D-l Goe (Mr. Goe)
Lest he should be held back another school year, gran'mom, mommy, and aunty Mita have promised to take young Goe to Bucuresti for the 10th of May (1).
Little do we care whether these three ladies decide to leave their place to come to the Capital solely for the sake of their son and nephew. Suffice it to say that very early in the morning, their ladyships, nicely dressed, together with young Goe, are waiting with much impatience, at the quay in the X township, the express train that's supposed to take them to Bucuresti. The truth is that, should one decide to assist to such an important national celebration, they must begin early in the morning. The train they'll take gets to the North Station (2) at ten to eight a.m.. Mr. Goe is very impatient and, in a command tone, says darkly:
--- Gran'mom! why isn't it coming already? ... I want it to come!
--- It's coming, it's coming right now, mommy's baby! answers the lady.
And she kisses the grandson; then arranges his hat.
Young Goe is wearing a nice sailor suit, a straw hat, with the inscription on the ribbon: "le Formidable", and under the ribbon the travel ticket stuck by aunty Mita, 'cause "that's how men keep their ticket".
--- See how well it suits him - says gran'mom - with the marinel (3) suit?
--- Mommy, didn't I tell you it's not called marinel?
--- But how?
--- Marinal...
--- Eh! call it as you know; I'll say it as I got used. That's how we said in my time, when this fashion first came out - marinel.
--- See, you're both stupid? interrupts young Goe. It's called neither marinal, nor marinel...
--- But how, lucky boy? asks aunty Mita with a genial smile.
--- Marineer...
--- Well there you go! not everyone is as well-read as you sir! says gran'mom, and again kisses the grandson and arranges his sailor hat.
But there's no time for philological discussions; the train is arriving - and not staying long.
The train is full '85 But with much goodwill from some polite young men, who are only going to a nearby station, seats are found for the ladies. The train has left... Gran'mom crosses herself, then lights a cigarette... Goe doesn't want to go inside the cabin; he wants to stand in the car's corridor with the men.
--- No! '85 you're not allowed to put your head out the window, little one! one of the young men says to Goe, and pulls him back a little.
--- How's that your business, uglyface? says the little one jerking away.
And after he makes a face at the uglyface, he hangs himself again with both hands by the brass rod and pulls his head out again. Uglyface has no time to answer, before the little one withdraws his bare head inside and starts bellowing.
--- Mommyyy! Gran'moooom! auntyyy!
--- What's up? What's up? the ladies jump at once.
--- Let it stop! bellows Goe even harder, stomping his feet. My hat flew away! let it stooop!
After a while, here comes the conductor to see who has got on since last station.
--- Tickets, gentlemen!
The ladies show their ladyships' tickets, explaining to the conductor why Goe can't do the same: because his ticket was in the hat ribbon, and, since the hat flew away, of course the ribbon flew with it. But he had a ticket...
--- My word! I bought it myself! says aunty Mita.
The conductor however doesn't get it, he demands a ticket; otherwise, at the next station, he has to pull Mr. Goe off. Those are the rules: if a passenger has no ticket and doesn't declare he has no ticket, he is assessed a 7 lei and 50 bani fine, and he'll pull him off the train at any station.
--- But dinna we declare? cries gran'mom.
--- What's the boy guilty 'cause his hat flew off?
--- Why did he put his head out the window? I told him not to put his head out the window! says the uglyface, with resentment.
--- It's none of your business sir! Why do you interfere? says aunty Mita to the uglyface.
--- Look, lady, here's what - says the conductor - you have to pay for a ticket...
--- Pay again? dinna we pay once?
--- And on top of that 1 leu and 25 bani.
--- And on top?...
--- See, if you don't sit quiet? says mommy, and shakes Goe by the hand.
--- What's that, sister? Are you crazy? don't you know how sensible he is? says gran'mom.
And, grabbing him by the other hand, she jerks him away from his mommy, just as the train, clanking from all its wheels, is passing over a track junction. From gran'mom's jerk one way, combined with the car's shaking the other way, it follows that Goe loses his center of gravity for a moment and rests his nose on the compartment's door handle. Goe starts yelling ... finally, there's nothing they can do. They must decide to pay the ticket, which the conductor will cut out of his book. It's a shame about the hat!... What can Mr. Goe do in Bucuresti bareheaded? and all the shops are closed!... anyone would ask, anyone who doesn't know how much care gran'mom has and how much foresight. How could the boy go with only the straw hat? What if it happens to rain, or it gets cooler? And gran'mom pulls a beret out of her sachet, also part of the uniform of the gunboat "le Formidable".
