Who am I and why do I exist in this world? I knew the reason.

Before, I had even forgotten my own name. I was anxious. I was exactly the same as Roxas when he first came to the Organization. But I had power.

So, of course, how ironic that I would be entrusted with the castle that rules over memory. When I lost my body and became a Nobody, I understood that I had lost my memory. And so, I helped with researching memories in the hopes that I would regain my own. Memories are governed by the heart, but the heart is made of memories. A heart with no memories is already an empty shell. If you rearrange a chain of memories, you could manipulate someone in any way you wanted.

I, with no memories, became Lord of Castle Oblivion. I wonder if someone planned that, but who? Well, at this point, I suppose it doesn’t matter.

I could never abide by Xemnas’s orders. I never understood why. The whole time I pretended to obey him, I was always thinking of betrayal. Perhaps that was a small piece of my heart that still lingered. Perhaps my heart was my guiding key. I still don’t understand.

It wasn’t until much later that I realized how special that castle was. Castle Oblivion was a sealed land—the place where a Keyblade Hero slept. Where he slept.

“Drown in the heart-torn world of nothingness! I shall scatter your heart to the empty winds!”

That’s what I’d said to the Keyblade Hero. Even with his manipulated memories, he still opposed me.

“You fools—you can never understand our agony!”

I awoke as that man’s vessel after the Hero defeated me the first time and met the Keyblade Hero once more.

However, I was defeated again. And the next time I awoke, I was no longer a Nobody.

“Oh… So, now it all comes back to me.”

I laughed in self-derision.

“Hey, is that a real laugh?”

“Yes… My heart is remembering how to feel.”

I answered his question, pressing a hand to my chest.

“Really? That’s good.”

"And now, I am on the cusp of reclaiming my identity… My purpose for being. Thank you, Sora.”

And then, my heart and memories had returned. How long had it been since Larxene said that hearts were nothing but an inconvenience? Because now, my heart is filled with nothing but dark emotions. Sorrow, pain, hatred—no, not only those. There are even things like love in this resurrected heart. But humans—or rather, I, having become human, know love and therefore also know hatred. Darkness and light are never far apart.

If there were someone who could see everything in this world, maybe this was even the future they would have predicted. But I could never accept a future like that. I didn’t accept a future like that. Maybe that’s why I became a Nobody. Or maybe not.

Now what? What should I be doing from here? Where am I supposed to go now that I’m human?

Or maybe that, and my future, has already been decided for me, and I just don’t know it.

As ever, I don’t understand anything. The one thing I know is the name of a small flower.

A heart that turns away from the truth—my own heart was bound by a chain of memories and maybe I was the one who threw away its freedom.

And thus, I was the one who lost by finding, who found by losing.

But what? My memories? Or something else entirely? I don’t even know that. But maybe it’s fine if I don’t. I finally have them in my grasp, my memories. Along with these dark feelings.

I myself drowned in the ever-blooming darkness, devoured by lightless oblivion.

But I’m done with that.