To understand the significance of this camera, we must first consider what it means to “capture a moment.” A moment, by nature, is fleeting as it passes as quickly as it arrives. And yet, with a photograph, we attempt to hold it still, to translate impermanent into permanence. 

When I saved up for my Fujifilm X-T100 after my third paycheck (adult yay), I knew I was investing in a tool that promised to preserve something that, by definition, resists preservation.

This end blog, above being simply a visual and textual record, is my small attempt at understanding myself through the assignments we've had throughout MMS 173. 

A self, briefly made visible. My reflection and story.

The Beginning After the End

I began this class knowing less than the basics. Photography before was, defaulted to flash and automatic mode, because they were what worked at the time. I was less a photographer and more an illustrator. 

To be asked to direct light, space, and movement felt beyond me, honeslty. I pressed buttons. I had a persisting stubbornness to not learn beyond point-and-shoot. And even then, the camera still responded. That was enough at first, but not anymore.

My unspoken goal, though I couldn’t articulate it at the time, was to learn how to see. To understand why an image worked, and how I might replicate or build upon that. I didn’t want to depend on mere luck anymore, I craved intention in my photography. I wanted to take pictures on purpose.

There are things I wish had been different. I wish I had more time to practice. Had more discipline learning about the Exposure Triangles. I wish I had done better at both quizzes.

But most of all, I regret not being able to attend the face-to-face session (and a mini one too). Laguna was simply too far from where I am (and at the time I was recovering from a surgery, was on bed rest for days, and can only practice home photography for a few weeks). I imagine I would have learned more about the technical aspects, perhaps even discovered answers to questions I didn’t yet know how to ask if I had attended the offline session.

As for photography itself, I love it even more now. Before this, if one looked through my instagram feed, my photos were about posing still, in my best angle, being composed, flash on, and being little-miss-perfect. Very artificial even though it looked good.

Now that I’ve learned that movement is a form of posing, I'm yearning for the fluidity that can be more honest than stillness. I still struggle with traditional posing, but I’ve begun to let my body move and trust that the camera will follow somehow.

Equally important is my shift in awareness. Before, my bad habit was that I shot images and hoped for the best. Now, I think about composition before I press the shutter. The framing. I’ve learned that a good photograph needs to be done with thought and care. 

To tell a story.

That is my biggest takeaway. A photograph, at its core, is all about narrative. Much like an illustration. It says: this happened, this mattered, this is how I saw it. And perhaps more importantly: this is how I want you to see it, too. That kind of intentionality changes how I see the camera.

This class has taught me to witness better. So while I may have started in automatic mode, I leave this course with a deeper sensitivity to light, to motion, to depth (hello Exposure Triangle). I am still learning, of course... and perhaps that is the beginning of becoming not just a better photographer, but a better version of me.

And now...

Thanks to everything we’ve done in this course, I realized that I actually want to keep pursuing photography more seriously.

Three goals I have in mind:

• Own a photography studio (and combine it with my passion for makeup and fashion)

• Astrophotography

• Capture all mountains in the Philippines  (the last two are more of hobby goals because I love nature)

And because I believe in manifestation, maybe 10 years from now I'll suddenly remember of this blog we did for a photography class. Maybe, I'll be in my own photography studio in the Metro, resting after my 50th mountain summit, and I'm a successful artist. Who knows? 😅

I hope that you had fun reading my end blog for this course as much as I had fun writing it. To end this blog, here's a poem I've cooked up just now.

some memories never leave.
you'll remember how it felt,
as the brain swears by what it sees,
and the eyes declares its biases.

but in the end, we become stories.
i've recorded my heart in the stars,
so when i look at the photograph,
the moment is alive again.