Always Present

Student C | 6/3/2026

Fiction: As Lyric dwells on the past, he learns to accept what can no longer be changed.

Always Present

Ever since I was young I wanted to be known. For me to walk in a room and be recognized— acknowledged. In high school, I finally got that but I forgot one thing comes with all this attention. Pretending. My name is Lyric Brown. I have a twin sister, Mony (short for Harmony) and it is my number one priority to protect her. When we were younger I could never pronounce her full name so I went with Mony and it stuck. Ever since I was little it’s just been me, my sister and my mother, Symphony. I know it sounds selfish to want the attention of those around me but in reality having the ability to know you were cool with everyone around you brought some sort of comfort. I never trusted anyone, well other than my sister. And Jaycee. I met Jaycee when I first moved out here to Rhode Island. Jaycee had a way of making people feel like they were the most important thing in the world and was extremely popular because of it. My alarm rang nearly making my heart stop. I realized I'd been up thinking on and on about my life before high school. It was my first day of junior year and I was so amped up that I could barely sleep the whole night. I stood up stretched and walked towards the bathroom only to find the door locked.

“Do you mind?” said Mony in her usual sassy yet playful tone.

“Do you,” I replied while rolling my eyes at her. I bet she’s been in there for hours getting ready to make the best first impression. Although we’d been in Rhode Island for years, she was convinced that there would be someone new transferring or maybe even an exchange student would find interest in her. We’ve had the same classes with the same people since sixth grade.

“I know you’ve been in there for ode long.”

“You never know Lyric, maybe this year I'll find me something so fine that I won’t have to keep looking.”

“Yeah okay,” I rolled my eyes again. “Just hurry it up in there.”

“Will do!” She replied sarcastically so I knew I'd probably be waiting another twenty minutes.

I turned around and walked back to my room to tidy up and pick out my colognes for the day. Everything had to be intentional. Last year, everything got overwhelming. Running track, keeping good grades, prioritizing the ones around me —- it all became too much. That was one of the lowest times of my life, when I had Mony checking in on me daily, my mother setting up appointments with a therapist, and my best friend trying to come over as often as she could. I kind of just gave up. It became too much for me to handle. The grades suffocating, the relationships breaking. By the last day of school I could call nobody by friend. Before I could continue reminiscing I was interrupted by some loud banging at my door.

“Cmon,” yelled Mony on the other side of my room. “The bathrooms yours shorty.”

“Why you in a rush, I’ll get there when I get there.”

“Just hurry up before you get left dummy.”

I flung open my door. I couldn’t mess up my first impression. My first chance since last year. I could not go back.

“I’ll be out in a second.” My tone instantly changed. The thought of going back to a place I worked so hard to get out of only brought me more fear. After that I waited for her to leave the hallway. I got ready without saying a word, reliving every single comment, act I put on, and how easy it was for nobody to notice. Before I knew it, I was ready for school.

“Mony!” I yelled from downstairs. “It’s time for us to go.” When I heard the dembow outside, I already knew Jaycee was here ready to drive us—- it was tradition as soon as she got her license early. By now I had calmed down and the fear I once had turned into a lingering thought at the back of my mind. The drive consisted of Jaycee and Mony flirting and my disgusted reaction to each comment.

I walked into the school building not knowing what to expect. The familiar faces brought me comfort— nostalgia even. Until I seen her face. Rose McLaughlin. Rose was my ex girlfriend. We’d known each other since elementary school but I guess that never mattered to her. Years of trust, love, everything, thrown away. It felt like all those moments we shared left her mind in one day. All it took for her were the opinions of the people around us. I walked closer and closer to her praying that I could disappear right then and there.

“So you don’t know me now?” Rose looked at me. Held eye contact. “Hello to you too I guess.”

“Oh yeah, Hi Rose.” The words slipped my tongue, coming out more neutral than I thought it would. She has some nerve talking to me after showing everyone, and I mean everyone, those messages. Begging, pleading, crying. I couldn’t stand the idea of losing her fully. That wasn’t the case anymore. The pit left my stomach when people brought up her name, as for the situation, it haunts me to this day.

“I’ll see you around.” She replied, a sincere smirk spreading across the face that my heart would’ve stopped for. I walked off without saying a word. She know what it is.

After a long boring advisory, the day flew by but I was glad it did. Rose blew me with that conversation. We are not cool anymore and we never will be. The conversation replayed in my head more than it should have. Was her betrayal nothing? Did anything that we ever had matter to her how it mattered to me? At that point it didn't matter to me. But her ability to ignore everything, completely, almost haunted me. The entirety of the summer I hoped she would reach out and look at me with the smirk she gives when amused. But here I was, unperturbed when it finally happened. It was like the boy who was scared to walk into school that day had gotten lost on the ride there. They say that when grieving there's a before and an after and I didn't fully understand that until now. The memories would always be present yet the pain slowly disappeared. It was as if the thought would never go away but instead, I had to accept. Accept that the care I once had for Rose was gone and that she was no longer the kindhearted girl I fell in love with. Grief is about having to move forward even after losing something you thought was everything that you prayed for and more. Even though nobody passed away, a chapter had closed. And a new one would open. I learned to deal with it, or get over it. Or it simply just went away.

