I have always felt anxiety as a quiet presence that never goes away, a constant whisper that sometimes I barely notice and other times shakes me like an unexpected storm. I remember one summer when I was thirteen. I was sitting on the floor of my room, surrounded by books and crumpled papers. My pencil trembled in my hand and my heart was beating so fast it felt like it would jump out of my chest. I felt a heavy weight on my chest and a cold shiver ran down my back. I tried to breathe, but it was hard. A fear I didn’t understand paralyzed me. That was the day I realized it wasn’t just nerves—it was anxiety, and it would be with me for a long time.
Anxiety can happen at any time. Sometimes it is just a tingling in the chest, and other times it is so strong that it feels like the world stops. As Dr. Jane Smith, a neurologist at Harvard, explains, “Anxiety is the body’s natural reaction to danger,” triggered by hormones like adrenaline and cortisol (Smith 45). The problem is when this alarm goes off for no reason. The body stays on alert all the time, and that is exhausting. Sometimes it’s weird to realize that my own body reacts as if something is attacking me when there is nothing there.
My relationship with anxiety is complicated. Sometimes I feel it is my worst enemy because it takes away my peace, my sleep, and my focus. But I have also realized that it can help me: it makes me more careful and prepared. For example, before a test, anxiety makes me go over everything again and again. It’s tiring, but it also pushes me to do my best. Anxiety can be both a friend and an enemy at the same time. When I have an attack, my breathing gets short, my chest tightens, and my muscles tense as if carrying an invisible weight. Emotionally, it sometimes makes me feel alone because I think no one can understand what I’m going through. I have asked myself many times, “Why can’t I calm down?” But now I know anxiety is not my fault or a weakness; it’s part of me and I am learning to live with it.
Knowing that anxiety has been studied for centuries makes me feel less alone. In ancient Greece, Hippocrates already wrote about how the body affects the mind (On the Nature of Man). In the 19th century, doctors started to recognize anxiety as a problem of the nervous system. Today we know it can come from genetic, emotional, and environmental factors. As Dr. Luis González says, “Anxiety disorders result from a complex interaction of genetic, emotional, and environmental factors” (González 102). The CDC says about 32% of adolescents in the U.S. experience anxiety at some point (CDC). Knowing this reminds me I’m not the only one going through this.
Writing about my anxiety has helped me a lot. Putting my thoughts into words makes something that once felt huge easier to handle. Talking with friends and family connects me to others and reminds me that everyone has their own struggles, even if they don’t show them. Learning techniques like deep breathing and meditation has taught me to be patient with myself. Not every day is the same. Some days anxiety controls everything, but other days are calm: a quiet afternoon, a night of good sleep, a conversation where I feel present. Those moments show me that I am moving forward, even if slowly.
Living with anxiety has taught me to be patient with myself, to know my limits, and to treat myself with kindness. Therapy, writing, and time have helped me realize that anxiety doesn’t have to be my enemy. It is something I can manage. Every short breath, racing heartbeat, and restless night reminds me that I am still here and can keep going. Sometimes I get scared, sometimes I get tired, but I keep learning. Between shadows and whispers, anxiety is both a challenge and a teacher. It shows me how strong and fragile I can be at the same time. And in the middle of my silent storms, little by little, I find my peace.
Works Cited
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Anxiety and Depression in Teens. CDC, 2023.
González, Luis. Treatment and Causes of Anxiety. Mental Health Publishing, 2019.
Hippocrates. On the Nature of Man. Translated by Francis Adams, Dover Publications, 2005.
Smith, Jane. Understanding Anxiety: The Neuroscience of Stress. Harvard University Press, 2018.
After reviewing all the feedback from Professor Ntoso and the comments on my draft, I realized how much my writing has improved. One thing I really like about my essay is that I used specific details that make my experience with anxiety feel real to the reader. I also like my title, Silent Storms, because it shows very well how anxiety feels.
Something I want to keep improving is how I include quotes and connect research to my personal story. Professor Ntoso showed me how to make the information flow better in my writing. I also want to keep improving my MLA citations.
One question I want to keep asking myself is: “Does this information really improve my message, or does it interrupt my story?”
Thinking about this helps me write more clearly and strongly.
Overall, this process has helped me grow as a writer and as a person. I feel proud of my progress and grateful that writing helps me understand my emotions better.
Mariana Contreras is a student at Houston Community College. She enjoys learning about personal growth and uses writing to express her feelings and experiences.