Throwing Old Traditions to the Wayside

Tossing rice or other grains at the newlyweds is a tradition as old as the hills. Rice symbolizes fertility and prosperity. Tossing rice means you're blessing the couple with wishes of fruitfulness and wealth.

Through the Years

The ancient Celts threw rice, millet and other grains to appease their gods and ask for blessings on the newlyweds. Ancient Romans tossed wheat while in Morocco, they toss dried dates or figs. In India, it's a rain of flower petals. In more recent years, tossing rice has met with objections that the leftover grains can harm wildlife. The state of Connecticut even introduced a bill in 1985 to ban throwing rice to save birds. However, Audubon officials in the state never heard of rice killing birds and subsequent testing has shown it to be safe. What rice can do, is be a slip hazard for your guests. Someone should be tasked with cleaning up after the rice throw to keep things picked up and safe.

Alternatives

There are several reasons why you want to skip the rice toss. It's just not done much anymore. Maybe you and your partner aren't planning to have children. Perhaps you'd like to avoid the safety hazards with rice or want a greener option. Here are some alternatives to

consider:

- Birdseed

- Dried Flowers

- Herbs

- Flower Petals

Other Creative Options

You can also pass out small bells to have your guests ring, or ribbons to wave. Another popular choice, is to hand out small containers of bubble solution with wands and have your guest blow bubbles. Couples having evening ceremonies can find extra-long sparklers for their wedding party to hold while they walk through. Just be safe, if you choose this option.

Releasing Butterflies

Often thought of in terms of beauty and change, butterflies have always been a symbol of good luck. They also represent the metamorphosis involved in joining the lives of two people into one new life.

What is Involved?

Well, fortunately, you don't have to catch your own butterflies. There are actually butterfly farmers who raise healthy butterflies specifically for releasing at weddings and other occasions. Generally, butterflies can be ordered online and are delivered in coolers to your door at a specified date. Despite their delicate appearance, butterflies require minimal care. They are cold-blooded creatures, so they go into a dormant state while being transported in the coolers. They will become activated again and ready to fly as they warm up. Complete care instructions will accompany your butterflies. Remember that butterflies must be released during daylight hours and in temperatures above 60 degrees Fahrenheit.

How Many?

Many people are under the impression that more butterflies are better, but a mass of butterflies can actually be distracting and overwhelming. Another thing to consider is that butterflies don't necessarily just fly away. They tend to flit around the area and they will even light on guests. Typically, just a few will be enough to make a memorable statement at your wedding.

More Traditions To Choose From

The Garter Toss: This tradition originates from France and England. Guests would fight to get it from the bride as it symbolized good luck to whoever got it. To avoid the embarrassment of a rowdy mob trying to get the garter. The newlyweds would toss it to the crowd to be able to distract the crowd and run off to the wedding reception. Today, the groom throws the garter to a group of single men. Whoever catches it is to be the next lucky man to marry.

The Threshold Carry: Medieval Europe is the origin of this tradition. They said the bride loved her parents so much she did not want to leave them after the wedding ceremony. The groom carrying her across the threshold was to get his bride home. The threshold carry today is more done for fun.

Lighting Unity Candles: The bride and groom each lights a candle, together they light a larger one to symbolize their new union.

The Goom Not Seeing the Bride Before the Ceremony:

This practice emerges from pre-18th century time, when it was common place for pre-arranged marriages. It was deemed "unlucky" for a bride and groom to see one another. This was an attempt to keep the groom from backing out of the wedding upon seeing his unidentified bride to be prior to the ceremony. 

Which Traditions Are Right For You?

I was shocked, at my own wedding, at how many people asked us if we were following this tradition, or that one. We opted not to save two pieces of wedding cake for a year, much to the horror of my new mother-in-law, but we did opt to do the "Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue" tradition. Maybe you're not a champagne person and opt for something different ,or non-alcoholic, for the toast. All of this is just fine. Honestly, the best advice out there, is to have the kind of wedding you want. Don't let tradition rule, and go with your hearts. It's your big day. There are lots of options that can match your wedding theme, venue and personality. Get creative, and if you're throwing anything, make sure you're throwing a safe celebration to be remembered.