Mirrored - Ozias Lapsys

Ozias Lapsys -

What is a homunculus? In old alchemical texts, simply put it is an entity or symbol within alchemy representing a rebirth of humanity. It is something more spiritual than real and tends to be half yourself but also more than you were in the first place. Due to it being you but more than you all at once, the homunculus is able to observe the world in a light that you cannot. Essentially, it is one half the soul we do not wish for the world to see and the other half that we wish we could be or perhaps have not yet accepted to already be a part of ourselves. Homunculus: Audi Alteram Partem (HAAP) is exactly that—half of my soul and half of more than what I can understand. It is my homunculus and a child of both my conscious and unconscious mind.

Created over a period of three years, HAAP wasn’t the first of its kind in my history. Initially, I had created Homunculus, an exhibition regarding the human condition. However, as my ideas changed and developed, I found that Homunculus didn’t capture what I wanted. It was disconnected, messy and the concept for it was vague. So I scraped together what I had and instead created HAAP with the pieces of Homunculus that spoke to me.

Audi alteram partem is a Latin phrase relating to the field of law meaning “listen to the other side.” It is a principle of natural justice and I decided to use it in the title of this new exhibition in order to convey the amount of change I have been through over the course of three school years. I wanted this version of my exhibition to be brutally as well as somewhat tastefully honest and true to who I am as a person. I wanted it to be more well-thought out and something that touched both the parts of my soul that I am aware of as well as what I am not. I wanted to listen to my other side which I have not felt comfortable looking at.

There are topics I am not proud of in these pieces. The piece “Salvation” made in acrylic was made at the beginning of 2021 after I had been discharged from the psych ward for suicidal ideation. This piece was entirely personal and was made with the intent to challenge myself to make art without feeling disgust towards my creations. There are topics I wish I could have explained better such as my piece “Of Solis” which discusses my perception of religion and how I believe it to be “stained” in the sense that religion is often something used as a tool to manipulate others into institutionalized acts of hate by abusing their morality and good will. There are pieces and processes unfinished and still in progress but I am still proud to present what I have learned through these pieces because they are a part of who I am.

My pieces are curated to be presented as fragmented pieces of my identity that make up this Homunculus. They’re not entirely human but not entirely inhuman either making them something entirely different. This thought process was inspired not only by alchemy texts but also by the album “How to Be a Human Being” by Glass Animals. In the album, every song tells the story of one individual character. These individual characters ended up translating to the idea of my pieces being “fragments of one person” which ties all of them together like small pieces of one grand unfinished piece.

That grand unfinished art, messy, unbridled and uninhibited is who I am. When I am drowning, it is what pulls me to the tide. When I am hopeless, it brings me hope. When I am speechless, it gives me a voice. So with that being said, I am proud to present to you, Homunculus: Audi Alteram Partem or in other words—my encore.

Mania, acrylic on wood and cardboard, colored embroidery thread, pen, watercolor on paper, hot glue, 30 x 25 cm

Mania's dzesign was inspired by my friend Dimitri who cosplays as a clown character he created named Jangle. It portrays the feeling of mania and the fleeting euphoria experienced as a symptom of various mental disorders. I wanted the piece to really express how it feels to enjoy risky behavior that those who experience manic episodes can feel through the clown who seems to be enjoying itself despite being beheaded. I added lots of varying shapes and colors to make the piece feel distracting.

Ye Olde Magick, acrylic and watercolor on canvas, 30 x 29cm

The intention of Ye Olde Magick was to illustrate the heavy connection much of my work has to the fantasy genre within pop culture. Growing up, I was immersed in fantasy by my dad who read 10 books per week on average and influenced my writing through games like Dungeons & Dragons and authors like Tolkien. This piece pays homage to that. It mimics the high contrast colors and style of some of the original D&D artwork as well as depicts a humanoid figure representing fantasy's grip on me.

