Our Story
Our Fertility Journey
Our story starts in 2004- Matt and I met at community dance class my senior year in high-school. He wore black jeans and a black t-shirt and he made me laugh. Fast forward a few months of chatting, emailing, and “accidentally” running into each other, and we started dating. I knew I wanted to marry him almost immediately. He was so kind, and considerate, and honest with me. Even then, Matt always wanted what was best for me. We got married after he graduated in 2007 and moved immediately to California. I was working on my undergraduate degree and he was working hard on his masters. We were broke with a tiny apartment and a baby basset hound, and we were too happy and in love to care that we had no money. It was there, in that apartment, that we first started trying to have a baby. I got pregnant quickly and for two weeks we were ecstatic- and then we had our first miscarriage. The doctor told us it was probably an embryo that couldn’t survive but all I remember is the heartache of it all. We kept going with our lives and kept trying. There were more positive pregnancy tests but never a baby. A couple of years passed and we moved to Austin, Texas where Matt had gotten a job. Everything seemed to be looking up- he had a job, we got a house, and my new OBGYN told me that there was probably nothing wrong and gave us some fertility pointers. After a few more months of not getting pregnant, we started the plethora of tests that would dictate the next few years of our lives. I was poked and prodded by who knows how many doctors but no one could figure out what was wrong. All the tests came back normal and so they told us to keep trying. In the midst of all this, I focused on finishing my undergraduate degree, and then my master’s; Matt worked on his career and supporting me. Finally, in the middle of my master’s program, I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. A couple of years later a savvy fertility doctor finally put together the pieces and told us that it was the arthritis that was attacking my eggs and uterus. We sat in her doctor’s office, crushed, as she told us that we had a 3% chance of conceiving naturally. So we started saving and went through three cycles of IVF- none of them successful. In each cycle we got a few promising embryos but none of them survived once transferred. In one cycle the embryo took and for two glorious weeks I was pregnant. I thought all our heartache was over but then my bloodwork came back wrong and a week later I lost the baby. Matt held me on the floor of our room as I balled into his chest. After this we had to take a break; we were out of money and my body desperately needed to recover from all the fertility meds. While we recovered we talked more and more about adopting. We had always dismissed adoption because it is so expensive and I was terrified that we might be matched with a baby only to have it not go through. Yet as time went on, adoption made more and more sense. We wanted a baby and the thought of getting a baby that needed us as much as we wanted it made us happy. Then, a few months ago, we were unexpectedly connected with a woman who was looking to place her unborn child; instantly we knew we wanted to adopt. Once she agreed to the adoption, we started all the paperwork, found a lawyer, met with the hospital, and started getting our home ready for a baby who would be there in a couple months. Sadly, it didn’t work out; she changed her mind. Our hearts broke; we had already started loving this child. Still, the experience solidified our belief that we are meant to adopt a baby. For us this is a leap of faith- faith that we will get a baby, faith that we will find the right family to adopt from, faith that we will be able to meet all the challenges of adoption. We can’t wait to bring home our child someday. Until then, we pray and work to make this journey happen.
Our Favorite Things
One of my favorite things about Matt is he has always been able to match me in my sense of adventure. When we first met, I told him I wanted to see the world and since we’ve been together we’ve traveled as often as possible. He’s taken me to Rome and Athens, we’ve road-tripped across the U.S., and we even honeymooned in Yosemite National Park. Our first dates were to local hiking spots and spelunking in caves we found. I love that he is always willing to try something new and that we often explore places that stretch our comfort zone.
When we aren’t traveling or hiking, we like to go to museums, try out new foods, or just stay at home and play with the puppies. Matt is a fantastic cook and he is always concocting a new recipe for me to try. I love photography and spend a lot of my free time photographing the dogs, flowers in our garden, or really anything that captures my creativity.
What We Do
Mel teaches at a research university. Ever since I met her, she’s wanted to teach literature and writing. She especially loves working at a state university because it allows her to work with first-generation college students and help them achieve their dreams. I love how passionate she is about her research and her teaching. I work at a structural engineering firm designing buildings and conducting blast design. One of the coolest parts of my job is that I get to go on accident investigations and figure out why an explosion happened.
Our Home
As we moved towards adoption, we decided to buy a home instead of continuing to rent. We wanted a place that we could work on and make into the perfect space for a family. Last fall our dream home fell into our laps. I love the beautiful cactus in our front lawn; in the spring it bursts into color with gorgeous yellow flowers. Mel loves the huge backyard for gardening, running around with the puppies, and maybe one day raising some chickens. Also, we back up onto a ranch, so we regularly get to feed carrots to our neighbor’s friendly donkeys and alpacas. The inside of the house is comfortable and cozy with fireplaces and the perfect nursery with window seats where we can snuggle up and read together. The neighborhood we live in is also extremely family friendly. During the holidays the streets are lit up with Christmas lights and decorations; during the summer everyone hangs out with their kids at the pool and playground. We love that families walk around with their dogs, kids ride their bikes, and that our neighbors have a basketball hoop for cul-de-sac pick-up games. We can’t wait to share this place with a little one.
Our Families
Everyone in our family is so excited that we are adopting. We love that we are so supported. Mel has a huge family- five siblings, 8 cousins, parents and grandparents on both sides. Most of her family lives in Texas so Christmas and Thanksgivings are a huge affair, complete with touch football and a whole table just for desserts. I am an only child and most of my childhood was just me and my mom. We’ve always been really close and still go get breakfast tacos together at least once a week. We’ve always been close with both sides of our family and everyone, both friends and family, can’t wait to have a new baby to spoil and love.