that in the past 9 months, pineapple IQ has increased, now averaging at an IQ score of 130! This conflict began on December 27th, 2025. Anyway, bye for now.
OSTRICH BLOG January 15, 2026
Hello everyone! Today celebrates 1 Year Of The Ostrich Blog!!! I have had so much fun writing this blog! I want to thank you for reading this blog, even if you just started reading. Anyway, I have learned HTML. For the past year and 3 months, I have used Google Sites to make this website. So yeah, there's gonna be a LOT more stuff on the website from now on, and it'll be more advanced!
I am also working to getting the color back to this page that was ripped out by Cl0ud. There is no color on this page now, except for images. I don't know how those work. But text cannot be colored, although I cAN
FO
RC
E IT!!!
Sorry about that. But I am still working to restore this page to its former glory. That's all for now. Bye.
OSTRICH BLOG May 12, 2026
Hello everyone! It's me, Jimmy, and I'm sorry I haven't been updating lately. I've been working on lots of stuff with NormalFrad and others (We finally got the Cheese Song music video out) and the Pineapple War is over. Pineapples have been dumbed down by Ostrich scientists to the point where they can't handle a blaster anymore and end up blasting themselves point-blank! Most of them have lost faces, arms, and legs. However, their minds will always lay dormant inside them.
Here is an image of a Pineapple now:
Here is an image of a Pineapple now:
As you can see, the face has dissolved, along with the limbs, But the crown has grown. German Ostrich Scientist Gunther Frankfurter theorizes that this is because their minds lay dormant inside the crown.
Anyway, I've been working on this blog post for a while now, and I'm kinda getting tired. So this is it for now.
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