Krishna Kills Kaliya
How do ya like them apples? Putana was no match for My infant Self and she's the first to bite the dust. So, like dust in the wind, let's forget about her and scale further on down through time. I am now a young boy with an abundance of friends! Almost every day, we play near the River Yamuna. Yet, there is a daaangerous demon-naga who lurks in that river. His name is Kaliya and he has multiple hooded snake-heads. Oh, did I mention he's also poisonous? 'Cause that is quite an important detail. Just kidding! I'm Omniscient! Of course I know what I said, silly! Anyways, up to this point in time, Kaliya has killed many of My village friends and their parents. Anyone who dares to swim in the river is more likely to never come out than well ... the opposite.
However, yours truly has absolutely no need to fear any demons OR poisonous nagas. So one fine day, when I'm feeling a little boastful, I decide to waltz into the river while My terrified crowd of village friends scream behind Me and plead for Me to come back. Without breaking stride, I ignore them and step right into the water. When I get a little further out, I dive in head first and begin searching for Kaliya. You see him there? Oh I know, quite terrifying! Nothing like seeing a forty-foot-long multi-headed serpent staring you down while underwater.
So what do I do? It's actually quite amusing! Just watch as I swim up to Kaliya and start dancing on his hoods! Just wait until he rises out of the water and all My friends on the shore see Me dancing on the nasty creature! Haha! They're all clapping, laughing, and jumping for joy now, while before they were terrified for Me!
What's that you ask? Why yes! That's a flute that I'm pulling out of My pocket! I'm going to start playing the flute while dancing on top of a poisonous, multi-headed demon-naga! I bet you've never seen a show like this!
Now you can see that each time My powerful legs stomp on one of Kaliya's heads, it falls off while a new head grows in its place! When Kaliya has had enough of this, he begs me to spare his life and let him go. Just listen to our telepathic conversation! Yes, I'm an animal whisperer. Why does that surprise you? I'm God!
Kaliya: My Creator, my Sustainer, my Destroyer, please spare me! You crafted me with killing in my nature and it is You who have allowed it to remain present within me thus far! I beg of you, please do not punish me for deeds done by Your making!
Krishna: *Silent pause* You have words of wisdom, My dear Kaliya. I punish you so as to punish Myself. My nature is to maximize bliss within Myself. This means rebuking the parts of Me that hinder such bliss. You, my dear Kaliya, are such a part of Me. However, there is another way to rid the world, and rid Me, of your terrifying evil. I will not kill you so long as you leave this river, stop killing innocent creatures, and only use your venom as a mechanism of self-defense.
Kaliya: *Agrees* Thank you very much for your endless gratitude, my Lord! I will spare every innocent life just as You have spared mine. *Kaliya drops Krishna at the shore and swims away to a new location*
And with that, I have saved the day again! It's no wonder the gods are always antsy to test My power. Oh, have I got a playful prank for such a god! Come! Let Me bring you to the age of My human Self when all people become pranksters. Adolescence!