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Do not engage with bullies or poachers, you will likely hear a number of misguided reasons why someone attacked you instead of the the real reasons. If you ask a child why they did something wrong, do you expect to get an honest answer? And the real reason isn't anything glorious or honorable. So just shrug it off, and rebuild better or smarter. It's also a bonding opportunity with your alliance. Don't leave your alliance for any top alliances, unless your goals or needs are better aligned with them, or elements beyond your control in your alliance are disruptive to the overall social goals of you or your alliance.
Muscles does not equate to brains. You will have monsters in every game. Don't expect monsters to have a reason or justification to attack you.
If they say its your resource bar that compelled them to attack you, it a fallacious reason. Its rather boring to search the map for potential targets, and then the process of attacking an estate many many times just to transfer the resources over is rather long, tedious and boring. If they invite others to the feeding frenzy, it was never about taking your resources to aid their development, rather just making sure you don't have them.
A strong player will save more time by just farming mobs or undead camps than searching for a prey to feed from. But don't expect monsters in the game to use logic or reasoning. If they are targeting your alliance, then the attacks are intentional. You will not prevent it and engaging them in combative or questioning stance will only create more defensive posturing, walls or aggression.
Having all your troops in your estate killed or injured means:
You can not participate in Oracle Reef event (w/o serious disability).
You can not participate in War of Waters event (w/o serious disability).
Your participation in Pinnacles of Kings is hampered, impacting the overall kingdom score.
Your ability to gather resources for rewards in various events is impacted
Your ability to upgrade buildings and skills is impacted
So, if you are a big fish in your alliance taken down by a bigger fisher from another alliance, it was intentional.
The damages are rather punitive but temporary, and healing process is unnecessarily lengthy in this game. However it is possible to recover sufficiently to be functional within a few days, through the following means:
Heal your troops every 6-8 hours in the hospitals
Resurrect your troops every 6-8 hours in the Citadel.
Upgrade all your troops to highest level (as they heal)
Upgrade your combat and defense research skills
It is surprisingly very common to see high level players have very poor estate development practices. These bad practices include:
Troop levels ranging from level 1 to N-1, where N is the current training level of troops.
Skills not maxed (in Academy)
Buildings not maxed (i.e. Academy, Wall, Warehouse, Scout Tower, Troop training buildings, etc.)
Hence an attack on your estate may actually raise awareness on the overall setup of your estate. You may never be able to defeat the attacker, but at least you will be able to rebuild smarter and share your experience with your alliance members. It may also create more enjoyable experiences in future Oracle Reef, War of Waters, and other events.
There are a number of intangible benefits that may be achieved through reflection from difficult moments in the game. Since it is just a game, the difficulties do not translate to the real world. And if the damages in the game are too unsurmountable or exhausting to recover from, perhaps its time to focus on your real life. How you handle difficult situations is up to you, the game is just a venue to experiment without much consequence.
At some point everyone will face some sort of challenge in the game. One of my full marches to protect another player was completely wiped out (i.e. killed), and my 3 farms were zeroed out even though they had little to no resources on them.
Its a game, you learn from the experience, and adapt. Complaining in kingdom chat is counter-productive, or for that matter complaining about it or trying to find answers is just a complete waste of time. It only gives a rise to the attacker as they watch you squeal in frustration. They are looking for a reaction, why give them the satisfaction?
Without monsters in the game, you will never learn how to improve your game play. And no game is fun without some monsters adding a few bumps in your gaming journey.
The game is a social gaming network. You meet players, interact with them, and may develop social bonds. Your interactions may switch from gaming to socializing. Eventually, you don't need the game anymore, and can move your interactions to discord, facebook, or other social networking platforms. If the game has already served it purpose, you don't need to remain in the game unless you are still seeking some form of entertainment or dose of dopamine (feel-good chemical stimulant).
The game is wheel of repetitive motions day in and out. If you find yourself stuck in repetition, create a wave and see what happens. The wave may be constructive (i.e. engaging with people, sharing something) or destructive (i.e. attacking people or creating dissent). You never know who on the other side with respond, and whether they will help bolster your wave or not. But the only way to find out is to try it. There is enough anonymity in the game that provides allowance to experiment and try new interactions.
Beware of mob mentality, just because everyone is saying or doing it does not make it right. Maybe start thinking for yourself and keep your mind open to other opinions, views, and ideas. The game is not a venue to change other peoples thought processes, you can only change and impact yourself.