Lanțul slăbiciunilor (The Weaknesses' Chain)
I have a weakness too and am only human! the desires of my gracious friend Miss Mari Popescu are to me commands, which I obey the more gladly as my friend never abuses the unbounded influence she well knows she exerts on me... This time, what great deal is she asking from me?
"Esteemed friend,
I know what good friends you are with Professor Costică Ionescu and how much he is incapable of refusing you any request. You are putting a debt into my soul if you obtain from him for the pupil Mitică Georgescu from grade IV high school X... a grade of 7(1) in Latin, without which, the boy, who is a close relative of mine, will have to repeat the grade this year as well, which would be a big misfortune for his family -- one of the best -- and to me a great upset.
With the most affectionate greetings, your good friend,
Mari Popescu.
Ah! irresistible grace, how beautifully you know to command! And how well it has chanced! Ionescu has a weakness himself, he's human too! he cares for me and is unable to refuse me. Quickly I throw myself into a carriage and run to Ionescu, the Latin professor.
-- Dear Costică, I come to you certain you will not refuse me; I know how much I can count on your friendship and do not allow myself to doubt one moment that in the present case, when it's about, you understand me, a matter that interests me to such a degree, that if I weren't completely convinced that you, who have always proved to me, without ever denying an affection, which I can in turn say ... finally ...
-- Finally -- says Ionescu -- I understand ... You did not have to approach me so indirectly. You are coming to beg for some lout of a student of mine.
-- He is not a lout, Costică; he is a boy from one of the best families: we are related.
-- Who knows what lazy-bones, what imbecile!
-- It's not true, dear Costică; he's too much of a decent boy ... Don't let me down!... I come to you certain that you won't refuse me; I know how much I can count on your friendship and I do not allow myself to doubt for one moment that in the present case, being about, you understand, a matter ...
-- Hey, drop that! you know I care for you; what room is between us for such banal phrases?... What grade do you want me to give your deuced protégé?
-- 7, dear Costică!
-- But then, what if the animal knows nothing!
-- Hey, now then! say he doesn't know; like he'll be the first and last who passes without knowing ... Please, dear Costică! If the boy has to repeat a grade again, it's a misfortune for his family -- one of the best -- and to me a great upset ...
-- Ah! irresistible friendly mendicancy! says Costică; how well you know to command! C'mon! let me do you a good turn this time too ... giving the feckless one a 7.
-- Thanks, dear Costică, you're showing great largesse here!
-- What's his name?
I seek quickly in my pockets for the letter of Miss Mari Popescu. It isn't ... I tell Costică:
-- One moment!...
And I leave like hell for leather, jump into the carriage. and run home ... At home, the little missive is nowhere ... I run to Miss Popescu.
-- My too-gracious friend, the thing is going well; I obtained the desired grade from the professor; only, now I need to know the name of your protégé ... What is the young man's name?
-- I wrote you the name in my letter.
-- Yes, but I misplaced your letter at home among other papers and the thing is urgent: lest I waste time looking for it, I came to you ... What is his name?
-- Really, I can't remember, says my cute friend; because to tell you straight Madame Preotescu, a good friend of mine, for whom I care a lot -- I'm unable to refuse her anything -- has prayed me to write to you, because she knows that you care for me a lot and you never refuse me, and you are friends with Prof. Costică Ionescu, who cares a lot for you and is unable to refuse you anything.
-- Then, what is to be done? I say.
-- You sir go to Madame Preotescu and ask her how the boy is called whom she recommended to me so that I recommend him to you.
-- I kiss your hand, Madame.
And I run over to Preoteasca(2) ... I say:
-- Madame Preotescu, look why I have come to bother you: you have recommended a young man to my friend Miss Mari Popescu, so that she would recommend him to me, so that I'll recommend him to my friend Costică Ionescu, the professor ...
-- Yes.
-- Well, what's his name?
-- Didn't Mari write you?
-- Indeed, but I misplaced the letter, and Miss Popescu has forgotten his name and has sent me so you'd tell me.
-- I ... to be honest ... don't remember, because I had his name on a little note , which I left with Mari; but we can find out from Diaconeasca -- she's staying nearby -- she asked me, 'cause she knows how much Mari cares for me and you never refuse anything to Mari and Mr. Costică Ionescu the professor never refuses you.
-- Then -- I say -- how do we do it?
-- Wait a bit, I'll send to call for Diaconeasca; she's just here nearby.
We don't wait long. Madame Diaconescu comes. But, fatality! she has the same lack of knowledge of the name of our young protégé; she gave the little note to her friend Madame Preotescu.
-- What is to be done?
-- Run to Iconomeasca!
I run to Iconomeasca ... From there, to Sachelăreasca ... Then to Piscupeasca ... finally, I have reached the wellspring ... The young man is the little nephew of Madame Piscupescu, the boy of her little sister, of Madame Dăscălescu: Mitică Dăscălescu.
Nothing do we refuse -- Madame Piscupescu to Madame Dăscălescu, Madame Sachelărescu to Madame Piscupescu, Madame Iconomescu to Madame Sachelărescu, Madame Diaconescu to Madame Iconomescu, Madame Preotescu to Madame Diaconescu, Miss Popescu to Madame Preotescu, I to Miss Popescu, and to me my friend Costică Ionescu ... I run to Costică Ionescu.
-- Dear Costică, don't let me down ... I come to you certain you will not refuse me, I know how much I can count on your friendship and I don't allow myself to doubt for one moment ...
-- Come on, man, let go of the flummery ...
-- Give him a 7, as you promised me ...
-- To whom, brother?
-- To Mitică Dăscălescu.
-- Mitică Dăscălescu! I do not remember having a pupil with such name.
-- This cannot be!
-- Let's see ...
And he takes a look at the registers.
-- No; I have no such Mitică Dăscălescu, in the lower course; you are confused; he must be in the upper course.
I run ... this time straight to Madame Piscupescu.
-- Madame Piscupescu, for what grade is your little nephew giving exam?
-- For grade VI.
-- Ah! I say ... Well.
And I run straight back to Ionescu; I say:
-- He's in grade VI this Mitică Dăscălescu of mine.
-- Then he's not with me, he's with Georgescu; do you know Georgescu?
-- No. Don't you know him? he's your colleague.
-- Indeed, he cares for me a lot, he's unable to refuse me anything.
-- Then -- say I -- I pray you, don't let me down! ... I know I can count on your friendship and won't allow myself ...
-- Again? You have the carriage ... come take me quickly to Georgescu.
-- Let's go.
We arrive ... I wait for Ionescu in the carriage. In a few moments there he is.
-- You had great luck that we came straight to the target; if we had delayed by a quarter of an hour, until two, he would have taken the registers to school and transcribed them; your protégé had a 3.
-- And now?
-- He has a 7.
Behold -- I thought -- what it means to be a few minutes late; how it can destroy a youth! Mitică Dăscălescu would have repeated a grade again, even though his mother Dăscăleasca cares for him so much, for whom cares Piscupesasca, for whom cares Sachelăreasca, for whom cares Iconomeasca, for whom cares Diaconeasca, for whom cares Preoteasca, for whom much cares the gracious Popeasca, for whom I care a lot, for whom ...
Notes:
(1) Romanian grades run from 1 to 10; 7 is a mediocre but passing grade, like a B-; 5 is the minimum passing grade.
(2) In Romanian nouns have gender. Using the feminine version of a family name denotes familiarity and is slightly derogatory.
License: Creative Commons 3.0, cc-by-sa