A Cat Named Sam, digital art, 2000 x 2000px

Inspired by a children's book I read when I was little discussing Andy Warhol's 25 Cats Named Sam and One Blue Pussy, A Cat Named Sam pays homage to Andy Warhol's influence on pop culture as well as my love of cats using the modern style of Japanese mangakas in this digital piece. With A Cat Named Same to create a piece simple in concept and execution that exhibits what influences me without deeper meaning. The color palette was directly inspired by Andy Warhol's famous Marilyn Monroe piece.

Formerly R.E.D. or alternatively Things That Only Make Sense In My Head, acrylic, spray paint, matte mod podge seal, 40 x 20 cm, 30 x 60 cm, 40 x 20 cm

Formerly R.E.D... was a piece made with the intention to exemplify the loss of innocence after being imparted knowledge unwanted while growing up. I took inspiration from the YA dystopian novels I grew up with and imagery from Michelangelo's Creazione de Adamo to create a piece discussing the consequences of losing innocence in a modern society. I wanted the painting to have a disjointed feel that imparts a feeling of existential dread on the viewer as the baby faces reality without a defense.

Polaris, gouache, 40 x 50 cm

I painted Polaris with gouache on canvas, returning to my painting roots in art while trying to find my own identity after feeling lost. Polaris has lots of simple shapes combined with more fluid shapes to create contrast and the feeling of being lost in space and time. Despite the star Polaris being a cultural touchstone of great importance to the human race, Polaris will die in 7 ages (7,000 years). Polaris portrays that identity lost is less important than simply being happy with yourself.

Acceptance, acrylic on fabric, unknown Size

Red is a color that means a lot of things to me. It is a favorite color of a lot of people who have hurt me as well as a lot of people I love. It is a color of danger, of stopping, and a color that drags the viewer’s attention to it. Acceptance illustrates how hard it can be to deal with a life we do not choose. I wanted to paint it on a coat because although pain cannot often be seen, it is something that can be worn daily and before Acceptance I wasn't familiar with painting on fabric.

Ophanim’s Lullaby, digital painting atop photo, 1500 x 1500 px

Ophanim’s Lullaby is a purely digital piece that started as a photograph of myself with a bit of digital painting. The angel referenced (ophanim) is known for how it eternally carries God's throne, illustrating the omnipotence of the Christian God. To be able to carry such a large weight is painted on myself as a symbol of the exhaustion of my mind as I carry myself to the end of this school year. For the style, I took inspiration from more sketchy art with the intent to give the piece an unfinished look.

Farewell, My Derelict King, clay, sand, tinfoil, hot glue, canvas, poster board, digital painting on top of photo, 2000 x 2000 px

Farewell, My Derelict King pays homage to the poem Ozymandias by Percy Bysshe Shelley. Farewell, My Derelict King visually explains Shelley's political and poetic metaphor that nothing can be preserved rather ironically through an art piece. I wanted to combine mediums I was familiar and unfamiliar with so this piece was made as a sculpture before being digitally photographed and finally undergoing digital rendering. To add to the irony, the original sculpture was destroyed post-photography.

Salvation, gouache, acrylic, pen on canvas, 45 x 40 cm

In November of 2020, I went to the psych ward after dealing with increased suicidal ideation, abuse, and the near-death of my father during the COVID-19 pandemic. Once discharged, I couldn't bring myself to create anything after being mistreated in the hospital. I created Salvation with the intent to breathe the magic I had lost back into my work using a colorful palette and soft brush strokes. I used white pen to give it a sketchy, ethereal feel. Salvation is a symbol of human resilience.

Of Solis, acrylic on canvas, 60 x 30cm

Of Solis portrays my perception of how I view institutionalized religion today. I intended to express how an all-loving god has forever been stained for me by the atrocities caused by these institutions. Belief heavily impacts our values as humans and this effect is portrayed in the figures drawn digitally. I wanted the "god-like" figure to feel bright while the edges of the painting are stained to represent the way religion is used as a method to further one's own goals rather than giving hope.