Hi Tyler, you're at least looking at this part, right? Surely, I've still made a mark academically. Please look at this part too. It's 2:17am and I want you to know I put academic thought into this. I promise. And if you're not looking at this page.... if this godforsaken website does not work.... I know what gym you go to. I know what Shoppers Drug Mart you frequent. I will find you. Dear god please let the horrors of this digital world end. Let there be silence once more. How do I staple together a pink shag website and physically hand it to Stephen with a smile on my face? I can't. You can't staple shag. You can't shag a staple either, don't worry, I've tried. Is this even funny anymore?
Sterne, Laurence. The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman. Edited by Joan New and Melvyn New, Penguin Classics, 2003.
"Time wastes too fast: every letter I trace tells me with what rapidity Life follows my pen" (Page 555)
"A sudden impulse comes across me---drop the curtain, Shandy! I drop it" (Page 253)
"Writing, when properly managed, is but a different name for conversation" (Page 96)
Collier, Jeremy. Short View of the Immorality and Profaneness of the English Stage. 1698.
"Instruction is the principal design of both. The one works by terror, the other by infamy."
"The chief business of a poet was to instruct the audience"
"Smuttiness is a fault in behavior as well as in religion"
"Modesty is the distinguishing virtue of that sex and serves both for ornament and defense"
Behn, Aphra. “The Rover.” Four Great Restoration Comedies, edited by William Wycherley, Dover Publications, 2012.
"I perceive good Father Captain, you would impose no severe Penance on her who was inclin’d to console her self before she took Orders." (Page 179)
"Have a care how you venture with me, Sir, lest I pick your Pocket, which will more vex your English Humour, than an Italian Fortune will please you"
(Page 178)
LEGAL NOTICE: hey big T when I said I know where you work out and shop for overpriced drugs and candy it was a joke well I mean it wasn't a joke I do have that knowledge however it was a joke and please do not tell Daddy Trent about this because this stupid website is supposed to be art and all I've learned is that art is a lie.
Note #2: if you haven't called that number yet out of fear it belongs to a student, you needn't worry about such things! For your safety, it does not.