The Hi Tech Camper

"Technology: The knack of arranging the

world so that we need not experience it."

-- Max Frisch

I've always had this romantic notion that I should be able to walk out into the woods naked except for a knife, and survive forever. I have this image of wandering back out of the deep forest after months - healthy, bearded, and smiling. While this appeals to my testosterone, I’ve actually become a sucker for the luxury of Gore-Tex and dehydrated Alfredo sauce.

As a child I was taught by my father to camp light. "Never bring more than fits on your back” he said, “be prepared for anything, and remember to make your gestures of warding and exorcism at passing Winnebagos."

All sound advice, and I have stuck with it - for the most part. It always seemed that the less equipment I carried, the closer I was to nature somehow. Then I grew up, left home, started earning money - and my "minimum" for survival slowly grew.

It all started innocently enough, a Pata'Gucci' jacket my freshman year in college. A reasonable enough purchase...right? Keeps one warm and dry, and I was working at a ski area after all! That was just the beginning.

A better compass made me feel more secure in the backcountry. It really did save me on a couple of occasions that were just supposed to be little hikes.

An ultra light stove took a few ounces out of my pack; I'm pretty sure I could feel the difference. My wallet could certainly tell the difference in weight.

I've always hated the taste of iodine, and boiling water is a hassle. So the top of the line portable water filter seemed in order.

It was inevitable to "need" several full Gore-Tex outfits for various sports and seasons. Polypropylene liners, fleece suits and Thinsulate lined accessories were of course required to back up the waterproofing.

Then I realized, why carry a delicate and easily lost compass when one can own a more accurate digital compass built into a rugged watch? Of course I thought it best to still carry my old "better compass" as a backup.

I found the most amazing high-tech knife sharpening kit, that seemed to warrant inclusion into the system. You know the old adage about “a sharp knife being safer than a dull one”, especially a really sharp knife.

An ultra light sleeping bag with compression sack really cut down on pack bulk. Of course I also needed the special -50 degree liner just in case, and a Gore-Tex outer-sack. With all the accessories, the bag didn't end up all that "ultra light" unfortunately.

A shock-resistant, waterproof, halogen flashlight with lithium batteries seemed like a wise investment. Plus a spelunkers' head lamp for those times when my hands were full. And of course a super small back-up flashlight in case of emergency.

The new backpack technology has gotten just amazing. You can now buy an anatomically contoured, waterproof pack with graphite composite tubing and active load suspension these days! I did.

I found the ultimate Swiss Army knife - every tool you can imagine. I figured that with that, my Leatherman, and my military paratrooper knife I had just enough backups for the worst possible situation. Better to walk into the woods naked with three knifes!

A small Marine flare gun with high-velocity magnesium flares seemed like a smart purchase. One can start a fire with it, signal for help, or kill game and barbecue it at the same time.

Eventually I got to the point where I was really camping in style, confident of my ability to survive in even the harshest conditions. My pack was stuffed full of survival gadgets, though of course I could only carry my pack about fifty yards before needing a rest.

Due to the weight I looked around for some gadget to make carrying my bulging composite backpack easier. I could find nothing. It seemed like perhaps a servo powered robotic exoskeleton like the ones in Aliens might do the trick, but such a device does not yet seem to be on the outdoor recreation market.

One day when I was hiking with friends and about to collapse from exhaustion, I noticed "Darren is not even out of breath and his main sport is bowling!". Cruel fate was clearly sending me a wake up call.

I realized then that I had a problem, no, a sickness. But with no 'Campers Anonymous' in sight I had to try to kick the habit by myself. I knew the only way was to go "cold turkey" - no more gadgets.

So for six September days and nights I stayed out in the forest wearing a day pack. In that pack was: a blanket, a canteen, a single-bladed knife, and some food (what...did you think I was going to eat grubs?). Purists would of course say that this is far from hard-core, that it doesn't qualify me as an Indian Scout, but for a recovering techno-geek it was quite a step.

Now those days are long behind me. I have regained the discipline to use just the bare minimum for any trip. I still use some high-tech toys, but not all at once. I’m cured!

** Lately though, I have noticed some devices in the trade magazines that could be very useful. In fact I believe that I truly need (for safety's sake) one of those new hand held Global Satellite Positioning and Navigation systems. Also, the Russians have dumped tons of cheap night vision goggles on the market (what if I get lost at night?). A hands-off communications system would sure be useful when hiking with friends. And a new.....