larry bottem and the sorcerer's scone: a hilarious student parody of a classic novel

by Broni Andrus, Editor

Arts & Entertainment; School News

“Larry Bottem has never played a sport while flying on a plunger. He's never paid a guy to remove a glass pane, met a mullet-wearing man, or helped eat all the food. All Larry knows is a miserable life with teh Dursleys, his horrible aunt and uncle, and their abominable son, Dunderley.”

Thus begins the description of the latest and greatest literary Harry Potter parody—Larry Bottem and the Sorcerer’s Scone—written by Wesley Andrus, a current sophomore at Kamiak. And yes, Andrus says, “the teh was intentional”.

Larry Bottem and the Sorcerer’s Scone tells the story of Larold Roosevelt Bottem, a boy with a mysterious banana-shaped scar on his forehead, who is forced upon his uncaring aunt and uncle after an unexplained incident that brought him into the hands of the hairy and bumbling Swagrid. Mumblemore, the short, mulleted headmaster of Dogfarts School of Custodial Engineering and Wizardry (who generally hates children), decides that the Dursleys will provide the worst home for Larry, and drops him on their doorstep. So begins the journey of Larry Bottem into the magical world of plungers, custodial engineering, Digditch, and of course, scones—a journey that may or may not change the world.

It all began at a Barnes and Noble in late 2020, when the name “Larry Bottem” popped into Andrus’s head, and he started to form ideas about a comedy book parodying J. K. Rowling’s classic novel. With the help of a few friends, he started to write a parody of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, a project that would take about seven months to complete.

“I was like, hey, I want to do that. So I did,” Andrus commented in a fake British accent. “This was the first major creative writing project I’ve ever done. I started it on a whim, and by the time the writing was becoming less interesting, I was far enough in that I thought it would be nice to finish it. It felt really good to actually have a finished, completed project. It made all the effort worth the time.

“My writing has definitely improved after finishing Larry Bottem. It’s easier for me to develop and create the structure of a narrative. Overall, this project also greatly helped my ability to interpret what an author is saying in a text and make predictions about the plot. Looking that closely at a well-made work of literature lets you pick up on the more subtle aspects of writing and the techniques authors use to build intricacy into their worlds.”

Andrus is currently working on a sequel to his parody, but the second book is not—as one might suppose—based on the second installment in the Harry Potter series.

“The Jake Aroling Team chose to use a classic of American literature—Of Mice and Men—and meld it with a contemporary youth fiction novel: Into the Wild, the first book in Erin Hunter’s Warriors series. We think this unique and unexpected combination will be a refreshing new addition to the Larry Bottem franchise, and will allow us to expand our creative boundaries,” Andrus explained in appropriately corporate fashion. “But in all seriousness, my ultimate goal is to make people laugh. I hope everyone who reads Larry Bottem laughs out loud at least once.”

Andrus is looking forward to continuing his work on the Larry Bottem series over the next few years with the help of his friends. He advises everyone to stay on the lookout for Larry Bottem two, a book that will strike the markets like the way a block of cheddar jell-o would strike a small, unsuspecting forest animal.

If you would like to support a local group of authors, or if you are just interested in learning more about Andrus’s book, visit the Amazon or Barnes and Noble website, and search for Larry Bottem and the Sorcerer’s Scone. The book is available in hardcover, paperback, and ebook versions.

DISCLAIMER: The opinions, beliefs, and viewpoints expressed by the various authors in this paper do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs, and viewpoints of Kamiak High School or The Gauntlet.