--- Is your nose still hurting, mommy's baby? asks gran'mom.
--- No ... answers Goe.
--- Cross gran'mom's heart?<br />
--- Cross it!<br />
--- Com', let gran'mom kiss him, and it'll go away!
And she kisses the tip of his nose; then, arranging the beret prettily:
--- It's like the beret fits him even better!... says gran'mom spitting him against the evil eye, then kisses him sweetly.
--- What doesn't look good on him? adds aunty Mita, and also spits him against the evil eye and kisses him.
--- Leave him alone! This is too much!... Hear that! a new hat and the ticket! says mommy, pretending to be upset.
--- Let him be, and he'll get to wear a better one! says gran'mom.
But mommy adds:
--- You aren't kissing mommy?
--- You, I don't want! says Goe slyly.
--- Is that how it is? Forget it! and she covers her eyes with her hands and makes as if she's crying.
--- Forget it, I know you're pretending! says Goe.
--- You've found your customer! says gran'mom.
Mommy begins laughing; pulls something out of her satchet and says:
--- Who kisses me... look! chuckalate!
Mommy kisses Goe, Goe kisses mommy and, picking up the piece of chuckalate, goes out to the corridor again.
--- Mommy's baby, don't pull your head out the window!... It's amazing, how smart he is! says gran'mom.
--- It's scary, my word! adds aunty Mita.
As Goe is easting his chuckalate outside, the ladies shoot a word about one thing and another '85 The train is now running from Crivina to Petris.
--- Go see what the boy is doing outside, mommy! says mommy to gran'mom.
Gran'mom raises herself slowly and goes to the corridor.
--- Goe! baby! Goe! Goe!
Goe's nowhere.
--- Woe is me! screams the lady, the boy isn't here! Where's the boy!... the boy has wasted!
And all the ladies jump...
--- The boy has fallen out of the train! Gossip, I'm dying!
But at once, with all the train noise, they hear bangs in the door of the compartment where you go only one at a time.
--- Goe! mom! there you are?
--- Yes!
--- Com'on! says gran'mom, come out already! you scared us.
--- I can't! bellows Goe from inside.
--- Why?... do you have heartburn?
--- No! I can't...
--- It's locked! says gran'mom, trying to open from the outside.
--- I can't open! bellows Goe desperately.
--- Woe is me! the boy is getting sick inside there! finally, here's the conductor with the ticket: he receives the bucks and releases the captive, whom all three ladies kiss sweetly, as if seeing him again after a lengthy absence. And gran'mom decides to stay in the corridor, on a stranger's suitcase, to guard Goe, lest something happen to the baby. The baby sees a metal line in the corner of the corridor, which has at its end an engine with a handle. He climbs on the suitcase with his feet, puts his hand on the device's handle, and starts pulling it.
--- Sit nicely, baby! lest you break something! says gran'mom.
The train goes along its way from Peris to Buftea at great speed. But by the middle of kilometer 24, at once is heard a hiss, then the alarm signal, three short whistles, and the train stops in its tracks, producing a strong concussion.
What's that? What's that?... All the passengers jump frightened to windows, doors, down the stairs...
Goe is in the corridor... Why did the train stop?
Someone, it's not known from which car, has pulled the alarm signal. From which car?... That's easy to observe; the signal's crank can only be pulled by breaking the knotted thread and the leaded knot. The train personnel are walking around busily, examining the wheels breaked at full pressure, so breaked that the mechanic needs around ten minutes to recharge the compressed air pump and be able to start the train. All throughout this, the conductors and the train chief are running from one car to another and investigating the alarm signal devices.
Who can guess in what car was the leaded thread broken and the crank toppled? Strange! in the very car from where marineer Goe's hat took flight earlier! Who? who pulled the crank? Gran'mom is sleeping deep in the compartment with the baby in her arms. It can't be known who pulled the crank.
The train gets going at last, and gets to Bucuresti with a few minutes' delay. Everybody climbs down. Gran'mom arranges Goe's beret nicely, spits the baby against the evil eye, asks if his nose is still hurting, and kisses him sweetly.
Then the ladies climb with the baby inside the coach and set off into the city:
--- To the bulivar, coachman! to the bulivar!...
Notes:
(1) May 10th was the Monarchy Day (now abolished) and the main national holiday.
(2) The main train station in Bucuresti.
(3) A neologism; "marinar" is the correct Romanian spelling. The characters sometimes speak ungrammatically.
License: Creative Commons 3.0, cc-by-sa