the magical language of others: exploring mother-daughter relationships through language and identity

by Chaitna Deshmukh, Reporter

Arts & Entertainment

Content Warning for The Magical Language of Others: Eating disorder, self harm, suicidal ideation, war/massacre, animal death

The Magical Language of Others is a profound memoir, and a fascinating investigation into intergenerational trauma. Written by E. J. Koh, a local Korean-American woman and PhD student at the University of Washington, the book focuses on the relationships between mothers and daughters within a young woman’s family.

Through the backdrop of her adolescence and interspersed with translated letters from her mother, Koh tells a story of hurt and forgiveness over generations. The struggles of each woman are included—from war and massacre to personal tragedies—each shaping the lives and relationships of the characters. Some of these situations, like the Jeju Island Massacre, may at first be utterly unimaginable to the reader—as they were to me—but the way Koh juxtaposes them with the more familiar and relatable situations in her own life makes them easier to understand. Although it was often difficult and frustrating to understand the motivations of some characters in the book, especially Koh's mother, Koh’s portrayal of these characters encourages empathy for actions that may seem unbelievable to a reader because of cultural differences.

One of the cultural features discussed throughout the book was languages, including English, Korean, and Japanese. They are a recurring theme in the narrative, almost becoming their own characters. Each language ties the women to their family, friends, and country in a different way. For example, one of the things Koh and her mother have in common, even when they are on opposite sides of the world, is learning Japanese. This also connects them to Koh’s paternal grandmother Kumiko, who was raised in Japan until the age of twelve. Language brought them together—Koh’s mother’s letters in Korean sparked the memoir itself—but it also separated them at times—for instance, when Koh was too young to fully understand her mother’s letters, or when she used her desire to be perfect at Japanese before interacting with others to isolate herself in Japan.

This is a common experience for many children of immigrant parents—including myself. As I learn more of my parents’ native language, I feel more connected to my culture but also embarrassed when I remember just how much I do not know. This process of learning and understanding is an inherently bittersweet one.

The Magical Language of Others is not a happy memoir, but it is ultimately an optimistic view of the complex relationships between mothers and daughters. It highlights the power of understanding and empathy for how the traumatic experiences of parents influences how they raise their own children, even when forgiveness is not possible. Similar to books like On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous, and The Gangster We’re All Looking For, this memoir is an excellent pick for readers interested in stories about the Asian-American experience and the complex relationships between parents and children.

DISCLAIMER: The opinions, beliefs, and viewpoints expressed by the various authors in this paper do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs, and viewpoints of Kamiak High School or The Gauntlet.