The Full Desire Experience

At Modern Desire, our goal is to get you laid like a star. We create flattering, contemporary dating profiles for our guests, specializing in versatile styles for everyday lovin'. Whether you want something long-term, short-term, for a special one night event, or two and a half minute magic, Modern Desire has your answer.

"You're a beautiful canvas, an open window, and we're all about helping your inner beauty emerge. You ugly bastard. We make you seem more interesting than you are, and it's all inspired by your personal style, sexual needs, and taste in poetry. Our team uses their eye for detail and high-quality satire to deliver a range of ego-boosting, mate-attracting services. After we are done with you, you'll be as irresistible as a creampie on a windowsill." -Our team

Frequently Asked Questions

The following questions are those often asked by our loving community of punks, losers, fleabags, authors, rogues, miscreants, university students, and ficitonal characters...

Q: Is sarcasm required to use this site?

A: Absolutely. We suggest an irony detector at all times; we wouldn't want you to take offence unless, of course, it's intended.

Q: How long should I wait before responding to a message?

A: As long as it takes for you to appear slightly disinterested but still desperate enough to want human interaction.

Q: What if I'm only here for "casual connections"

A: We're all adults here. Just remember, nothing kills the mood faster than an un-ironic "Netflix & Chill" or "Hey come to my English lecture this Thursday" message.

Q: How can I reject someone without hurting their feelings?

A: Try "It's not you, it's me... specifically me not wanting to deal with your weird shit" It'll work wonders AND, it's probably almost truthful.

Q: Can I filter out people with weird fetishes?

A: No. That's not what we call progressive thinking. Embrace diversity, and remember, everyone has their quirks; some just enjoy sharing theirs more than others.

Q: How do I know if someone likes me back?

A: If they've viewed your profile more than once without blocking you, congratulations; you're either intriguing or a delightful trainwreck.

Q: What if I'm easily offended?

A: Then this site, may not be for you. But hey, self-exploration is always an option!