A typical warm September day, in a circle made by people. On a fluffy grass plot surrounded by gravel roads. Found in the back corner lot of the grave site. Waiting for my best friend to arrive, watching people wipe their tears, all I can do is feel the thumping of my heart. As we waited, the sun came out beaming us with light. Light so bright you wished you had sunglasses and a short sleeved shirt. As you hear the rumbling of tires over gravel, dust kicking off the tires, slowly coming to a stop, she arrived.
The soldiers played music and did their ceremony, while the air got stiffer. A speaker came during his speeches and prayers. I could do nothing but zone out as I looked at her casket from a far. I could have almost smiled pondering over many memories made throughout the years. Fading back to as the speaker finished up what he had to say. Followed by a familiar looking woman who sang “You are my sunshine” as the sun continued to beam with light.
The service had ended yet I still couldn’t move as I watched everyone say their good knowing I needed to leave soon. The majority of people had cleared, I knew it was my turn hoping time would slow down. I joined the line of about four people, my heart thumping harder than before. As my emotions started to defrost and my eyes flooded my face. It was my turn even though I wasn't ready to say goodbye.
For my imagery and reflection essay I choose to write about attending my best friend's funeral because it’s a memory I can remember every part of. I’m from a small town where tragic news doesn't happen too often. This was the first time a tragedy had happened to someone I was close with. I’d never been more emotionally drained than I was the year after. Throughout my healing I had to take control back over my memories. We were friends for 12 years but the first memory that would come to my head was her funeral. Making this imagery essay was a part of my healing journey allowing me to make this memory into a beautiful complex story.
Throughout the whole story I put in a lot of thought in every aspect of building the piece even if the reader misses it. So that I could tell the story without word vomiting or making it too specific while still having the rawness, honesty, and vulnerability. By making the reader think harder about if there's another meaning. While allowing the reader to still relate and put themselves in the story. Intentional symbolism within the first two sentences to make the reader think of questions from the start. Building a scene and adding a sense of wonder. While representing the two days I waited to hear back from her just to get a call the third day that she had passed. And by the 3 sentences you know we are at a grave site. I wanted to read and feel how unexpected and abrupt it was to end up at the grave site just how it was for me.
During the story I brought up how bright the sunlight was multiple times for a reason. That morning it was gloomy but by the time the hearse pulled up the sun was shining. Shining so bright everyone had something to say about it. To me the sun was my best friend shining, telling us bye. Bringing up the sunlight in the story was to represent her being there even though she wasn't amongst us.
While writing I wanted the story to build with how my emotions during that moment grew as my numbness disappeared. Allowing the reader to resemble the feelings I had during the moment. The last paragraph I wrote to feel fast like you are just getting to the climax only for it to end. Just to resemble how fast we all found out and had to say goodbye while also showing how short her lifetime was.
Throughout our 12 years of friendship Avry had always pushed me to my limits. She believed in me when I had no faith in myself and she pushed me to achieve things I would have never batted an eye at. Avry was an academic and athletic scholar before she passed; she was attending the Air Force Academy with a scholarship in Track and field. Growing up together Avry had always been the over achiever while I did the bare minimum. By the time we graduated she had gotten me to join the student council, become a class officer, take a college class, act in the school's Shatter dreams program, join colorguard, speak at graduation, along with joining the crosscountry, track, and powerlifting team. I would have never done any of that if it wasn't for her influence. Being able to look back at all I have accomplished makes me so unbelievably grateful to have Avry as my best friend because I truly don't know where in my life, I’d be without her.
Having healthy beneficial friendships is the key to improving your life in many different ways.
“38 research articles were made between 2000-2019” (Pezirkianidis et al) stating how healthy beneficial friendships are predicted to improve your wellbeing and longevity. As well as improving your mental health,happiness, improve your confidence, help you find a purpose, push you to be a better person, and to help you when you take a step in the wrong direction. We know how positive friendships can be but not every friendship you have is going to be beneficial and healthy. It's important to look out for red flags with anyone you come in contact with but especially the people you let close to you. “Signs that a friendship isn't healthy are being emotionally drained, lower self esteem, pressured into unhealthy habits,and an increase of anxiety or stress” (Mayo Clinic Staff).
Having the luxury of being her friend for so long has taught me so many life lessons, good and bad. Just like any relationship there will be highs and lows. I usually talk about the highs of our friendship but it wouldn't be real if I didn't include the lows. Because it's normal for friends to fight the important part is how you forgive. Throughout our 12 years we had one fallout and it was 100% my fault. Some of the hardest things I had to learn about friendships is that not all friends have your best interest in mind, and to not be scared to say or do something when someone is doing something wrong. In middle school me and Avry had different friend groups, after sometime my friend group started to bully Avry for the sole purpose that she was friends with the boys. And I sat there and watched for too long but at some point I couldn't watch anymore. I stood up, said a not nice “good bye” and went and apologized to Avry. She accepted my apology and after some time we were closer than ever.
Every aspect of a friendship is important, not just having a friend with good influences. It is about the lessons you teach and learn from each other on the way. Our friendship has taught me to see through the fake friends, stand up for the people you love, how to receive tough love, to not care what people think of me, to think good of myself, and to know what it's like to have a true friend.
Being able to surround yourself with healthy friendships is a true priceless luxury. That too many people take for granted or have yet to experience. Friendship plays an important part in your life whether you notice it or not. No matter what chapter of life you're at, friends play a big part in it. Always be grateful for the loved ones you have and don't be afraid to show or tell them, you never know when it will be the last till it happens.
Works Cited
Pezirkianidis, Christos, et al. “Adult Friendship and Wellbeing: A Systematic Review with Practical Implications.” Frontiers, 4 Dec. 2025, www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1059057/full. Accessed 05 Dec. 2025.
Staff, Mayo Clinic. “The Health Benefits of Good Friends.” Mayo Clinic, Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research, 15 Oct. 2024, www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/friendships/art-20044860.
Carmen Rathburn is a first-time student at Houston Community College majoring in Culinary Arts.