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Student work sample
Student work sample
Topic sentence is a claim (a statement that needs to be proven)
The illustrator represents a harmonious relationship between community and individuality.
The illustrator represents a harmonious relationship between community and individuality.
The technique of "simple line work" is identified and the effect is introduced with the analytical verb "evokes".
All subjects are drawn using simple linework which evokes a sense that we are all unified in our humanity despite our differences.
All subjects are drawn using simple linework which evokes a sense that we are all unified in our humanity despite our differences.
A second technique - symbolism - is identified and quoted.
Some characters wear religious symbols (hijab, peace signs) yet watch over their peers with a smile.
Some characters wear religious symbols (hijab, peace signs) yet watch over their peers with a smile.
The linking sentence uses a cause and effect structure and evaluative language through the use of the word "effectively".
The illustrator effectively demonstrates how community can be enhanced by acceptance of others and individuality.
The illustrator effectively demonstrates how community can be enhanced by acceptance of others and individuality.
CAUSE: 'acceptance of others'.
EFFECT: 'community can be enhanced'.
This response could be improved by:
This response could be improved by:
Using a clearer cause and effect sentence structure for the topic sentence.
Using a clearer cause and effect sentence structure for the topic sentence.
Explaining the effect of the second technique.
Explaining the effect of the second technique.
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