Again

Again

   Breathe. Soak the moment in.

It's over now. They're at peace.

What comes next after you've watched a person fade into nothing for the last five years?

What do you worry about now?

Be strong for those around you; that's what you tell yourself.

So as your head swirls and tears fill your eyes, you swallow hard and try to hide your cries.

For it's better to help the broken than it is to break.

So you dust the dirt from other peoples knee's,

And you pick them up and help them believe,

That the pain is only sharp for a moment, they'll be okay.

You wipe their cheeks and say “we'll see him someday.”

But the less that you bend the more that you break; but you make yourself keep going and push it all away.

Amnesia and denial become your new best friends.

Forgetting that his old chair will be empty and never filled by his presence again.

You forget until you walk into that old familiar house and see his picture on every wall.

You forget until you see his stuff filled in piles down the halls.

And though the house seems full there is always something missing.

Whether it be the empty chair or your singing in the kitchen.

And all at once you start to remember every little thing.

And the memories you've tucked so far away come back to sting.

He's really gone now; never coming back.

The walls you built around yourself are all beginning to crack.

For the pain you tried to keep away was always getting closer,

But throwing away your feelings will never bring you closure.

So now you let yourself cave in and cry until you're out of breath.

Knowing that you missed his final moments; all that he had left.

You never went to the funeral because you're too “strong” for that.

I'm sure he'll forgive you for it, he was always good at that.

So now hold tight to the memories, the good ones that you have.

Because even though he's been taken,

One day you'll hold his wrinkled hands again.

                                          - Megs