Annotated Bibliography

Dunn, Jancee. “The Small Gestures That Help Us Navigate Grief.” The New York Times, 19

December 2025.

Grief is something that can and will look different for everybody. Categorizing grief and maintaining the idea that it can look one way and one way only, is completely inaccurate. This article tries to explain what will help during grief, doing so by letting people share what helped them. Although this is a good concept, grief doesn’t always look the same. Some hide it better than others, cope differently, get help, or even suffer in silence. This article tries to minimize what grief looks like and placing it under a structured image. This author uses pathos and ethos by getting people's real stories and sharing them, sparking ideas that people may feel empathetic towards. I see myself using this source once because I do not agree with its claims. It again, has a good concept, but the idea that you can put how someone is feeling into one category doesn’t sit right with me. It is impossible for everyone to handle the same news the same way and this article takes away the individualization of feeling. Overall, I think this article is partially credible because the speakers are reliable as they are the ones grieving but the idea is not credible because it sort of tells the reader what grief should look like, when in reality it all differs.

Glynn, Paul. “James Van Der Beek's widow posts emotional tribute: 'Words just don't capture what grief is'.”BBC News, 12 May 2026.

Kimberly Van Der Beek, widow of James Van Der Beek, writes about the process of healing, accepting, and overcoming her husband's death. As time goes by, she finds herself in a rough economic state where the feelings of pain are only getting stronger. Kimberly shares with the reader all the emotions she’s felt and ultimately explains her newfound feeling of acceptance as “reality settles in”. The main appeal used in this article is ethos. As an actor, you build a reputation alongside an audience. Using this ideology, it is expected that a certain reputation leads to a sense of credibility. I find myself using this article once or twice because although its first hand experience is very credible, the article talks more about accepting grief rather than the effects of it. This article connects to my theme, the effects of grief, because it shares what Kimberly did after her husband's death, what allowed her to get through it, and what the support of others truly did for her. Overall, this article talks about letting things play out and be as they come. Accepting things for how they are and learning to deal with them is one of the most important parts of growing as a whole.

Gottlieb, Lori. “My Sister Lost Her Husband. Why Is She Taking Her Grief Out On Me?” The New York Times, 12 February 2026.

Sometimes, it is extremely difficult to express our feelings– it is only human. Intentions and points of views all change the interpretations of what is said and how it is said. This article is about how a grieving sister treated her sister. The overall message of this article is to show the impacts of grief on the ones closest to us. Since the sister was grieving it became extremely hard to communicate how she felt, proving one of the many effects of grief. The author mainly used ethos because off rip, as a therapist, her knowledge regarding emotions and experiences with people is most likely to be trusted compared to someone with no experience in psychology at all. I see this source as one I will use constantly because it reveals a relatable thinking process for anyone who is grieving and introduces a better understanding as to why someone grieving might do the things they do. This source is credible because the author is a therapist. As someone who specializes in psychology, you’re far more aware of what you're talking about and using this image makes you more credible.

Lacey, Catherine. Biography Of X. Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2023.

The book Biography of X has two main characters X and C.M. Lucca. Throughout the book, Lucca is on a hunt to discover the reality about her deceased wife, X. I have seen my theme, the effects of grief, develop through Lucca’s shift in emotions towards X throughout the book. Initially, Lucca views X with admiration, obsessive even, but as time passes and Lucca finds out the truth about who her wife truly was, this admiration turns into disgust, realization, and hatred. Grief is not directly addressed as much, but as Lucca finds out more and more she is forced to end interviews early due to her strong feelings of grief. (229) Lucca’s grief seems to be keeping her going even after her newfound “hatred” (214) towards X. My theme is developed throughout the book as grief drives Lucca to travel to multiple areas all in search for the truth about X. I see this source as one I will use constantly throughout my paragraph as it expresses multiple aspects of what the effects of grief truly are. This article is a credible source because it is a prime example of what grief will drive you to do.

“Mum to Run Marathon Weeks After Heart Surgery.” BBC News, 12 February 2026

Sophia Martin, a PE teacher and grieving mother, runs in honour of her baby. Olive, Sophia’s two day old baby, passes away due to heart conditions passed down from Sophia. Over the course of this article, Sophia reveals how her daughter's death affected, motivated, and ultimately changed her. This article talks about how grief can drive you to do positive things.The author honored her passed away child by doing what they couldn’t. Ultimately this resonates how to get something we never had we have to do things we never did. The author used ethos and pathos by sharing a personal experience to prove that they are reliable plus sharing the reality that can cause the audience to feel empathetic. In my own paper, I do not see this as a source I will use repeatedly. It’ll most likely be found in one paragraph because it's very particular and not as narrow as it could be. This article is a credible source because it shows the effects and process of dealing with first hand grief alongside what steps can be followed.

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